The Uncertainty of Tomorrow

Conrad awoke in the middle of the night suddenly. He had headed to sleep after the conversation with Joshua and Carmela, intent on getting enough rest to begin to heal properly. Groggy and rubbing his eyes, Conrad beheld the form of Nana sitting on the end of his bed, gazing down at him calmly. There was no smirk this time, no playfulness, just his divine benefactor watching him slumber.

"Nana."

"Hello, Conrad. I decided to get your attention without making you jump out of your skin for a change."

"That's very considerate."

"Once you've recuperated, we're done here."

Conrad stared at Nana, a little dumfounded. "You mean...you want to send me somewhere else?"

"Somewhere else. To inhabit someone else. At a different point in time. I think you've developed enough at this place."

"Wait. Hang on."

Conrad eyed Nana suspiciously.

"You specifically think I've developed enough now? After what happened to Cassandra? After I broke down in front of Joshua and Carmela?"

"Naturally. Experiencing grief is something all mortals must go through. Some at an earlier age, some later. And that's only the first part. After you've been broken down, you have to learn to put yourself back together. You have to be willing to try again after you fail."

Nana continued. "After what happened tonight, I got a feel for where you stand mentally. You're on the mend. If you had not had that conversation with Joshua, it's entirely possible that you never would have properly processed your grief."

Nana grinned at him, flashing him a wink. "Lucky, lucky boy. How's it feel to finally have a father figure who communicates with you like a human being?"

Conrad scowled. "I don't feel like calling me lucky makes much sense right now. Would've worked better the day before the attack. Also, please stop intruding into my private memories like that. My situation with my biological father is complicated."

"Touchy. Frankly, Conrad, I'd suggest learning to trust me. I think it's fairly clear that this arrangement I set up is doing good for you."

"It didn't exactly do much good for Cassandra."

Nana's face tightened, and she took on the most dangerous tone that Conrad had heard from her yet. "That's the nature of existence for your kind, lad. People are born. They experience profound happiness, profound sadness, and everything in between. Then they eventually die, some in a bed, some on a battlefield. Are you implying that I should give every human being the same experiences, the same trials, the same outcomes?"

"No, but I don't think people should have to watch their families die in order to grow or live interesting lives!"

Nana stood up sharply, her eyes alight with anger. Conrad was lifted off the bed, as if grabbed by a powerful invisible arm, and pulled towards Nana's rigid gaze until they were just a few inches apart.

"I have half a mind to rip you apart atom by atom right now, little boy. The only reason you can properly appreciate the full range of the human existence is BECAUSE tragedy occurs. Do you know what kind of person has their brain flooded with nothing but happy feelings all day, every day, Conrad? A drug addict. Someone who is too cowardly to experience the ups and downs of an adult human life. If you want that for yourself, just let me know, and I'll drop you back in your world with enough junk in your brain to render you useless forever."

The fear moving through Conrad's veins was an unspeakable thing. It was a terror more profound than even when he had fought for his life, but with none of the adrenaline. It was the fear of god in its most literal form. Conrad could do nothing but go limp from the debilitating effects and listen as Nana's words washed over him.

"Tragedies take all forms. If not a wild beast carving one's throat out, it could have been an earthquake, a landslide, a fire, anything. All part of the deal, so your species can learn to appreciate your happiest, most peaceful moments. There is balance to everything in life, absolutely EVERYTHING, including each fleeting moment of contentment or joy you feel."

Nana floated Conrad back down to his bed, seemingly cooling off at this point.

"Conrad Walters, I chose YOU because you seem like the optimal choice for our project. Strong enough to keep trying in the face of adversity, smart enough to adapt to new lifestyles and solve problems. Old enough to understand the danger of this adventure, young enough to crave new experiences. But it does annoy me that you seem to lack the wisdom to even understand why I appreciate seeing people persevere."

Nana gave herself a moment of quiet, then exhaled lowly.

"Enough. That is my problem, not yours. You consented to this journey to see what you could make of it. I organized it to see what I could appreciate from observing you. You don't need to see things from my point of view. In fact, the very thought of you seeing things from the point of view of a goddess is laughable."

Nana levitated into the air, looking back at Conrad. "I apologize, Conrad. You're recuperating from a traumatic event. Building yourself through hardship only works if you're given time to recover. Just focus on rest. I'll give you some advance notice before I take your soul out of this body."

Conrad nodded meekly. "Understood. Goodnight, Nana."

"Goodnight."

Nana floated through the wall of his bedroom, leaving Conrad alone to ruminate over his thoughts.

"That's all then, lad?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you so much for putting me up for the past months. I was already travelling around and trying to find my place in the world before I arrived at your farm. I feel at this point that I'm just ready to continue moving."

Joshua nodded. A week had passed since the night Nana came to visit. Conrad had informed both Carmela and Joshua that he would be leaving shortly, but stayed on long enough to help out until a replacement for him could be secured. The farm needed to be tended to, and Carmela and Joshua alone would not be sufficient. This farm needed a team of at least three to function at proper capacity.

"Understood. Well then, I've never been much of one for emotional goodbyes. But let me at least give you one of these."

Joshua approached, and grasped Conrad's hand, shaking it fondly. Conrad stared back at Joshua as he reciprocated the gesture. He owed a great deal to this man. If this was to be the last time that he interacted with this man, Conrad knew that it was more important than ever to make this moment respectful.

Once he and Joshua released each other's hands, Conrad heard someone clear her throat off to his side.

Glancing over with a smile, he locked eyes with Carmela for a moment. He cared for her extremely deeply. He really did. And he knew that she was going to have a lot to grapple with over the course of the coming years. Ideally, he would prefer to stay at the farm for at least a bit longer to see if he could support Carmela in some capacity. But Nana had made up her mind.

Conrad walked over and pulled Carmela into a hug. "Please try to keep positive."

He wished he had something more he could muster up, but nothing else seemed to come to mind.

Carmela chuckled lowly. "I'll...I'll try. I've still got dad with me here, after all. Should be okay."

Her words did not translate into any warmth in her eyes, unfortunately.

And so Conrad headed off, waving at Carmela and Joshua behind him. As he left, he couldn't help but acknowledge the cold, focused look in Carmela's eyes as she waved back. Conrad had already come to the conclusion that she didn't seem to have any animosity towards him in particular. But the thought of the change that had clearly taken place in her was something that unsettled him. Joshua was an old, wise and stoic man, but Carmela was far more driven by her feelings, and Conrad couldn't help but feel worried for how she would carry on.

Conrad walked on in silence for a time. Nana had instructed him to head to the nearest town before she returned Conrad's current body to its original owner. Made more sense that way. If she had performed the switch at the farm itself, the original owner would have reawakened with no recollection whatsoever of who Joshua and Carmela were. Instead of causing an awkward scenario that benefited nobody, Conrad could have one last day of peace in this body heading elsewhere.

"Care to chat?"

Conrad didn't even jump this time. He glanced to the side and saw Nana suddenly walking alongside him.

"That sounds fine to me. Any subject in particular on your mind, Nana?"