Sky-kin Clients!

“How many more solo trips do I have to take?” Sharlotte grumbled, feathers ruffled as she drifted back through the spa gates. A satchel stuffed with gleaming flyers hung from her shoulder like a bag of bricks. Out of all of us, she was the only one with access to Heaven.

“There’s something called repetitive suggestion,” I said, swirling through my hot spring. “It’s classic marketing. A catchphrase, an ad you can’t escape… hammer it long enough and it becomes ingrained in your mind for decades. Normally, we’d need a mountain of Gold to fund it, but luckily, business has been booming. We’ll etch the glory of our Spa right into their celestial psyche.”

“I get the theory, but it’s annoying!!” Sharlotte huffed. “And heavy! At least borrow another Seraph feather or ask the Demon Lord for a spare so I can space-time warp!”

“It is annoying,” I admitted. “That’s why that was your last trip with that many flyers.”

“Uh? Really?!”

“Going too heavy on repetitive suggestions can be dangerous. Insisting that someone try a product over and over is insensitive. In the worst case, it diminishes the perceived value of a product. I would know. Some gacha games are only known because of their spammy ad. Never taking ‘no’ for an answer is a dreadful trait. The best allegory I can think of is… Yeah, an alarm clock that keeps waking you up.”

“I suppose… But that’s not the case for our Spa, right? The Angels are curious. They want to wake up and dive in. It’s that old Father Angel who is clamping down on them. Are you sure we should stop when the finish line is in front of us?”

“I thought you hated these flights?”

“I do, but I’m more offended that you’re making my consistent effort sound pointless!”

“It wasn’t for nothing, Sharlotte. You’ve set the stage perfectly for us.” I grinned. “Now we deploy the most dangerous tactic of all: FOMO. Fear of Missing Out. The lifeblood of every limited-time banner.”

Her feathers twitched. “…Go on.”

“Our recent seasonal spectacle was just the warm-up, our Interspecies Cook-Off, all to build the idea that more once-in-a-lifetime events are always around the corner. But this time we go further. Reverse-psychology FOMO. Rin! Show off our new sign!”

“I can’t believe you made me write this…” Rin admitted as she flashed it. It read: [If no Angel visits, Heaven will be barred from this wonderful new world.]

“No wayyy!” Sharlotte’s halo spun. “That’s the opposite of interspecies peace!”

“Exactly! It’s the same as a dreaded region-lock after a global release.”

“You want me to bring that signage to them? They’ll throw tomatoes at me!”

“They won’t. Trust in the stage you’ve set! Rather than be angry, they’ll panic. And we’ll use this panic to our advantage! We’re not stopping there! Add a flash promotion, half-price entry for the next two hours, to create instant urgency. Then, we sweeten it with affiliate marketing. If a whale brings another whale, even a free-Gem payout is worth it.”

“You’re terrifying, Master…”

“We’re not done. Final stroke: First Purchase Bonus. Clients will receive bonus Gems for their first-ever purchase. This lowers the barrier to spending at our Spa. By offering a significant one-time bonus, we can entice those who may be hesitant to spend money by making the initial transaction seem like a better deal. It also establishes a spending habit, in the sense that once a client makes their first purchase, they’re more likely to continue spending in the future! Gahaha! We’ll introduce the First Purchase Bonus only for the Sky-kin, eventually branching out for all interspecies!”

“I thought you wanted to keep some shred of humanity!”

“And yet, this Labor demands it. This next flyer… Will literally make it impossible for them not to come.”

Steam curled like silver ribbons through the afternoon air, and the first newcomer Angel fell there in the heart of our Spa, to the saunas.

His halo tipped onto the damp wood, rolling away like a wayward coin. Slumping against the wall, wings sagging and feathers slick, he let out a groan that was half-prayer, half-sin. “Ahhh… this heat… it’s too good… too dangerous… It’s corrupting me! Someone… purify me! I can’t believe I feel this good surrounded by interspecies…!”

Outside the sauna booth, the Angel’s brother sounded concerned in the mixed baths. “W-What… what is this sensation?”

“Feel that? That’s my waters purifying you… But it’s not just that, is it?” I flexed my waters against his body, the pressure crushing him between my expanse and the stone rim of the spring. “You can feel me everywhere. There’s no escaping how much of a visionary I am.”

The currents surged tighter as the springs obeyed my words, streams of heated water blasting against him until he whimpered aloud. He tried to hold onto his composure, but his dignity was cracking. “N-No… impossible… I will not be undone by mere water!”

“Don’t fight it, brother!!” Borkas threw a friendly, burly arm around him. “You’re fighting a bout that has no meaning, no reason to be fought! Learn more from us forestfolk! Keep your chin up and enjoy yourself more!”

So began the end of Heaven’s discrimination.

Elsewhere, in the Massage Parlor, a Seraph lay sprawled across a table, her face buried at the headrest. “Mmphh… I-Indeed… it would seem my refined form responds to your uncouth advances… hahhhnn… in ways I cannot control. But if you dare, if you truly intend to fulfill me…” She turned her head, gold halo glinting even as drool streaked her chin. “You had better make it… worthy of a lady of my pedigree.” The Minotaur and Goblin masseuses kneaded her shoulders and back. “Mmmhnn– ahhh– yes… good… perhaps you are not entirely unworthy after all… M-MORE pressure! If this is corruption, let me FALL!”

Rin trembled, clutching her towel. “T-To moan like that in public… to squirm under those hands…”

“Don’t look at her like she’s living your dream!” I snapped. “You have plenty to work with yourself, don’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s shining again!” A Seraph shouted.

“Her glow hasn’t faded…”

“Don’t look! The Silver Saint is too radiant!”

“She’s temptation made holy!” The Sky-kin made a ruckus when they caught sight of her. Holy light still shimmered from Rin’s body, as though the act of stripping away her clothes had awakened something that only they could see.

“Nooo!” Rin flushed with indignation. “I’m not naked! Your pure eyes are playing tricks on you! This outfit is hardly scandalous. If anything, my presence elevates the humblest of spas.”

“Consider the sight of her a gift of my magnanimity.”

“This outfit really is too much!”

By evening, Heaven’s proud delegation resembled festival drunks rather than holy envoys. It didn’t stop at new Angel and Seraph clients either. All Sky-kin were invited. Constellation Spirits were also here, Humanoid, but their skin glimmered like the night sky. They gave me the [New Ability: Star Map Projection], a party trick that allowed me to shower constellations in the air like fireworks.

Rin swept through the wreckage. “Master… you actually did it. You corrupted Heaven. With hot water.”

“They can call me a saint or sinner. It doesn’t matter. As long as they’re enjoying what we offer, I’ve done my job.”

Of course, this wasn’t true. What mattered most was getting my poor Human body back! If my soul has truly been bound to this Dungeon Core forever, I was screwed!

Remember… I’m Human…! I’m Human!!!

For now, our Second Labor was a sweeping victory!!

Rin’s smile was small and dangerous. “Good,” she said, folding the towel into a neat square against her palm. “Then let us see what else your springs can make holy.”

When dawn broke, the Father Angel appeared. His own halo had slid askew during the night, but his eyes burned with reluctant clarity. “Dungeon Core Kazuki. Against all odds, against every teaching I have preached… we must admit. Perhaps there is something Heaven has been lacking. Perhaps, your vision of peace achieved through diversity rather than segregation is heavenly.”

From the kitchen, our master chef, Blackwell, the Demon Lord’s eyes, finally released a laugh he’d been holding back all night. “All it took was a bathhouse? Why didn’t we think of that?”

The Sky-kin departed with solemn vows to return. The Church would likely face some reforms. Rumors spread. Taverns buzzed with the tale.

“They say even Heaven is visiting Kazuki’s Sacred Spa!” Cried an adventurer.

Meanwhile, at the port city of Crass, a weary Human soldier leaned on his spear, watching smoke drift from the frontlines. He spotted something glowing in the mud. It was a halo. He picked it up, examining the dented gold ring, then looked back at his line of equally tired comrades. “If Heaven’s already dipped,” he muttered, “why the hell are we still here?”

No answer came. His sergeant had already left the post to send a letter to King Gremy for new orders: to advance or hold the line, and request an update on the shifting ideals at the Capital. For the first time, the justification for interspecies segregation, as well as the war itself, was wobbling in a massive way.

Interspecies peace was right.

These changes to Heaven’s doctrines weren't welcomed by all. A piece of the Church was splitting at the seams. A new sect was formed, called Supreme, a radically discriminatory group mostly made up of the Human Army veterans who needed a reason to keep fighting. These Human Supremists would prove to be a problem in the future, certainly.

We were summoned again to the Demon Lord’s castle. His throne loomed as always, but tonight his gaze held a new hunger. He was less for conquest and more for something far harder to seize.

“You have turned Angels into clients, chipping at their doctrine. I must say, I am impressed by your successes compared to your first Labor.” A smile edged his fangs. “I’m even more inclined to visit your Sacred Spa. But your final Labor awaits. Trio of heroes, I mandate you… Convince King Gremy to end the war.”

“I see… I had the inclination it would be something like that…”

It was an extremely prideful request. Especially the way he worded our Third Labor.

For a moment, I pondered if our Spa kept improving and reaching non-believers, if this was a war between not species, but between the esteemed representatives of each species, a war between King Gremy and the Demon Lord.

“I’ve been trying to solve this for the longest time, Demon Lord. As interspecies peace gains popularity, this becomes less of a war between Demon-kin and Humans, and more of a war between kings. You and him. Shouldn’t our third Labor also include convincing you to end the war?”

“You dare?” The Demon Lord scorned. “I shall not enter talks of reparations if my enemy is still glaring at me. It’s preposterous!”

“Fine. I think the great waves we’ve caused will help resolve this conflict before long. We’ll have a peace conference done.”

“A peace conference… at our Spa?!”

“Kazuki, we can’t possibly.”

“Oh, I’m not considering it,” I cut in. “I’m already reserving the space! Very well, we accept our Third Labor, this summit of Kings!”