Weight of The World

Renji’s eyes opened slowly. He wasn’t dead yet, and while he expected his body to be incredibly sore, he didn’t feel any pain. He put his hands up to his neck; there was no blood, like the lizardman’s final goodbye had never happened at all. A flash of green caught his eye as he saw Nemi at his right, exhausted, but happy. “It’s a good thing you cast that spell when you did, or I wouldn’t have found you in time. Though I have to know; how did you know to cast that spell? Neither Hutch nor I have really explained how to do it yet.” Her voice, while layered with concern, was peppered with delightful curiosity, but tamed by the seriousness of the situation.

“Where’s Mariel?” Renji whipped his head around, trying to find any sign of the maid that defended him. There she was, speaking to a guard, still looking as though the world weighed on her shoulders. Renji let out a huge sigh of relief, but as he reclined back, he could feel his back pressed against Illya’s shins as she stood behind him. Bolting upright, Renji expected Illya to be mad with him, to tell him how he was an idiot for getting himself kidnapped, or nearly drowning. However, the princess seemed to be at a loss for words. Her eyes darted to and fro, unable to meet his gaze. Her knuckles clenched at her dress—her battle regalia, like a child about to get in trouble with her parents.

“Sorry I got kidnapped,” Renji began, turning to face Illya completely. “It’s not your fault.” Renji’s words began to fade into silence as he felt Illyandaril’s rising distress. Suddenly, she dropped to her knees in front of Renji, tears welling at the corner of her eyes. “You could have died. You chose to try and save me by sacrificing yourself. Why?” Her questions almost felt like accusations, but he could tell beneath her glare that she was just hurting. She felt responsible, even more so because of her confidence. She knew she alone could have handled all of those thugs, but because they targeted Renji to get to her, she feared that she had painted a target on his back simply for existing.

“Why??” Renji parroted back to her, suddenly finding himself at a loss for words. “Your life is more valuable,” he wanted to say, but he knew her well enough to know that would likely drain her of her spirit. He had to be more selective on what he wanted to focus on in response, so to buy himself time and to clear his mind, he took a deep breath; in through the nose, out through the mouth. “I just didn’t want to see you get hurt.”

Silence stretched for a moment before Illya reached over to Renji, her hands tracing the new scars that lined his neck. She should have suggested that Renji have more guards to protect him, she should have known someone would have tried something like this. The “should haves,” “could haves,” and “would haves” raced through her mind, but all she could do for him now was pull him in, hugging him as she let his head rest against her chest.

Renji was speechless. He hadn’t expected something so gentle and warm from her, but he could feel something crack under the surface. A tear rolled down his cheek as his body began to shake. He had been so tough for so long, and while he had near-death experiences in his past, he had never felt anything like this, and he had certainly never tried to take someone else’s life in the past. The stress of it all began to seep through the cracks. A man that was once believed to be an immovable pillar had not realized that gashes had formed within him. Even when he awoke, he was shaking. Just what did the others see on his face that compelled even the haughty brat Illyandaril to comfort him? He wanted to laugh, to curse his own weakness, but only choked sobs began to escape him as he could no longer contain the stress any further.

His previous life was gone. Any friends he knew, anyone he cared about, would believe him dead from mysterious circumstances. He’d never see them again, and on his first day in a new world he battled, juggled forces beyond his current comprehension, and met beings even further from his understanding—all to end in a kidnapping that would carry over to the next day. Perhaps Mariel saw it, too. That would have certainly explained to him just why she was acting so nice to him. He was breaking. Above all, he just attempted to take a man’s life. In defense of his own, yes, but he drove a weapon into his gut, blasted him with magic. Would Renji be able to handle having that kind of blood on his hands, even in a world he didn’t belong to?

“Boss—I’m sorry. It was all going smoothly, we had it handled until the princess showed up—”

“You were too hasty. Had you laid low for another night, you could have evaded detection. In your panic, you left at the worst possible time.”

“It won’t happen again, sir, I swear.”

In the dark outskirts of the forest lining the nearby beach, the two remaining kidnappers were on their knees. The man with two daggers had his hands together as though in prayer, while the lizardman kept his head down, his hand pressed firmly against the wound in his gut—the pain all too fresh.

“Still, your information has proven to be insightful. Perhaps this wasn’t a complete waste of time after all. Your companions were captured, correct?” The dark voice asked, remaining covered by the dark shadows that lined the treeline.

“Yes, my lord. I-I’m so sorry,” pleaded the dagger-wielding bandit.

“As I understand it, you kidnapped another one of theirs. A maid, am I correct? Were you under the realization that most of the servants in Aldelthorne Castle are each given a rune so that their masters may track their location at their very leisure?” A deep growl emerged from the forest, causing the two bandits to quake.

“I-I did not, my lord…” There were no more words. There was nothing they could do to escape judgment now. Had they not kidnapped the maid, the princess would never have found them, and they would have succeeded.

“I did what I could to delay the inevitable, but you have proven yourself less than worthless. I shall make you an offer; survive, and perhaps you shall find employment again. If not, then you will serve me better now as feed than you have as men.”

Screams filled the forest that night. None were spared the wrathful hunger of the creature who never knew satiation. It did not follow its master as he returned home. The creature had been unleashed, free to gorge and dine on whatever unlucky force it encountered. The forest wept and died at its crusade, its ecosystem irreparably damaged in one single night.