The Uncertainty of Tomorrow - Part 2

"How about the last few months in general? We have time. I want to give you the chance to discuss what this has been like for you. I imagine you wouldn't mind having the chance to vent a little."

"Well, yes. I'm still not feeling the best about how everything went."

"Of course."

Conrad allowed himself a moment of silence, before speaking again.

"You terrified me that night last week, Nana."

"Yes. Would you like me to apologize again?"

"That's not what I'm looking for. You already apologized. I just want you to understand what that was like for me. I'm not asking you to treat me like a incompetent child, Nana. But I had a goddess look me in the eyes and tell me that she was considering killing me."

"Not even divine entities are immune to the pros and cons of the emotional spectrum. Our wrath is something that needs to be regulated carefully. There have been many, many instances across the span of the cosmos where our strong feelings led to outrageous events with large-scale consequences." She hesitated a moment. "Admitting this out loud is not a normal tendency of mine, but the truth is, in spite of my power and knowledge, I am not a perfect being."

"Because of your emotional tendencies?"

"Right. I have an absolute understanding of human psychology, and the human condition in general. From a theoretical standpoint. The reason why I bring that up is because I know that humans and gods experience the same emotional spectrum, and the same difficulty controlling it."

Conrad nodded. "It seems odd that we have that in common. Did you create all of us, Nana?"

Nana shook her head. "No, that was not the work of myself. But I am the personification of the planet Earth itself, and the one responsible for watching over it. I still see myself as the mother of all of you, in a sense, since you collectively are a species that inhabits my domain. And that one step removed between all of you and I fuels my fascination further. If I was the one who had created mankind, perhaps I wouldn't possess this burning curiosity about your struggles."

Nana glanced at Conrad and smiled gently. "I appreciate your interest in this subject."

"Oh, I'm certainly interested. There's so many fascinating things to learn from you, and about you. Things that I definitely couldn't learn from any source on Earth. Why wouldn't I want to hear you discuss yourself?"

"I have spoken to multiple human beings at this point, Conrad. Their reactions to me have varied drastically. Some, like yourself, demonstrated fascination. Some, disbelief. Some showed me nothing but absolute terror. All understandable reactions, that I know not to take personally, in the case of those who respond negatively."

"But that's enough about me for now, Conrad. Back to you. Share your thoughts about this journey so far with me."

Conrad rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "It's given me a far greater appreciation about the food that goes into my stomach everyday."

"Good. That was likely the best response you could have given. And it's also why I waited until a new farm hand was scouted and hired before ensuring you left. Every single time that you put fuel into your body, Conrad, you have people in that position to thank for it. Never forget the difficulty of that labor. Never forget their sacrifice."

"I won't. I promise you, Nana."

"Good. What else have you taken away from the experience?"

Conrad was quiet for an extended stretch before responding this time. As he had mentioned earlier, Nana's anger over this subject had left a powerful impression on Conrad. Nana observed Conrad's face for a moment. He was gazing down at the earth, nervous again. Understanding why, Nana reassured him.

"Speak your piece. I will not be upset."

"Thank you. I've...developed a new appreciation for the value of life."

"That you have indeed. Every living thing holds value. Some life forms have a focused responsibility maintaining the course of nature. The circle of life, as you humans refer to it. But that's not what I suspect you're currently dwelling on. For other forms of life, their functions on the planet are more varied, also serving as your friends, family, and pets."

There was silence for a solid minute. Conrad and Nana simply continued walking, not rushing to continue the exchange. They still had time. They had plenty of time.

"Do you feel I should have prevented that night's events, Conrad?"

"Yes."

The response came out of Conrad's mouth so fast that there was no time to really think critically about it. He had just responded out of instinct. Conrad hurriedly elaborated on his stance.

"But even though that's how I feel...I've come to better understand the standpoint you gave me last week. At least, I think I get it better now. I took some time to think critically on it."

"What are those thoughts on the matter?"

"From a rational standpoint, I get it. I do. An existence that never involved pain and tragedy wouldn't be a complete human existence. This is how we develop, right? We overcome problems, and trauma. And through that, we value what we still have, both the people and the moments of peace, even more."

"Besides, people NEED to die, right? Regardless of whether their lives end peacefully or miserably, everyone has to go at some point. We wouldn't have enough resources on Earth if nobody ever had to pass on. If nobody's dog ever had to die, I'm sure all dog owners would be very happy, but we'd eventually just run out of dog food."

That actually got a laugh out of Nana. "Well, yes, that's one way to put it."

"And the last thing I realized is that all living things eventually need to rest, just out of pure exhaustion. Living for many years takes a heavy toll on people, right? Fatigue starts to set in. A lot of the older folks I've met in my life just seem tired of existing. Wouldn't it be ridiculous to rob them of their eventual rest?"

Conrad's words ended up striking a chord with Nana in that moment. His point mentally brought her back to her conversation with Selena. She nodded slowly, not letting on anything. "Yes, that wouldn't be fair at all."

"But, Nana...even though I believe in the points I just made, if you had brought them up to me at the moment I saw Cassandra die, I wouldn't have cared at all. Does that make me selfish?"

"Yes. For a fleeting moment, perhaps, but yes. You'd be excused for reacting that way though. Moments of profound vulnerability have stripped away the layers of even the most rational individuals. So I'd say it's best not to dwell on it."

"...It felt nice having someone I could look at as a mother in my life again."

Another moment of complete silence, barring the sounds of their feet on the dirt.

"Conrad?"

"My father doesn't let me see her, Nana."

"Your biological mother, yes?"

"That's right. He's the most controlling father that could ever be imagined. All for the sake of facilitating my growth, according to him. All for the sake of ensuring I can take his place as the CEO one day. Out of all the parts of my life he's micromanaged for the sake of getting me ready, out of all his actions that fueled my grudge, that was the worst."

"Then I'm assuming you love your mother a great deal, if that choice of his fueled these negative feelings of yours so deeply."

"Yes. Back when I was a very young child, contact was more regular. I loved my mother with all my heart, even back then. But the more time went by, the more my father began to argue that her "coddling" was distracting me from my studies. No matter how much she tried to fight him on the matter, he wouldn't budge. She tried to head to the courts and fight for sole custody of me, but my father has the money to hire the greatest lawyers in the world, and pay off the judges."

Conrad rubbed his face wearily. "It's the most frustrating thing in my entire life. Father got sole custody. Mom had visitation rights, but since I just turned 18 a day before you sent me here, it was finally time for me to have the right to visit her myself. But now I'm here." Conrad forced a laugh, the sound hollow.

Nana placed a hand on his shoulder, pointing up. They had reached the next town. And then, to Conrad's surprise, Nana actually hugged him.

Nana ruffled the boy's hair, smiling. "Conrad, I appreciate your willingness to discuss all of that with me. I really do. For now, let's check in to the inn. Go get some rest. When you awaken, it'll be the beginning of a new chapter, my boy."