31 - Days of Our Verdant Youth (1)

—Boy, our schoolgrounds are actually pretty big, from this height.

That's my only thought, as I fall back down to earth, completing the arc our student council president's uppercut sent me on, and land on the soft grass of our school's soccer field, still wet from the morning dew.

Great.

Grass and mud stains all over my back. Now I'm gonna have to get my school uniform cleaned.

My friends rush to either side of me, helping me up.

"Are you okay, Odd-kun?"

The girl with the poor hygiene you see to my left?

Yeah, that's Valerie. We call her Himacchi, but nobody knows why, exactly.

"Dude, you good?"

And that guy with the glasses, to my right? That's Alex. We've been through thick and thin together during our time together at school. I guess you could call him my best friend. … Not that I'd ever say that out loud.

My world's spinning. I can barely stand.

"How—How did I do?" I ask my friends, slurring my words a bit. "Did I win?"

Valerie—Himacchi—smiles a bit. "Not even close. You got one-shot."

Alex claps me on the back. "You're still alive, that's what matters. We can't have you dying on us—our After-School Slackers Society (abbr. ASSS) needs its leader!"

… Society? … Saya? … ASSS?

Oh. Oh, yes.

Yes, I remember now.

The president of our student council, Saya, wants to disband our club.

Every day she challenges me to a fight. Every day I accept, and now here we are.

Saya walks over to me, and crosses her arms. Scowling, she stands over me. (By the way, I can see up her skirt, but I feel like this is a really bad time to point that out.)

Behind Saya, several feet away, I can see the other half of the student council—her younger twin sister, Kaya, watching anxiously.

I try to laugh, like in a really cool way, but it makes my jaw ache too much, so I stop.

"Well, prez?" I say, defiantly. "You don't have the proper grounds to disband us, so this is the only way you can take out your frustration, isn't it? But I don't mind getting beat up by you every day, so long as it keeps our ASSS alive."

(I had hoped I looked really cool just now, saying all that, and I look to my friends to gauge their reaction, but Alex is on his phone, and Himacchi seems to be distracted by a weird-looking bug in the grass.)

Saya stands there for a bit. She spits on the ground.

Then: "Come on, Kaya. Let's go."

And she walks off, headed in the direction of the school building.

Kaya hesitates for a bit, looking between me and her sister.

Then she runs after Saya, calling, "W-wait up, Onee-chan …"

Alex and Himacchi help brush off as much mud and grass as they can from my school blazer, and before long we hear the morning chime of the school bell.

The three of us make our way over to the main building, talking, laughing, the fight already forgotten, as we look forward to the day.

After all—today is yet another chapter in our ordinary school life, here at Parallax Academy.

I can't wait to see what today has in store, for the members of ASSS!

*

We all take our seats in homeroom.

Here's what the seating arrangement looks like:

[ FRONT ]
X - X - X - O - A - H
X - X - X - X - X - X
(... rows omitted ...)
S - K - X - X - X - X
[ BACK ]

O - Me, duh
H - Himacchi (Valerie)
A - Alex
S - Saya
K - Kaya
X - Other students

As you can see, the members of ASSS sit together in the front row.

Saya and Kaya sit next to each other, with Saya near the back window.

… And if you ask me, it's not exactly the most fitting seat for the student council president. Traditionally, that seat's mostly reserved for bored underachievers who stare out the window and sigh a lot, and then somehow end up helping a bunch of cute girls solve their problems.

… Which you might (understandably) think describes us, what with 'Slackers' in our club title.

But here's the thing:

The ASSS is a club dedicated to enjoying school life!

Our philosophy: we're only young once, so let's live it up while we still can!

We sit in our club room, drink tea, eat sweets, and read manga and play video games.

After all, if you think about it, what's the point of all those other, 'legitimate' extracurricular clubs?

Why join the track team? Why join the school band?

It's to make friends, and have fun. … Right?

Well, why not just skip all of the boring stuff and go straight to the fun part?

And that's precisely what ASSS does.

… Huh.

I guess when you put it that way, we kinda do sound like underachievers.

Okay, fine, maybe we are—but we're really positive about it, so that makes it okay!

The classroom door slides open, and our teacher, Ms Moeka, walks in.

"Good morning, class!"

We stand, bow, and greet Ms Moeka, and sit back down.

As Moeka-sensei takes attendance, Alex leans in, and whispers, "Hey, Odd-kun … Have you ever stopped and wondered how strange it is that our homeroom teacher is a child? I mean, she's clearly a grade-schooler. Why is she teaching a buncha high schoolers?"

I shrug. "Maybe she's one of those super-geniuses."

"If she's a super-genius, she wouldn't be teaching high school, though. … That kind of thing only happens in anime."

I lean back in my chair, hands folded behind my head.

Alex occasionally asks me these questions that make my brain hurt real bad. The solution is pretty simple, though—all I have to do is ignore him, stop thinking, and the pain goes away.

So that's what I do now.

… Or at least that's what I try to do. He's kinda persistent today.

"I mean," says Alex, "look—she can barely see over her own desk. She's barely tall enough to write on the blackboard!"

I humor my trusted confidant and right-hand man at ASSS. "You're right, Alex … You're totally right." I stroke my chin. "… We should get her a step stool."

Alex slaps his hands against the table, in agreement. "YES! That's a great idea! That's why you're the leader, Odd-kun. Let's use our club funds to get a stool for Moeka-sensei." He turns to Himacchi, whispers, "Psst, hey Himacchi … We're gonna go buy—"

THWACK!

"Ow!" yells Alex, rubbing his forehead, at which Moeka-sensei has just thrown a piece of chalk. "That hurt, sensei!"

Ms Moeka stands in front of Alex—(notice how I didn't use 'stands over'; she's too short for that)—with her arms crossed. "No talking in class! In Moeka-sensei's class, you have to pay attention to Moeka-sensei! Got it!?"

"Y-yes, Moeka-sensei …"

The entire class erupts in laughter.

Man. I love school. Every day is so much fun.

I look behind me.

There's just one person stone-faced, among all the laughing faces.

… You already know who I'm talking about.

Our beloved student council president.