The Conspiracy Comes for Us All, Pt. 2

“...No.”

…

[SALARYMAN STATUS SCREEN]

[Piper] Reputation gain! +50

...

...Why didn't it go down?

Piper clicked her tongue. “Ah.”

While I enjoyed the nature of this confession and the fact she was acting so mature about this, there was something else in the tone of her voice. I can’t explain it, but it felt that this conversation served a different purpose to her than at the outset.

“Then you prefer the wiles of Daisy,” she said, interrupting my thoughts.

“I don’t prefer anyone right now,” I said firmly. “Not with everything going on.”

It was true. Both she and Daisy were gorgeous in their own ways, but how was I supposed to explain that I was actually a twenty-three-year-old cosplaying as a fifteen-year-old elf?

Piper clearly wasn’t thinking about age—not that she could even guess the truth—but I couldn’t afford for her to start.

“...So there’s a chance,” she said anyway. Then she proceeded to shoot finger guns at me. “Don’t worry, I am willing to work for it. I just have to win you over.”

“Piper… seriously, what do you see in me?”

“This whole ‘I’ll do whatever it takes for the orphanage’ thing you’ve got going on. Altruism in general looks good on boys. And that’s coming from someone who’s been trained to know what works…”

“What does being ‘trained’ even mean, Piper?!”

“Oops.” Piper slapped herself for some reason. “Hey, we really should get going and start physically training~!

I’m never getting a straight answer from her, am I?

Altruism looks good on boys.

Not sure if that was a compliment, a tactic, or just Piper being Piper… but my mind wandered to the toy corner in the orphanage’s common room.

Maybe… maybe I could put together little sewing kits. Felt, buttons, simple instructions. Where the orphanage could “make” a toy without lifting a finger for the hard parts. I’d have the bases cut, pieces ready. They’d just stitch the last seam or pop in the stuffing.

“Piper, you are a genius!”

“I… am?”

\\

“I cannot believe Uriel told us to meet here!” I complained. “How has no one noticed your hole yet, by the way?”

“I have my ways,” Piper grinned.

“Did it have to be in the miserable cold, though…?”

We were trekking through Piper’s hidden escape into the outside world.

The plan today was to practice against some hostile wolves. When I brought up my reasonable question about how Uriel could guarantee we weren't about to go up against orcs and goblins (like the guards were struggling with), Piper simply shrugged and said she'd been out practicing countless times.

A few more minutes of trekking later, we made it to the base of ‘East Gate’s tallest tree’. Apparently, this is the ‘being able to tell directions’ part of Uriel’s course. And, she couldn’t stress enough: it was top 3 skills an adventurer must develop.

“There you are.” Daisy’s tone could have curdled milk. “And Piper, late to the occasion as always? How uncharacteristic.”

“I’m so not hearing this from you of all people!” Piper shot back. “The only reason I bother with you is because of Cotter. Otherwise, you’re just some little recluse who can’t stand being around people.”

“Well, I’m here now, aren’t I?” Daisy countered with her usual coolness. “And stalker much? I cannot believe you followed us into a trash room. You’re obsessed.”

“Sorry, this delay is all on me,” I cut in sheepishly. “I had to jot down an idea for Martha’s production line before I forgot.”

Piper suddenly lit up. “And it’s actually genius. Parents get to feel like they’re giving kids something ‘useful’ to do, the kids feel good once they sew it together—and we can eventually phase out Moonboxes, thank the gods.”

Daisy looked at me differently. “Always working, huh?”

“Hey, it’ll be worth it,” I smiled.

Daisy’s face flushed red. “Fool.”

Uriel clapped her hands once. “OKAY! We seem to be straying from the task at hand! Let’s go find ourselves some wolves and be back before nightfall!”

I also forgot to mention that Martha does not know any of this was happening. The ensuing spankings will be legendary if we don’t get back on time!

“So that guy wouldn’t shut up about ‘the real world’ or whatever, right? I think we need to honor that advice. My bet is that he will bring us outside,” Uriel said. “Despite my repeated attempts to convince Piper to stop venturing outside the safety of the town walls, her foolish habits have allowed us this unique opportunity to acquire some real world experience.”

God, Uriel, too much corpo-speak!

Suddenly, Daisy stiffened. She wasn’t looking at me anymore. “Wait… she’s coming?”

I turned to see… Engelklein?

Engelklein hugged the side of the passage we made.

Why did she want anything to do with us? We gave her an incredibly… hostile welcome, after all.

“I… I want to help,” Engel stammered. “I know I can do it. I need to pay back what I’ve taken!”

I’m already getting flashbacks to Daisy’s outbursts with Martha with her and Piper.

My mother’s old line floated up anyway: you trust first, you live with it later.

“Welcome aboard,” I said.

Engel blinked, as if she hadn’t rehearsed me saying yes. Then her face cracked into a tiny, ridiculous victory routine—two stiff pumps of her fists, a hop that squeaked the snow.

"YESS!!"

Piper pounced before the second hop landed.

“Oh, so Engel gets free meals and we get babysitting duty now?” Piper planted herself between Engel and the rest of us.

“I-I don’t need babysitting!” Engel protested.

“Yes; babysitting you from trying to kill me because of my damn race.”

Engel squared her shoulders, then realized she’d squared them at Piper the Very Big Lamia and immediately half-unsquared them again.

All the telltale signs of a bad group project were forming!

All throughout school, college, work—it didn’t matter. Even if every individual component of a group were historically good at their jobs, if the team couldn’t deliver, the end-product will never ever be good.

A familiar pressure slid under my ribs. The thing that lined and smoothed edges, tugged the right lever for many encounters I’ve had thus far. My salaryman power!

~SALARYMAN POWER ACTIVATED: GROUP COHESION~

A new power?!

A tendril of light from my body suddenly surged forward, making a straight beeline for Daisy! Her eyes widened in alarm, but it was so fast she couldn’t escape.

She doubled over when it hit her!

Daisy’s eyes flicked to me as she recovered. “What is this power?! It feels... I feel in control!”

So it wasn’t just a little thing in my head to keep me sane in a fantasy world. It was a tangible metaphysical power tied only to me because of my past?!

But why did the blue link only go to Daisy? Why did only Daisy get it?

“Why did only Daisy get it?!” Piper helpfully emphasized. 

All of a sudden, however, Piper stopped. “Did the birds just shut up or is it just me?”

Snow-sound swallowed the clearing. Indeed, we only heard our breathing.

“Wolves don’t make the birds go quiet…”

Daisy’s fingers tightened.. “Do. Not. Move.”

What was going on?!

An orc shouldered out of the trees, bigger than any I’d seen. Crude iron, with their frost-slick tusks. More shapes heaved behind it, fanning wide across the drifted white.

If the mysteriously homicidal conspirators wanted chaos now that the dragon was gone, orcs were the blunt instrument. And they were marching on East Gate.

Was that an orc chief staring right at us?

Yes, yes, it was.

We hadn’t killed anything before—not even a goblin—and the warband’s leader had us dead centre in his eyeline.

A raiding party. And we’d picked today to train outside.

Talk about bad luck.

A javelin thunked into the snow at my boots. Another hissed past Daisy into the roots of the tall tree.

Uriel didn’t shout. She breathed one word, very calm. “Run.”

Daisy cut across her. “We won’t outrun them.”

“What?” One of the only times I heard Uriel as any less than composed!

“Trust me—we won’t. My memories say we won’t.”

“Khara merde! Why now of all times?” Piper narrowed her slitted eyes squarely at Engel. “The timing is mighty suspicious, is it not?”

"I think this was just one sad coincidence..." Daisy countered.

“T-they’re closing!” Engel squeaked. “Optics read three hundred meters and counting!”

Piper grimaced. “Cotter… whatever ‘power’ you gave Daisy, you better be able to find a way to give it to the rest of us too!”

The chief lifted his spear.

A low horn rolled through the trees.

“Because otherwise…”

Dozens of javelins tilted our way and the sky went dark with heavy iron.

“We are well and truly done for.”

Soon, the ground sprayed with weapons of all kinds!

We braced ourselves for their charge.

…But they didn’t come.

Instead, we heard the sound of laughter. A masculine babble of wet and gurgling. Then, more followed in their chieftain’s footsteps. Some even pointed at us.

They didn’t want to fight us… because they thought we weren’t worthy of it?

Then they left us alone.

“Cotter! They’re heading for the town!” Engelklein’s voice cracked, her mechanical wings rattling with panic. “Two minutes from the gates—if we don’t stop them, it’s—”

“It will be a bloodbath,” Uriel finished.

That was all it took.

We bolted.

\\

“Guards! Help! Guards!” Piper’s voice rang out as we burst into sight of the watchtower.

One of the sentries leaned lazily over the railing, squinting down. “Oh, hey Piper! Fancy seeing you here. Don’t usually get rostered on during berry-picking season anymo… wait, this isn’t berry-picking season. What are you doing out here then?”

“Sorry, Tomas!” she shot back. “More urgent matters abound!”

“R-Right, what’s the issue—?”

Piper thrust her clawed finger up the road.

“That!!”

A wave of green crested over the hill.

“Holy shi—” Tomas’s words died as his face drained of colour. “HORNS! SOUND THE HORNS!!”

The blaring alarm followed.

The sound of metal jingles eventually filled the space behind me, the horde had already emerged from the treeline.

“What the hell!” I heard one guard say. “The dragon wasn’t enough?!”

The goblins’ horns soon bellowed.

We didn’t even get the chance to steel ourselves when the orcish horde decided to charge!