Gambling with Apples

Rollnaldo stood before the three of us, as we waited around on the derby grounds. “This is Jackpot. The impossible horse.”

“Jacky likes apples.” Jacky once again hobbled over to Rollnaldo with his uneven legs and began to suck on his head.

I stare at both him and Jacky skeptically. “Are you sure this is a good idea? It’s not too late to back out. Technically I have to be the one who officially issues the gamble showdown. We can still skip town while we have the chance.”

“Knock that negativity off, Lucky. It's not whether they think we can win. It's whether we believe… Also I just bought a bunch of horse steroids, so we got that going for us too.” He waved around a paper bag that he got earlier from some dude in an alley.

“But don’t they typically drug test the horses at these things?”

He tossed a plastic bottle at me, which bounced off my forehead. “I hope you’re clean because if that happens, you’re going to have to do the ole bait and switch with your pee.”

“Why the heck do I have to do it?”

“Oh I must have forgot to mention. You’re going to be our jockey.” He responded.

“I don’t know anything about riding horses though, and aren’t jockeys supposed to be short.”

He let out a chuckle. “It can’t be that hard. All you have to do is sit on Jacky’s back while he runs in a circle… And what are you like 5’ 7”? Seems short enough to me.”

“That’s rich coming from someone who’s two feet tall.” I fired back at him.

Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by a gallant neigh from a tall majestic white horse with a long flowing mane that elegantly trotted up to us.

“Good afternoon, Rollnaldo.” A familiar voice came from behind the horse's head.

“Ah, great…” Rollando let out a huff.

Riding on the horse’s back, while hitting a number of poses, as he flexed his muscles, was Betssi. Despite being fairly large for a dice person, he still was only about two feet tall as well and looked ridiculously small sitting on the massive white horse.

“Where’d you get that sad excuse for a horse, the glue factory?” Dieanne, who was seated behind Betssi chimed in.

“Jacky likes apples.” Jacky responded, not helping his own case.

“Tch, your horse is probably loaded up on performance enhancers.” Rollnaldo sneered, accusing them of exactly what he was planning on doing.

“Keep telling yourself that.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

Eight suddenly became defensive and wrapped her arms around Rollnaldo. “Back off you fake haired dice witch!”

“That’s ironic coming from a dyed haired tramp… And who the heck wears a wedding dress to a derby?” Dieanne shot back.

Rollnaldo let out a maniacal laugh. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way, Dieanne, but as of last night, I’m officially off the market.”

Dieanne let out a yawn. “Oh, you two did one of those tacky shotgun weddings. Betssi and I are going to be renting out an entire private island for our wedding.”

Eight blatantly scratched under her eye with her middle finger. “Man, these ‘allergies’ are really acting up.”

“Come on now, let's all be mature.” Betssi interjected, trying to calm everyone down. “We just came here to make this gamble showdown official between our gamblords.”

“Where the pip even is Patrick anyways? He’s supposed to meet us here.” Dieanne spoke with an attitude.

Just as she spoke, there was a scratching noise, when suddenly a hole formed in the ground and a head popped out of it. “Sorry I’m late ma’am. I got a little bit lost on the way here.” A familiar whiney voice spoke.

“I swear, you can’t even handle a simple task like showing up on time. One more screw up and I’m going to start docking your pay.” Dieanne reprimanded him.

“Will do, ma’am…” The guy in the hole hung his head nervously.

“It’s you!” I pointed, immediately recognizing the bucked tooth figure in front of me as Mole Pat, the guy I had to thumb wrestle back at the resort.

“Yes, is someone else there?” He looked around obliviously with his eyes closed.

“Oh, you two already know each other?” Betssi looked at me curiously.

“You could say that. I happened to run into your little lackey here at Lotto Lu’au…” I looked at him with an accusing grin. “I almost didn’t recognize him without his magnet.”

“Patrick, why would you be at-”

“You must be mistaking him for someone else.” Dieanne nervously spoke over Betssi before he could finish. “Anyways, let’s get on with this.” She quickly changed the subject. Something told me that she was involved with some shady business behind Betssi’s back.

“Oh really.” I glared at her skeptically. “Well I guess since you’re here, now, I challenge you to a gamble showdown.” I pointed at Mole Pat, who was facing in the opposite direction.

“O-oh alright then, whoever you are. I accept your gamble showdown because it's the law… also Miss Dieanne says I have to.” He nervously agreed.

“No backing out now, Rollnaldo. I look forward to getting the rest of your stuff.” Dieanne snickered. “Alright babe, let's get out of here.” She patted Betssi on the shoulder.

“I guess I'll see you guys around.” Betssi added, still trying to be friendly with us.

Their magnificent white horse pranced off with the two of them on its back.

Mole Pat sniffed the air. “W-wait for me!” Realizing they already left him behind, he ran after them… in the wrong direction.

Once they were out of our sight, Rollnaldo tossed his paper bag at me, which I nearly fumbled. “Watch it, those were the best steroids three hundred dollars could buy.”

Shaking the bag, I looked back at him. “So do I just feed them to him before the race or something?”

He shrugged. “Probably something around those lines. Check if there's instructions in the bag.”

I was doubtful some sketchy performance enhancers that he bought in a back alley would have instructions. Still humoring him though, I peeked into the paper bag. “...”

“What's wrong?” He noticed that my face immediately dropped.

“I'm pretty sure you got scammed…” Out of the bag, I pulled an average looking red apple.

“MOTHER PIPPER!” Rollnaldo swore on the top of his lungs.

Eight grabbed the apple from my hand and looked at it curiously “Hold up there, what if these are magic performance enhancing app-.”

“Jacky likes apples!” Jacky excitedly trotted over to her, attempting to grab the apple from her hand with his mouth.

Pulling it away from him, she tossed it at me. “Go ahead and test it, Recruit Number One.”

“This came from a sketchy guy in a trenchcoat. Like heck I'm going to put that anywhere near my mou-.” Before I could finish, she grabbed my hand and forcibly shoved it into my mouth.

She stared at me intently. “So, do you feel any different?”

After nearly choking, I managed to cough down the piece of apple she force fed me. “You know that you could have killed me, right?… but no, I'm pretty sure it was just a normal app-.”

“Jacky likes apples!” Jacky dove at the partially eaten apple that I had dropped on the ground and swallowed it in a single bite.

“Wait a second, let me see one of those. Maybe this isn't a total loss.” Snatching the bag of apples back from me, Rollnaldo pulled one out from the bag and threw it as far as he could in the open area under the stands. “Go get the app-.”

“Jacky likes apples!” At an incredible speed, Jacky sprinted on his uneven legs toward the apple. An instant later, he was back in front of us, obnoxiously chewing with his horse teeth.

“I guess he really does like apples.” Rollnaldo gave a confident smirk, as he handed me back the paper bag. “Change of plans, Lucky. The good news is you're probably not going to have to pee in a cup now.”

I hated to admit it, but after just watching how fast Jacky moved for that apple, Rollnaldo might actually be onto something…