Draped in Light

I found myself in a complete void when I regained consciousness.

Deprived of all sensation, I couldn’t tell where I was or reach anything. As if stuck in limbo, I was left to wander for eternity with no explanation and no solace.

I wasn’t shrouded in darkness, and there was no veil to cover my eyes either.

There was simply nothing.

There was no heaven or hell, just emptiness. Not that I ever believed in either.

How much time had passed since I died? Was this how everything was supposed to end?

There was no one to answer.

I was truly alone.

For the 23 years I had been alive, loneliness was common, but the thought of eternal isolation filled me with dread.

It terrified me.

I was nothing more than a consciousness, with no physical or spiritual body, adrift in this endless abyss.

While my worries still sank in, a sense of cold began to present itself.

It wasn’t freezing, just a gentle breeze grazing my skin, making me aware of my body.

I wasn’t just the soul-like entity I had previously thought. I still had a body, though I was powerless to move it.

The sound of wind and rustling grass reached my ears, dispelling the silence around me.

At that moment, a bright light appeared above me, seemingly out of nowhere.

It grew larger and brighter by the second, like the classic light at the end of the tunnel, though I couldn’t imagine what lay beyond if I was already dead.

Within seconds, the void filled with light, and a clear image began to form before me.

When I came back to my senses, I found myself lying on my back in a giant grass field. I was still wearing my backpack, staring straight up at the cloudy sky.

Sunlight seeped through breaks in the clouds, forming an organ pipe. Beautiful, orange-tinted, column-like rays of light spread across the skies, and the world stood still before them.

I squinted my eyes, still adjusting to all the clarity after exiting a state of pure darkness moments prior. Attempting to swallow, there was hardly any saliva, and the effort slightly hurt my throat.

The gentle breeze from earlier had grown colder, and without thinking, I hugged myself and rubbed my hands for warmth.

A sudden realisation hit me.

Hurriedly pushing myself upright, I noticed that my previously shattered left arm was completely healed.

Wiggling my fingers, no pain remained, and the wounds had vanished as if the traumatic accident had been nothing more than a figment of my imagination. As if it had never happened.

Disoriented and perplexed, I focused on my surroundings.

A vast prairie stretched before me, dotted with lone trees and bare patches where grass thinned. The same landscape extended in every direction, save for a distant range of mountains to the left and a forest to my right.

I looked down at myself, searching for the plastic bag with the things I had just bought. I tapped my pockets for my wallet, phone, or house keys, but none of them were anywhere to be found.

The sack I had left on the ground before the accident wasn’t here, and neither were the rest of my belongings. They had likely fallen while I was trying to flee.

It seemed that the only things I still had were whatever I was carrying when I supposedly died.

“I should’ve put everything in the backpack,” I blurted half-jokingly before pausing and staring at the swaying grass that blurred into the horizon.

I stood still, my mouth open, my blood running cold.

It finally dawned on me.

I was stranded, alone, in an unfamiliar place with no food or water.

My breath quickened.

Cold sweat slicked my skin.

Shaking, I slowly hugged my knees and curled into a ball.

Where was I? Why was I here? How did I get here?

An overload of questions rushed my mind as my heart beat out of my chest.

That was when it hit me.

I noticed the presence of an unfamiliar sensation.

There was a strange energy flowing within me. It was everywhere and nowhere at once, impossible to pinpoint.

It seemed to gush out of my body while staying in its orbit, like hovering over my skin, not confined to me alone.

This strange sensation was unlike anything I had ever felt or read.

Still in the same position, I could sense it traversing my body, from head to toe, back and forth.

Then, it clicked.

It felt just like the concept of mana I had seen so much. The idea of a mysterious energy capable of lending the power necessary for its user to harness magic.

It was a common trope in many fantasies I read and watched, making it a staple of Japanese fiction.

My lips parted as an important piece finally fell into place.

This whole situation felt eerily similar to the typical plot of an isekai, a genre I had grown bored of consuming.

There was no denying my current circumstances were strikingly alike, but it couldn’t be true, right? There was no way a fictional genre I had read so much about could turn into a reality.

Accepting that I had really died and been reincarnated in another world sent a shiver down my spine.

It was one thing to face death. Believing this, though, was even harder.

However, this made no sense.

Normally, I would be greeted by some kind of god or the creator of this world when I arrived, but that didn't happen.

Then again, this proved nothing. Not every story followed that pattern.

Each thought left me increasingly unsettled.

“This is a dream…” I exclaimed hysterically, trembling and smiling, with drying tears streaming down my face.

“It has to be a dream. There’s no way it isn’t!”

My chest tightened.

Thoughts crashed over each other, impossible to sort.

I buried my head between my thighs and shut my eyes.

“I must still be sleeping. Both the accident and this are lucid dreams.”

“There’s no proof I’m actually dead. No proof this is another world. Maybe I just woke up here for some reason I don’t know yet. The strange feeling inside me could be something I simply lack the knowledge of.”

Some ideas clung harder than others.

If I really were dead, how would I be dreaming or even thinking, for that matter? My brain should have stopped working, right?

All I knew for certain was that, whether this was a dream, a post-mortem fantasy, a reincarnation in another world, or some unplaceable corner of the real world, I was here, now, and I had to do something.

I crossed my legs, closed my eyes tighter, and drew deep breaths, trying to steady the racing in my chest.

Each breath felt dry, resulting in an uncomfortable wheeze as I inhaled.

I wasn’t able to focus at all.

I couldn’t stop sweating.

What was I going to do?

Nothing came to mind.

Trembling, I plucked the grass blades next to me, both hands crushing them in their grip.

After a few minutes listening to the subtle crunch of grass in my palms, I managed to calm myself and opened my eyes again.

With the clouds temporarily clearing, I saw the sun descending towards the mountains.

My head cleared, and my senses slowly sharpened again.

Watching the sun edge towards the mountains to the west, I figured north had to be to the right.

Clinging to the thought that heading to the forest was my best option, I breathed in deeply as I scanned around one last time before moving on.

I set my backpack down and opened it. Rummaging through my belongings, I found only the notebook and two pencils, just as I had thought. It almost confirmed that I had packed them before leaving the apartment today. But I pushed the thought aside, not wanting to break down again.

I stood up.

The thin black sweatpants I wore as pyjamas, and usually didn’t bother to take off for short walks, were now soaked from the dewy grass, and my white t-shirt clung to my skin.

The air was already chilly, and the cold would likely deepen once night fell.

Since these trousers took forever to dry, I would have to take them off and try to warm my legs with whatever I could find, even if just draping my rucksack over them.

Glancing around one last time, there were no animals or strange creatures in sight.

I was alone in the vast plains.

The orange glint of the setting sun reflected off the dew on the grass. The familiar grass scent, long forgotten since my childhood, seeped through my nostrils. The sound of the wind, weaker than before, still dominated the landscape.

What a beautiful place I chose to have a mental breakdown.

My stomach growled with hunger as I set out towards the forest. I could feel the air roaming around inside.

I needed a plan. I would have to survive alone for at least a few days.

I thought about using the notebook to record the strange things I saw and keep track of the days. I wasn’t a survival expert, but it felt like writing things down might help.

First, however, I needed to find shelter, somewhere to stay dry and safe from any creature possibly lurking nearby. Food and water would come next, then wood and stones for a fire to keep from freezing overnight.

I dragged my feet through the grass as I walked. With each stride, water droplets flew everywhere, splashing when they landed. The ground felt muddy, dirtying the soles of my already wet shoes and clinging to them every time I lifted my feet.

I tried focusing on everything around me to distract myself, but my heartbeat still drummed loudly.

Aside from the strange sensation inside of me, everything just felt extremely real. This didn't look like a dream at all, nor did the accident.

I wasn’t sure what to believe in right now.

As I neared the forest, I started feeling sick.

My vision blurred into a haze, and bile climbed into my throat. The air grew heavier with every step, pressing in from all sides.

The sickness worsened the more I moved forward.

My breath grew ragged. My blood boiled, as if I were spiking a fever. Flashes of blindness came and went, and nausea made my steps falter.

It reminded me of how I had felt during the accident, though less severe.

I paused for a second.

Steadying my breath, I fought to keep myself from fainting.

I slowly trudged back, hoping to ease the symptoms. Searching for the cause of this sickness, I strained to sense any change around me.

The air seemed filled with the same energy I felt inside me.

If this was truly mana, the forest was definitely a zone with a higher density, and the fact that I wasn’t used to it yet was probably what was making me feel sick.

I sat down once more and closed my eyes. Slowly, I tried shifting my focus between the two energies, but it was much harder than I had anticipated.

I couldn’t grasp them. I couldn’t control them at all. Like sand, they slipped through my fingers.

Sweat trickled down my limbs, soaking my shirt.

My chest heaved.

My head grew light.

I couldn't stop panting.

The feeling dragged for minutes before I finally managed to calm down.

I found a surprising rhythm to it. The energy pulsated, matching the cadence of my heartbeat.

Though I couldn’t feel it clearly, my body seemed to absorb the energy from outside while releasing some of its own.

I stood at the heart of a chaotic swirl of forces, trapped for what felt like an eternity.

One moment I felt almost normal. The next, dizzy and fighting the urge to vomit.

During this time, my control over the strange energy seemed to grow, both inside and out.

I was finally able to direct it at specific parts of my body, even if only briefly.

By the end, I no longer felt like I was giving in to the sickness.

When I finally opened my eyes, the sun had already set behind the mountain peaks, but the moon was still missing from the dark sky.

The temperature had dropped considerably, making my wet sweatpants feel like ice against my skin.

I was so focused on controlling the unknown energies that I didn't notice anything else.

Looking back, that could have gone very badly if something had spotted me. I had left myself completely exposed.

I once again attempted to approach the forest, my arms hanging limply at my sides.

A sharp, rhythmic pain throbbed behind my eyes, but this time, I managed to get there, suffering only from short moments of nausea.

A cacophony of strange sounds immediately surrounded me. Constant whines and buzzes rose above the trees’ rustling.

I couldn’t ignore them.

Engulfed in the forest’s darkness, with no moonlight or any other light source, I wandered, slowly advancing through the uneven terrain with my arms stretched before me.

I was left to search for a place to sleep and something to cover me up during the night.

I had already given up on the idea of searching for food or water today. There was no chance of spotting anything in the dark.

After stumbling my way farther into the forest for a while, my legs cramping with pain, I came to a large, reasonably flat rock sheltered by a tree.

It wasn't the best resting spot, but fatigue halted my efforts, and my head hurt too much for me to continue.

I decided to take off my trousers, shoes, and socks and lay them to dry on one side of the rock where moss didn’t seem to grow.

Reaching for anything nearby, I grabbed a strange plant with huge leaves, which worked well enough as a cover.

It gave off a strong grassy, bitter scent that effectively masked my own and reduced the chance of being attacked.

Even though my bag was still humid, I pulled it under my head and lay down, draping the leaf I had just ripped from that strange plant over my legs.

Despite the lack of warmth, tonight was rather mild. There were definitely bigger worries.

I was too exhausted to care.

My stomach howled. My dry mouth hung half-open, with my tongue stuck against my cracked lips.

I needed to fall asleep.

Wary, I listened to the sharp rustle of the leaves as I watched them sway over the dark sky. The shadows melted with the weight of my eyelids. My sweaty hands trembled faintly. The stone's sharper edges dulled my back each time an unfamiliar sound echoed.

I just needed to fall asleep.

I had to find food. I had to find water. I had to figure out where I was.

My head was full.

“Where… am I?” I mouthed, my breathing unsteady. A dry tear stopped halfway down my cheek.

As I tossed and turned, discomfort spread throughout my drained body.

Each shift pressed against the uneven surface.

For a moment, my heartbeat slowed.

After a while, my breathing regained its rhythm, and slumber, gently holding my hand, gradually drew me into sleep, even if only briefly.