Sticks and Inspirations

Haruto sat on a padded bench on the tailor’s wall with spools of fabric hanging above. He held Yggdrasil up as if inspecting it. For the first time since stepping into this insane world, he actually had a real moment to breathe.

He knew the barest of things about Yggdrasil. It clearly had a personality and a job, and with it, its own skills. This was a chance to finally examine it and find out what they were.

He started by searching his own menus, from his personal to his Stick Hero profile. The best he could find was an inventory screen. He was apparently equipped with a set of tattered business clothes in his chest and leg armor slots, while his right arm was the "Bracer of Yggdrasil," and his weapon was the Holy Blade Yggdrasil itself.

Clicking on them gave him a basic description. The bracer was essentially the vines that grew from his arm and allowed Yggdrasil to locate Haruto and fly to him. Yggdrasil's inventory information, however, only went as far as mentioning that it is a unique weapon for the Stick Hero.

“…Hey, System,” Haruto said slowly. “What can you tell me about Yggdrasil? It's obviously special. I kind of put it together that I made it into this, but how did I do it?”

"Hmm, how do I put this?" The System pondered the correct way to explain it, almost as if he thought Haruto was too dumb to understand. "Your Stick Hero job comes from your experience playing pretend. Well, in your imagination, you had a special stick that was a holy weapon. When you found this stick, your imagination imprinted onto it, making it a magic item."

"Is that normal?" Haruto asked.

"Not at all." It snapped quickly. "Magic items are basically just items with a special job. Usually they are specially made by someone that can use magic, like the clothes you are having made."

"So how can I find out what Yggdrasil can do?" Haruto asked. "I can't find it in my stuff anywhere."

"Of course you can't. You can only see other people's jobs if they open their menu for you." The System rolled its eye, like this was common sense.

"Yeah. Remember when I was looking at yours?" Aki said, rubbing some cloth between her fingers.

"That was very rude of her, by the way. You shouldn't let her get away with that." The System chimed.

"Yeah, yeah... So I can't see Yggdrasil's menu?" Haruto asked once more.

"Don't ignore what I just said!" The System sighed heavily. "Have you asked it?"

Haruto opened his mouth to do just that. He didn't need to finish a single syllable before the menu was open in front of him. Before him was Yggdrasil's personal profile. It looked practically the same, with some minor changes.

Name: Yggdrasil                           Age: 30 Hours                       Job: Holy Blade Yggdrasil Lvl 3

Durability: 30                               MP: 100                                  Element: Physical

Damage Modifier: +3                  Magic: 3

Passives:

Regrowth: Regains 20% of it's durability every second. Regrows to it's original form after 5 minutes when broken.

Fire Weakness: Regrowth is nullified for 1 minute upon taking fire damage.

Sentience: Yggdrasil has it's own mind and personality.

Personal Skill:
Self Manipulation: Telekinetically manipulates self, allowing for autonomous movement.

"Could I see the job page next?" Haruto asked politely.

Holy Blade Yggdrasil Lvl 3

A unique, vaguely sword-shaped stick, usable only by the Stick Hero.

Magic: Healing Light 5 MP/s
Heal a target for 3 times your magic per second.

Active Skill: Redirect Magic
Redirect incoming magic energy through itself to another destination. Yggdrasil's durability must hold out against the source, or this skill fails.

"Wait a second!" Haruto squinted. “How come it can use magic, but I can't?”

"How many times do you need to be told this?" The System shouted. “You don’t ‘learn’ magic. You’re born with a personal spell, if at all. Like Rodney’s ‘Inlay,’ or Aki’s ‘Pestel.’”

"I'm sorry! I just don't want to accept that answer because it crushes one of my dreams!" Haruto shouted.

"Well, there is a way to get magic, but... it's basically impossible." Aki said, wrapping herself in a length of light purple cotton.

"How's that?" Haruto straightened his bad posture.

"You would need to eat an Ellw eye." She replied, her hair beginning to frizz.

“Well, that's out!” Haruto said, yelping as Aki zapped him with static from the fabric. “Did you just shock me?!”

Aki blinked innocently. “Maybe?”

"Do it again. Maybe he'll combust." The System laughed, perching on Aki's shoulder.

“Wait a second...” Haruto grumbled, rubbing the sore spot. But then, an idea formed in his mind.

He stood up and wandered over to the spool of purple cotton that Aki had just been wrapped in. As he ran his hand back and forth across it, he could hear the popping of static electricity. His hair frizzed, and he poked Aki with a small zap.

“Can we get some of this cotton?” Haruto asked, scheming. "Or something that generates a lot of static?"

"I guess we could pick up a woolermelon when we're done with everything." Aki said, rubbing her arm.

The System tilted in the air like a confused dog. “Why are you wanting that?”

“You're going to see me do magic.” Haruto muttered, a small grin tugging at his lips. “At least, it'll look like magic.”

Before the two could ask more, a sudden horn blasted through the streets. Citizens ran toward the sound, driven by curiosity. Guards were at the ready, sectioning off large portions of the street to keep people from getting too close.

The System zipped to the front window, peeking outside. Its glow dimmed. “…Oh. Oh, no.”

Haruto pushed up, Yggdrasil in hand. “What now?”

From the street came a guttural chorus of shrill, nagging voices:

“Bring out the pretty one!”
“He must do the duty of the males he slaughtered!”
“We demand oil and costumes to go with him!”

"Oh, look! You have a fan club." The System joked, raising its non-existent eyebrow.

Haruto’s blood ran cold at the thought of the job that shall remain nameless gaining experience. He peered through the window and down the street. About twenty or so Gob-uh-ladies, armed to the teeth, had come for him.

“Oh, come on… Why can't I just get a break?" Haruto said, falling to his hands and knees.

"Harem protagonists don't get breaks." The System said in a lilting and mocking tone. "They get the oil!"

"I refuse to be a harem protagonist!" Haruto cried, frantically opening his job list. His eyes widened as he got yet another stupid idea.