Conflicted Mind, Restless Heart

I dragged my body outside of the ruins. The umconfortable silence makes my mind work more, which in turn just make me more frustrated. Everything is just so, so frustrating. I don't know why I have to gather the three relics nor what will happen if I do it. I don't know what will happen if Amuronakia gets all of them either. Even so, losing the Sword of Essence left my emotional in pieces.

I slowly walked until I arrived at the town's gate once again. The four guards panicked when they saw me thanks to the state I am right now.

"M-Ma'am! What happened?!"

"...Did anyone enter the city after I left?"

"What?... No, no one came here today, just you..."

"...I see..."

I kept walking and ignored their shallow worries. But the people from Trasinto were different. The moment they saw me I could see desperation in their eyes as they ran to support my body and help me walk.

"...Thank you. I need to go to Greugyor Blacksmith..."

"You must go see Friedo first, Her Holiness!"

"Yeah! Please, treat your wounds before doing something else!"

People tried to convince me to go see the doctor, but I don't believe it'll work out.

"Sorry, these kind of wounds are not normal at all. Human medicine wouldn't be enough to cure it."

"Her Holiness..."

"Take her to my clinic."

Before people could lose motivation, Friedo showed himself.

"Doctor!"

"Her Holiness, don't take this the wrong way, please... But you shouldn't underestimate medicine. If it has both government and people's support, it can evolve beyond expectations."

"..."

I had no reply to that. It made my chest hurt, though. Seeing me silent, people assumed I consented and helped me walk to Friedo's clinic. Once there, everyone went back to their lives after wishing me a good recovery.

"Not that I had any doubt about Her Holiness to begin with, but a human wouldn't survive with wounds like these."

"I'm feeling a lot better now than I was thirty minutes ago."

"That's good to hear. I may not have much to do to help, but let's apply some medicinal herbs where it hurts. It will relieve your pain."

Friedo got I small bowl with a green cream inside it and gave me. I looked at him sightly confused.

"You should apply it yourself. I wouldn't dare touch Her Holiness, after all. I will wait for you outside, call me when you are ready. There is some bandages in that shelf if you need it. Feel free to use them."

He left the clinic before I could answer. I then removed my shattered armor piece by piece. I was wearing just two pieces of thick clothes underneath the armor, one covering my chest, one covering my waist. Fully removing my armor gave me a strange feeling, as if I stop being a warrior if I'm not wearing an armor. In any case, I started to apply the medicinal herbs.

Ouch! It hurts...

Be it in my shoulders, neck, belly or thighs, everywhere I touch hurts like hell. This medicine was cold and it felt good after a few seconds. It was actually working and lessening the pain. I did not like the part I looked like a old tree full of moss, but I don't think I can complain. I thought about using the bandages, but gave up the idea and put my armor back. I can walk normally now so I left the clinic and saw Friedo there, waiting for me.

"I'm ready."

"Her Holiness? How are you feeling?"

"I feel better now, thank you."

"That's great! I will prepare a medicinal drink to you, wait here!"

"No need. I think I can manage from now on."

"Do not neglect your health, Her Holiness. It will be quick, I promise."

"..."

I decided to accept his goodwill. He entered the clinic and after a few minutes, left it with a glass with a green drink on it.

"Here you go!"

"Thank you."

I drank it all in one go and it tasted quite good. It was like beet juice if you ever drank it. I returned the empty glass to him.

"I should pay you for your services..."

"Don't think about it, Her Holiness. Consider this an exception, if you ever need treatment again then you may pay my services. I just had to prove myself to you as a worth doctor, that's all!"

"..."

Lies. I know he just wanted to help any way he could. It doesn't feel right to keep abusing my status to get things for free without giving them anything back, but I have no money... Actually, I don't even know what kind of money is used here. I must try to do something for these people and I have an idea.

"I see. I must go, then. Thank you again, Friedo."

"If you ever need anything, you will always be welcome here, Her Holiness."

He bowed to me and I left. With my body in a better state now, I headed to Greugyor Blacksmith. On the way there I waved my hand to Trasinto's people who seemed worried about my condition. When I was getting closer to my destiny, I saw Micca sweeping in front of the workshop again. She ran towards me the moment she saw me.

"Kiarathyto! How are you feeling? I heard you came back full of injuries and had to go to the doctor... I was really afraid..."

"Hello, Micca. As you can see, I will survive. I came to talk with you and your grandmother."

"Of course! Come!"

She took my hand and led me inside her house. There I once again met Louira.

"Oh, Kiarathyto. Quite the party you have been it seems hehe."

"Grandma! Show some respect to Kiarathyto!"

"Calm down, girl. Your idol won't go away so soon."

"G-Grandma!... A-Anyway, I will bring something to eat."

Micca hastily went out of the living room. It's always amusing to observe them, somehow it gives me a sense of nostalgia.

"This girl really is energetic."

"Ah, I like that on her. But you were right, I... met some acquaintances inside the ruins of Turmoil Forest."

I can't really explain, but I feel I can open myself a bit when I'm talking with Louira.

"Oho, and how that went?"

"I lost the Sword of Essence."

I said that straight, but I couldn't even look at her face. My shame was such I preferred to look to the door Micca went instead.

"Hmm, I was not expecting that. I am afraid only you can figure out how to deal with what happend. I am just an old woman."

"..."

Yeah, that's the problem.

"I must say, though. If you have something you must do, then you should cope with your feelings as fast as possible."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well... Care to hear a short story?"

"Go ahead."

"Very well. Micca's mother, that is my daughter, once received three big works she had to deliver on the same day. She had to hurry of course, but she also had the skill to complete all three of them successfully. However, while working on a armor that one of the three clients asked, an accident happened and all her hard work was gone in a instant. She was devasted. She blamed herself, but knew she should keep working without pause. But it was a mistake, her mental state was shaken and that just made her mess up her other two works, In the end, she lost everything and the client never came back to our workshop. I believe you face a similar ordeal, hence why I humbly advise someone as great as you to take a time to absorb what happened before you take action again."

"..."

"What I want to say is... No matter how powerful you are, a vulnerable mind can overthrow any strength, talent or possession."

Her words pierced me deeply. I was looking down before I even realized.

"I am back!"

Micca arrived just in time to lighten the mood. She put a tray with some...unique snacks on the table. They may be common in this world, but I never saw anything like this. Some red balls the size of my hand, a yellow stick with a blue cream coming out from both ends and...some white crystals above a leaf? Yeah, I'm scared. But this is just what I needed to ease my mind.

"Micca, you are the one who works in this workshop, right? Forging, I mean."

"Yes... Do you need something? I can forge weapons, armors or shields, anything you want!"

"Can you repair my armor?"

Micca stared at my armor for a few seconds.

"I...think it's impossible. Your armor doesn't seem like it was made with common ore. I have been studying every kind of ore and I never saw anything like your armor."

"I thought that'd be the case..."

"Sorry I can't help you..."

Micca's face quickly became gloomy. I didn't want to upset her, but that was to be expected. This armor is not something I will ever have again... Though I think I saw that mural saying I received this armor from the Goddess of Death, Sisikku.

"Don't worry about it. In this case, can I ask you to make a new armor for me?"

"Really?! I-I mean, of course I'd do it!"

Seems like it's not that hard to make her happy.

"Also, can I ask you for a change of clothes?"

"Yes! Leave it to me!"

With the three of us sitting on the sofas, I decided to eat the snacks while asking about each of them to Louira. The red ball things are called Tataboru. They have the strangest texture of all time, I can hold and chew it like a fruit, but it's so squashy and soft it almost made question if this thing is solid or liquid. Its taste is sweet, similar to coffee with milk. The yellow stick is the Urafa, a baked pastry with a cream made with huttu fruit. I don't know how to explain its taste, but it's like eating bread with a mango-like cream filling. The white crystal is called Sallup and it's quite exquisite. At first it seems like a giant sugar crystal, but once you bite it, you feel like several small bombs of sweet pepper start to explode inside your mouth. It is both sweet and sour, hot and icy.

"So Kiarathyto, what kind of armor you want?"

"You may call me just Kiara from now on, Micca."

"E-Eh?! I-I cant!"

"Come on, don't make this longer than it needs to be. Anyway, I leave it at your capable hands. Whatever you have in mind is enough for me."

"Alright. Then I'll make the best armor a simple human like me can make for you, K-Kiara!"

I nodded to her. After that, Micca brought some spare clothes to me. Obviously, it was something a lot more mundane than a violet magic armor made by a god, but I thought it was pretty cute. Micca guided me to her room and said I should make myself comfortable. I once again removed my armor, but now for the last time. I put a white blouse, a brown long skirt, a blue overdress, a belt and a pair of loafers. If not for my golden hair, I could pass myself as a normal person. Looking at myself made me feel a warmth in my heart, I felt more...human, for once.

"Ah, Kiara! You look really beautiful!"

As soon as I left Micca's room, she received me with praise.

"Thank you. Here, take this."

"Is this...your armor?"

I gave what was left from my armor on Micca's arms. 

"As you said, this armor is not made with common ore. If you sell it, I'm sure you can earn enough to live a fancy life until your last day, maybe enough to live two or three lives. I only ask you to use part of this money to help the people from Trasinto."

"...Are you serious, Kiara? Isn't this important to you?"

It may have been for the one Kiarathyto I am not.

"Don't mind it. I won't use it anymore and I have the chance to help everyone so it's fine. It's yours."

"...I understand."

"Good. I will take stroll now, let me thank you again for everything you and your grandmother have been doing for me."

"...It's fine."

Micca seemed crestfallen.

"is something wrong?"

"It's just...you look sad. So I'm getting sad too."

"..."

I was perplexed. Was it so obvious?

"Well, I'll be fine. I just need a time for myself."

"Alright then. Meanwhile I will do my best to work in your armor and create a masterpiece!"

"Great. I'm sure you can do it."

Smiling to ease her worries, I left Greugyor Blacksmith.

Seems like Havell also has what in my world is called "night". There's neither sun nor moon in the sky, so I don't know where the light comes from, but it suddenly got a lot weaker and the whole world darkened. I was sitting at the top of the castle looking at the sky.

The Polluted Hero must be heading towards where the second relic is located. As he is a human, he'll probably take a while if it's not close from here. If I met him again, I have to get the Sword of Essence back. But before I can do anything, I have to find myself.

What do I actually want...? Who I actually am? All these stories about Kiarathyto makes me feel like a fake. But I can't be human either, I barely remember who I was...

I can't be the human I once was and as a demigod I am a total failure so far. I don't know where to go.

I need to reinvent myself... To re-evaluate my actions and beliefs...

Since it was dark, I noticed a shining thing inside the Turmoil Forest.

I wonder what's that?

Controlling the wind, I made my body fly and quickly went to the forest. Already on the ground, I found what I was look at. It was a pretty pentagonal prism shell a bit bigger than my hand with a hole on top and below. 

Is this an animal shell, perhaps?

I took a look inside and it was empty. Then, I noticed there were a few more of them in this area. I got an other one and flew back to the top of the castle.

I think I can use this.

I had an idea. I was not sure it'd work, but it was both a good distraction and a way to practice my elemental control. I imbued them with wind magic and tried to connect both of them with a magic wind tunnel using their holes. I thought to myself this wouldn't be so hard, but I was wrong. I stayed there trying for hours.

"I did it!"

When I finally connected both shells, it was already day again. 

I feel so tired now...

As if my body remembered just now my last day, everything from that battle inside the Turmoil Forest to these last hours of training hit me all at once. I soon felt my eyes grow heavy and fell asleep at the castle's tower. It was the first time I slept as Kiarathyto, that I first slept in this world. 

When I opened my eyes again, it was still daytime. My body was sore all over and my mind was heavy. However, it felt more like I had a really bad night of sleep rather than my wounds aching. Actually, my wounds aren't hurting me much anymore. I took a look at the shells and saw they were still imbued with wind magic.

Nice. I should take them to Micca. I should also look for a bag.

I stretched my arms.

"Let's do what I have to do for today."

First things first. I went to the Turmoil Forest to drink some water and see if I find any fruit. I knew where to find a river and drank from there. I was really thirsty. Then, I found some blue fruit and ate them.

Oh, are these the huttu fruit? The taste is the same as the Urafa.

I saw myself sitting at the base of a tree eating tons of huttu fruits before I returned to the town. Once there, I was well-received as always by the people. Wait, they look a lot more happy today...

"Her Holiness is awesome!"

"Her Holiness saved my business!"

"Her Holiness look great on these clothes!"

I was confused at such sight and asked them what was happening.

"Micca distributed a lot of money between the families and said it was all thanks to you!"

She already sold my armor?!

I received the commotion akwardly and asked if anyone could fetch me a simple bag to use on my travels. In two minutes I already had a few options. Thanking everyone with one bag in my hand, I went to the Greugyor Blacksmith. This time I didn't see Micca sweeping the floor. I knocked on the door and waited. I could clearly hear the sound of metal being hit, Micca must be working right now. A few seconds after that sound stopped, she opened the door.

"Hello again, Micca."

"Eh?! Kiara! Where have you been?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You disappeared for more than one week! I was worried sick!"

More than one week?! 

That means...when I fell sleep...

That's why I was so hungry and thirsty. How that happened?

"Sorry. I just had some things to do."

"Ah... I understand. So, what brings you here?"

"I came to gave you this."

I gave one of the shells to Micca.

"Hm? A Turmoil Residue?"

"Is this common here?"

"Yes. People say they are formed with the remains of the magical energy of the forest. They are used to make acessories, a few merchants sell them here on Trasinto. But they are now becoming rare since the king started to forbid normal citizens to enter the forest. Since they shine in the dark, it's quite popular."

I should have expected this. Not that it matters.

"I see."

"...Is this perhaps a gift for me?"

She looked at me with anticipation.

"It is, actually. However, it's not to be used as an acessory."

"I don't think I understand..."

"Just hold it for a moment."

I then left the place and walked till the center of the town. I sat on the fountain and brought the shell near my mouth.

"Can you listen to me, Micca?"

"Waah~!"

Yeah, seems like she can.

"Can you see the hole with a few marks around it? I marked it to make it easier to you. Just bring the shell near your mouth and say something."

"I am confused, Kiara... What is this..."

"Well, you can say it's magic. I'm coming back to your workshop."

If there's one thing that can carry the sound, it's the wind. This invisble magic air tunnel gets the sound and carry them from one shell to the other. It was a way to create a form of phone in this world.

"We can use this to communicate with each other from now on."

I met Micca again and explained how she should use the shell.

"This is incredible..."

"I'm afraid I can stay in Trasinto until you finish my new armor, that's why I wanted to create this. Of course, it's always good to have someone to talk to."

"Kiara... I understand! I'll treasure it!"

"Thank you. I plan to left the town today, so... Give my regards to Louira."

"Of course! I wish you a good travel, Kiara."

"Yeah. Goodbye."

I left the Greugyor Blacksmith while seeing Micca waving to me with all her energy. There's still one place I must go before I leave Trasinto... I have to met the king once again and see if I can find any information about the second relic. I've decided. I'll get the relics while I try to grow into the new person I need to be. If there's no path, I have to create one. For now I am finally starting to see myself as part of Havell, be it a good thing or not.