Chapter 43:
Otherworldly Acumen: The System's Rigged Against Me!
That stare of his was sharp enough to slash through my heart.
“Why are you here?” I asked.
The proctor snorted. “Finally worked up the courage to ask about the Hooliphant in the room?” That bastard smiled the whole time.
“You just came to watch me flail in this ‘fetidness,’ didn't you? Well, look around now: we are improving while you are going out of your way to look for children to belittle."
"It is honestly pathetic,” Daisy added.
“Here, just for you, the elf? Please. My visit is far more general. Though, I’ll admit, this was the first place I stopped. I simply wished to see how you were doing.”
“Fuck you.”
“Whoa! Weuwwy! Pulled a string there, didn’t I? I could smell your hatred from miles away, you know. I hope you put your lack of shower-time to good use next week when you sit the Adventurer's Exam.”
My heart sank.
I started to sputter, but Piper stepped in before I could make things worse. “You can’t be serious. We only learned about this test today. The Capital surely has procedures prohibiting such—”
“You think the wild cares whether you’re prepared? Or a goblin? Or a mountain liliion? It has claimed many an unsuspecting adventurer like you, and you are certainly not built to be the exception! You are lucky I’m giving you a week at all!”
He twirled his coat around. He was going already?!
“Better not stew now,” he tossed over his shoulder, “you get exactly one shot at this… farce of a procedural exception before having to take the test for real at the appropriate age.”
"If East Gate is so undesirable," Piper said, "then why did the Guild change the rules for our sake? Why did they allow us to take the test so early if they didn't see anything in us?"
The man stopped at the courtyard’s threshold.
"Y'know, those were the exact words I asked my receptionist before she shrugged and waved me out the door. Funny, that."
He walked off without waiting for a response.
Calilah let out a long breath. "I shouldn't be surprised you already knew that man."
Just who was this guy?! In the span of about two minutes, this asshole managed to not only make me second-guess everything I’d done up until this point but changed the air from jubilation to dread.
Even Martha sighed. "A few years working for the Guild and these middle managers already have a god complex… Reminds me of my younger years."
"Then you understand," I said, hope sparking. "You know how they think. I can talk to them—I can convince—"
"Cotter," Martha interrupted. "I agree with him."
Silence.
"You… what?"
Martha sighed. "Call me old. Call me a coward. But experience tells me all I need to know." I could tell that the memories were flashing across her mind as we spoke. "I know you’re running out of time. I know what’s at stake. But you have to be alive to make any of it matter.
“Adventuring with only three months of proper training—if that—has led to the deaths of too many idealists. I will never forget the faces of the children left behind. There was a reason why the Sunlight Kingdom had to put in the restrictions that they did."
“I know the risks,” I said. “But if we always wait until we’re ready...”
“Cotter… please.”
“No, you don’t understand. You don’t have to believe me, but I’ve read those self-help books—hundreds of them. I trained myself for this. Subconscious mind rewiring, neuroplastic goal setting, manifestation-based action orientation. It’s all real, Martha. I’ve felt it. When you act like the future is already yours, the universe adjusts. It aligns. That’s how it works.”
She blinked. “Cotter—”
“I’ve visualised success so vividly it hurts. When I envisioned success in university, job hunting, at work, it didn’t matter: I eventually achieved it. I’ve already lived the victory a thousand times in my head. That means it’s mine. The timeline just has to catch up.”
…
“Nothing I can say will change your mind,” Martha said. “So all I’ll impart is this: if, not when, you make a mistake, just know I will be here, waiting for you.”
Martha walked off soon after, leaving me and my friends in the dust.
\\
The next day, as you could expect, started off rather depressing.
“Hooliphants… Hooliphants. But that’s too complicated to stitch in any reasonable amount of time…”
I scrubbed the charcoal over the linen over the hapless hope that starting again will somehow yield me new insight into product design.
It’s hard, having to design something without any prior research done on what people crave for in this fantasy world. It’s not like I could ask the adults in the orphanage; they haven’t been to the Capital in years.
After Calilah left for the day, I retreated into my room to escape from reality. The world of business was both the source of my woes and the devil I knew.
That proctor was one I definitely didn’t know.
“Cotter?”
I turned around at a familiar voice.
“What’s up, Piper?” I said tiredly.
“I understand that you’re a different person after the kidnapping, but throwing yourself into work like this is not good for you. No matter how earnest you make it seem.”
“You know me too well.”
“I feel like I don’t know you enough.” She slithered right by me and winked. “But I do know you are in need of a lamia hug. And a massage.”
I closed my eyes. “You got me.”
She proceeded to wrap me. I could feel her tail muscles working her way up my spine, feeling for any weakness, then all of a sudden tensing up.
I heard so many air pockets pop and muscles start to relax. “O-Oh, mannnn.”
“What did you think of Uriel’s plan to get us ‘exam-ready’? I still cannot believe Daisy is coming along…”
Ah, that’s right. Immediately after Calilah left, Uriel demanded we talk out a plan. As usual when it comes to Uriel, she was both the workshop facilitator, the minute taker, and the participant all at once. Hint: we didn’t really get a choice on what our training regiment might entail.
“But I want Daisy to come. We need a healer.”
“I know…” Piper sucked her cheeks in, doing her damned best to make herself as cute as humanly possible. Go away, bad thoughts, away! “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
She continued to massage me for a good while before Piper broke the silence.
“I have a confession to make.”
I opened one eyelid. “What’s up?”
“For days now, I’ve been beating around the bush, acting like a scared little girl—without realizing I was the amazing and formidable Piper. So a serious conversation like this shouldn’t bother me so here goes…”
Piper cleared her throat.
“Do you find me at all appealing?”
The answer was obvious. “Of course. You spend ages doing your make-up on and getting ready for the day. I also overhear conversations all the time from other boys…”
“I didn’t mean it like that, I mean… am I appealing to you?”
…
Oh god.
Please sign in to leave a comment.