Chapter Sixty Two: First Love

I don’t know how I got home that day. I woke up and found myself in my room. It was dead in the middle of the night and the rain was pouring like crazy.
“What was all that?” was it all but a dream? 
It wasn’t a dream. It was definitely reality. But it was something supernatural which could only be read in fiction. This is a fantasy world where possibilities meet probabilities. I witnessed all that a while ago.
How can it be possible? The existence of such a being shouldn’t be possible even in a fantasy world. Is she a goddess who came down in this world? It can only be that. 
I can still feel her scent. The feel of her body……. it feels as though my whole body is enveloped in an incredibly soft matter. But that’s just a feeling. Lust is nowhere near me at this moment. It feels so lonely…… my heart feels so lonely.
What’s this feeling in my heart? I’ve never felt anything like it before. The feeling of longing for someone not just sexually but emotionally as well. I want to see her. I wanted to see her again from the moment I opened my eyes.
I didn’t even get the chance to ask any of the things I wanted to ask. I was so captivated that I let her do all the talking.I feel so relaxed and weak at the same time.
Lust was her name and the name deserved her. 
Lust appeared all over in my dreams. I could see nothing but her. Everything in the dream felt so real for some reason.
It was raining outside at the time I woke up. The rain was pouring and the wind was strong. I covered myself up with a blanket and got back to sleep.
Morning came but I couldn’t get out of bed. My body was so weak and I was very hungry. It was hard to imagine having how I was able to live through that. 
What is wrong with me? Have I gone crazy just like how everyone else becomes after making contact with her?
The rain had let up but the sun wasn’t out. It was bound to continue raining anytime soon. 
Glancing over at my foot, my eyes met with Duddul’s. he was laying on the floor looking at me.
“Duddul…………” it’s been a while since I really rode on him. I cant go to the dungeon with him and yesterday was a different story. He wouldn’t be able to get near Lust to begin with.
When the succubi came for me. I made Meila angry by going with them. I told Duddul to wait for me when I followed them without eating breakfast.
“You are something else. I’ve never seen a person who can fly before.” Baera acted surprised when I flew just like they did. 
They wanted to fly while carrying me when I told them I can do it as well. It turned into a race because Baera wanted to know who was faster. Aera humored her because of her competitiveness. They didn’t look like demons at all. In fact I wouldn’t be able to tell they are demons just by their actions alone.
A while later, we arrived at the area two kilometer radius of Lust’s house. The landscape there was totally different. Waterfalls and big hills were all over the place.
I was able to see the house’s design and how big it was. Shortly after that, I found myself sitting in the large hall where Lust was. I didn’t enter the house through the door. It was something like teleportation. I got pulled inside before I touched the barrier.
I’ve never seen nor heard of anyone like her before. She is the embodiment of lust.
I repeated a circle of sleeping and waking throughout the day. Each time I awoke, it was due to a dream about Lust. All my thoughts became solely about her. 
It was tiring. I tried preventing myself from going back to sleep when I woke up in the night. I was in bed since the night before.
I didn’t do anything productive at all. I didn’t even feed myself. Meila hasn’t entered my room as well. Even if she did, maybe it was while I slept. But I’m sure she didn’t. it seemed like Duddul went out of the room often in that time. Meila must have fed him when he left.
What kind of master am I to him right now? This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be at all. I feel as though my life has been poisoned by Lust. 
Laying in bed wastefully, I felt a gentle hold on my shirt from behind. Is that Meila?
“What’s wrong……? what did she do to you? This isn’t like you.” 
She was laying in bed right next to me. That was the first time she laid on my bed since we moved here.
“Aren’t you hungry? I made something for you.”
I couldn’t believe it. Meila cooked for me? It cant be anything good. But I was so hungry I could eat anything. 
I sat up in bed and looked at her. Meila brought the food tray and placed it on my lap like an obedient wife.
Is she worried about me? That can be the only reason she’s acting so nice like this.
“Haaa……..” I opened my mouth like a baby. It was my way of asking her to feed me.
Strangely enough, she picked up the fork and coiled around the noodles. She then slowly moved the fork to my mouth. I was so surprised that I didn’t know what to do.
She fed me the whole plate without saying a thing. It was as though she was nursing a sick person.
I drank some water after that. Meila took away the tray and placed it below the bed.
I got sleepy all of a sudden. I once again laid flat and was about to sleep when the strangest thing happened. Meila did the same as well.
Does she plan on sleeping with me? Is she that worried? But she didn’t come to see me when I returned.
I laid on my back looking at the ceiling. Meila was on her left side. She moved so close to me and firmly held my right arm in her hand.
“Ouch!” I felt a sharp pain when she held it.
Could it be? 
I didn’t get to see it earlier because I didn’t feed myself. I sat up once again pulling my hand away from her. 
To my surprise, big scars like veins covered most of my arm. The scars were in the places where those red lines appeared when my hand was engulfed by her chest.
To think deep scars like these would remain………. is this the price I paid for touching her?
Meila saw the scars as well. She looked at me with painfully sad eyes.
“Please…………. Don’t see her again!” she jumped up in tears and hugged my neck.
“W-Wh………….?” 
“I beg of you, please don’t go to her again. She’s too dangerous even for you…….” tightly hugging me, she continued to cry like a baby. 
It seems she was really worried about me all this while. The reason she didn’t come sooner might have been to show her anger but she let all that go when she thought something happened to me.
“I’m sorry Meila. Sorry for making you worry.” she cried so sadly I almost felt like crying as well.
“I………. I don’t want you to apologize to me……. promise me that you’ll never see her again!”
“Promise…………?”
Promise that I’ll never see Lust again? That’s impossible. Even in this moment, my mind is occupied with thoughts of her. I want to see her so badly. Can I make a promise like that when I know I cant keep it?
“Promise me…………~” she continued to cry nonstop.
Nothing I said was able to calm her down.
“Okay………….. I promise.” if it meant that she would stop crying, I was willing to do anything.”

The next morning was made a general cleaning day. It was about time we did a little cleaning of the house and Meila helped out too.
From the living room to the empty rooms to the bathrooms, we cleaned everything. The equipment we needed were all in the storage room. I was really surprised to find Meila good at cleaning. It was the one thing she was ever good at.
After that, I washed my black gear and changed into the clothes Meila got for me. I didn’t think washing clothes would be so troublesome, the gear stiffened up like metal plate when I immersed it in water. I could literally hear them scream.
No one told me I wasn’t supposed to wash a demon lord’s cloak. I had no choice but to wash them since they were dirtied during my encounter with Lust. If you know what I mean that is.
Today Meila cooked breakfast. She still thought I was sick so she took the initiative in doing some of the daily tasks. She was then one who suggested the general cleaning as well.
I don’t hate living my days here like this, but there is something in me that has changed ever since I met Lust. I cant get her thoughts out of my head. And there is still the thing about Meila. Just because she told me to forget about her doesn’t actually mean that I’ve given up on her.The whole reason I’ve been going to the dungeon is to get stronger. If I want to rescue Leila then I should at least come up with a way to defend myself against those guards in the sacred land. Why is it that I cant fight the people here anyway? Am I really supposed to be some kind of hero?
That aside, the scars on my hand are really something else. From my fingers to some part of my right shoulder, they are everywhere. You wouldn’t think I got them from just touching someone. 
For the rest of the day, we played around with some games and jokes. I think it was the first time I actually spent that much time talking to Meila. All I did before was go to the dungeon while leaving her at home. Even when we spent days with Taht, I barely talked to her like a real friend should. My relationship with her started off as the kind in which she became a nuisance and I tried avoiding her.
I continued seeing her like that even after we started living together and sharing many memories together. Why did I continue treating her like that? I should have thought of her in the same way I thought of Leila. Well not in the same way but I should have at least opened up to her a lot more than I have until now.
Thinking about it, I have spent more time with Meila and have gotten to know her a lot more than I did Leila. I’ve always been chasing after Leila ignoring Meila who is close to me. But can you blame me? Without Leila being there for me in the beginning, I wouldn’t have gained all these memories and fun times I’m having right now. 
The same could be said about Milta. I wonder what she is up to right now. 
Leila has become an irreplaceable friend to me. She holds a dear position in my heart. My heart………?
What kind of position does Leila hold in my heart? I’ve never calmly thought about it before. Why have I been chasing after her all this time? Is it because I feel responsible? Something like an obligation? Because I’m indebted to her? Or is it possibly love…….? 
It is love but I doubt it has any romantic feelings involved. I cant explain it, but I just really want to free Leila from the grasps of that bastard noble. It has been my only mission since I came to know about it.
And speaking of love, what is this alien feeling I feel in my heart? It feels as though my heart no longer belongs to me. A whirlpool of emotions that I cant describe. 
I’ve been feeling the same thing ever since I woke up and found myself in my room. It’s as if I didn’t wake up together with my heart. As if I left it back there………. with Lust.
“What are you thinking about seriously?” 
Having finished our tasks, we rested our tired bodies in the living room. I laid in the sofa and Meila laid in the cushion across.
She seemed to be really tired after all that work. 
“Wh………………” hmm……….. I wanted to yell back at her like I usually do but thought it was about time I started talking nicely to her. It’s all her fault that I decided talking in a rude manner with her to begin with.
“I was just thinking about the dungeons. I didn’t think it was possible for adventurers to get captured by second floor monsters is all.”
“.…… That doesn’t happen often. Most adventurers start having troubles in the fifth floor, or so I’ve heard. But there are still those who go in there because they need the money from selling dropped items. They end up getting killed by lower level monsters if they are not careful.”
“By ‘those’ do you mean when people like you decide to become adventurers?”
“It’s not my fault that I’m weak. I was just born that way………. and.. I was a little careless as well. When I realized that my specialty was deception magic, I neglected all other magic and maxed out the one I had. I should have learned a few back then.”
….……? I thought she was going to get mad at me for calling her weak, but she talked as if it didn’t bother her. Maybe we can really let the past go and start off an sarcastic free relationship.
I took the chance to talk to her about a few things I was curious about. Like why the goblins capture adventurers alive and why the green haired elf guy screamed he didn’t want to get raped.
I was kinda surprised by the answer she gave me. I mean come on. It has always been a fact that the females, no matter from which race or world, are the ones who are susceptible to rape. To think it would be the other way around.
Figlo, the elf I rescued explained to me the reason why he ventured into the dungeon. What he didn’t tell me is the reason he thought he was going to be raped.
From what Meila said to me, it seem the monsters in the dungeon aren’t like monsters in games who just appear because of certain codes. These monsters are born just like any other animal. It also seems that their males are actually infertile. As such they are useless when it comes to reproduction. That’s why the capture the males of the races and force them to mate with the females. Children are born after that. And because the females are the only ones responsible for the increase in their societies, they have dominance over the males since they are all their children.
To think such a twisted plot existed in the dungeons. But wouldn’t that mean that most of the goblins there are actually halves of the races? If a human got forced to mate with a female goblin then shouldn’t the goblin be considered half human? Is that why they have a certain degree of intelligence?
But then each time someone kills a goblin, then doesn’t that mean he killed the child of a person from the races? Everything is so twisted I don’t know what to make of it. I originally thought that the monsters appear due to some kind of action by the demon lord and disappear when they are killed. To think that they come about due to reproduction………. it’s suffocating.