The Cracks She Leaves

The sun was uncharacteristically warm for late autumn, casting soft gold over Nightfall Academy’s gardens. Students dotted the lawns, sprawled across blankets or leaning under ivy covered arches. Their books and parchment scattered like fallen leaves. Others were eagerly getting into cars, ready to go to town to get some new clothes or relax.

From a distance, it looked idyllic. The perfect picture of an academic lifestyle. Though, it would only be in days time where most of us would have to be dispatched on expeditions for some of the more on hand experience dealing with the creatures of darkness.

Daren and Historia walked in front of us, while Estel and I walked behind them as they tried to find the perfect spot to study. Darren, of course, had claimed a shaded spot beneath one of the older oaks for us. The kind whose gnarled branches seemed to reach for the spires above. Its golden leaves cascading around the courtyard, coloring it in red and yellow hues.

Historia sat beside him, her posture ever the prime example of a noble, even on the grass. Her silver hair glowing against the sunlight. Estel and I joined them last, spreading our class notes across the blanket in an attempt to look more studious than we felt.

For a while, it was almost peaceful. We reviewed incantations, compared notes, even shared snacks we had gotten from the school's store. I was almost beginning to think this was what normal student life could feel like.

Then Darren leaned back with a groan. “This spell work is impossible. I swear they make it deliberately convoluted to keep us from outshining the professors.”

Historia laughed lightly, brushing her hand against his arm. “You exaggerate. It’s not that difficult. You’re the top of the class Mr. Humble. I, on the other hand, seem to be struggling with this fire spell…”

Well yeah, no one corrects Darren. But only because no one wants to make him look dumb… I thought a bit spitefully before noticing Estel shift over to Historia.

Estel glanced at her notes, brow furrowing. “Actually, if you adjust the pronunciation here, it becomes much simpler.” His voice was calm, measured, as he leaned over to point at the margin of her parchment. “ We say ‘Fuego’ the first part as if you’re pronouncing food, the ‘e’ part like saying elbow, and go as in… well… go.”

I followed his lead, adding, “Yes. Look, it flows better if you pronounce it the way Estel-.”

For a heartbeat, Historia froze. Then, sharper than I’d ever heard from her, she snapped, “I know how to pronounce spells, you two.”

The words cut through the air like a blade. Estel’s lips parted, as if he might defend himself, but the words never came. His gaze dropped, and he slowly withdrew his hand. My stomach dropped. And then, as quickly as the mask had slipped, Historia softened. She blinked, her expression melting back into the all familiar calmness, her lips curving in a smile that could have fooled anyone else that she hasn’t said something so harsh. “Forgive me,” she said, voice gentle tone again. “I’m only tired. I didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

Darren waved it off with a chuckle. “You’re allowed to be snappy, Historia. God knows I’d have thrown my quill right now if it weren't for Estel and Rosaria.” He reached for a grape, utterly unbothered.

Historia smoothed her skirt, folding her hands neatly in her lap. “After our expedition, I suppose my patience is thinner than usual.”

That caught my attention. “You mean when you two left to the town over for the monster outbreak?”

She nodded, almost modest despite the distress in her eyes. “Yes. The village was overrun with creatures. Many more than reported. But Darren and I handled it. The people were very grateful, they even offered us food.”

Darren smirked, tossing a grape into his mouth. “Handled is putting it lightly. They didn’t stand a chance once we got there.They’re probably cowering in fear now after that.”

Historia tilted her head, the very picture of composure. “Still, I fear it will not be the last time. The frequency of such appearances has been increasing. We should all be prepared.”

Her words hung there, as if reminding us of the Dragon legend mentioned in class. But I couldn’t help glancing at Estel. His expression was polite, but his eyes were distant, his shoulders set in quiet resignation. I knew what he was thinking… that compared to them, he had no role. The king didn’t really call him much for expeditions, since they said they always needed someone on standby in case something went awry.

Historia’s voice broke the silence. “At least today we can rest. One of our very few free days before the expeditions next week..”

Darren stretched, already half-bored with the discussion. “And thank the gods for that. I plan on sleeping until I’m dragged to class. I’m already tired from the one we went to.”

I tried to smile, but the earlier sharpness in Historia’s voice still clung to me. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe I was reading too much into it. But I was the only one unsettled.

We continued to study until it seemed like Darren had fallen asleep on the picnic blanket. We decided to call it off for the day and decided to go to lunch. “Are you coming with us, Historia?” Estel asked.

I looked over and froze. Historia has already moved Darren to be more comfortable, making her lap his pillow. I could see the hint of sadness in Estel’s eyes, and I tried to keep myself together. I clenched my fists in my lap. I couldn’t say anything, not when all she’d done was slip a couple of times. But my patience was wearing thin. If Historia really was the same from ‘His Amour’… then I was running out of time.

“I… I just want to make sure his highness isn’t by himself when he wakes up. You two can go on ahead.” Historia said.

I could see the light dim in Estel’s eyes as he took a breath. “If you say so.”

The awful feeling knotted my stomach, and I walked over to Estel. “Come on Estel, let's get some food before the dining hall gets crowded.”

He looked over at me and nodded, like a wounded puppy dog that had been kicked. It hurt seeing him this way. And, I guess, I equally felt as hopeless as him. When I didn’t even know how to stand up for him, or myself. But, one thing was for sure. The moment I find out Historia isn’t as gentle or as kind as she seemed, I’m dragging Estel away from her.

When we got in line for our food, Estel looked around the dining hall. “Rosaria, you should go and find a table for us to sit at. If we wait until we get our food, there might not be any seating for us.” he said.

“Sure…” I nodded. I’m sure he just wanted to silently reflect on his pain, like he always does.

I slipped into an empty seat near the tall gothic windows, sitting down to reserve the spot for both of us. I saw that Estel had finally gotten to the serving area, ordering food. I didn’t argue, or want to, in that matter with him. I knew that scene with Historia probably hurt him the most. Not to mention, the place was already crowded, and if we waited too long, there wouldn’t be a single table left.

Sunlight spilled in through the glass panes, scattering gold across the long wooden tables and polished floors. From where I sat, I could see the courtyard clearly seeing Historia with Darren’s head still on her lap. My stomach twisted. Why did I sit here of all places? As if the scene earlier wasn’t already a punch in the gut…

I was about to get up and move when some shadows fell across the table.

“Well, well. Rosaria Drewitt,” a girl’s voice sang, all honey and venom.

I glanced up to see three girls blocking me in. Their uniforms were sharp with black cloaks… Dark Magic division.. They looked like the kind of aristocrats who never let you forget their bloodlines. They didn’t bother to sit. They just circled me like I was prey. Seems like Nightfall has its share of mean girls…

“Saving a seat for Estel, are you?” one of them sneered. “Pathetic. As if clinging to him or the others will make you matter.”

Another giggled into her hand. “Everyone knows Historia’s the only reason you’re still here. Without her, you’re nothing. That’s why you got shoved off the boat, isn’t it? Because you’re just dead weight.”

My pulse hammered. “That’s not true,” I said quickly, my voice smaller than I wanted it to be. Just who were these girls anyways? “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, but we do.” The third girl leaned closer, her perfume strong enough to make me gag. “Historia has to act like she’s kind to you, because you’re ‘childhood friends’. If she didn’t, no one would question why you’re still here. You’re a charity case.”

I pushed my chair back, trying to stand. I was frankly getting fed up by their cheesy and cliche mean girl act. Oh Amor, if you were here… I would scold you for these types of characters in your world… “Is that so? And who told you? Historia? If she wanted to be a charity, maybe tell her to be part of the general Magic division, we heal people on a daily basis for a good cause.”

They only laughed, sharp and cruel. My throat closed. I wanted to shout at them, and just shove past them. But, I also wasn’t exactly sure what they planned on doing, seeing as i didn’t even know these girls. Right now would be a good time to get all of Rosaria’s old memories, like your typical reincarnation story…

“That’s enough.” Estel’s voice cut through like tempered steel. He appeared behind them, balancing two trays with practiced ease. His eyebrows furrowed, and his heterochromatic eyes were steady, hard.

He seemed calm, but I noticed his grip on the trays made his knuckles white. He was probably feeling uncomfortable being out of his comfort zone by standing up for me “If you’re done wasting time, leave.”

The girls faltered, their confidence cracking. One mumbled “We’re just joking… Yeesh." Then they slunk off to another table, their whispers following them like snakes.

I exhaled shakily as Estel set a tray in front of me: roasted quail glazed with honey, a small wheel of cheese, warm bread rolls, and a crystal cup of fresh berry juice. He’d chosen something similar for himself. The academy always served meals like a noble’s banquet, no matter how much the students groaned about it. “Thanks, Estel.”

“You’re welcome. Also, don’t mind them,” Estel said softly as he sat down, his gaze fixed somewhere past my shoulder. “They’re jealous, most likely. None of us would ever consider you a burden Rosaria.”

Estel had defended me… finally. But in the end, his thoughts weren’t with me at all. Just like in every version of the story I’d read, his eyes belonged to her. Living it, watching it happen right in front of me. It hurts so much worse than reading words on a page. And gods, it burned. The curse of loving a fictional character come to life..

I picked at my bread, blinking hard to keep the tears from welling up. Estel had defended me… finally.. But in the end, his thoughts weren’t with me at all. Just like all other versions of Estel, his eyes were only on Historia… and that ached more than anything…

“Right..” I said, my voice almost croaking, though, he was lost in his own misery to notice.

It burned… That ache of loving someone who would never turn his gaze my way.