A Compass with a True North

We entered a private hospital room, containing only one bed and a lying patient surrounded by countless medical equipment. Hina walked near the woman and bowed her head, whispering, “I’m home, Mother.” She took the nearest vinyl chair, sat beside her mother, and gently held her mother’s unconscious hand, rubbing her thumb over the knuckles.

“... And I’m sorry… I’ve done a terrible thing to Rise, a thing I never want to do but I need to. But… I’m glad that she made a friend in school. This is Kou Sugiyama. Rise would have introduced him to you, but she might be shy to tell you this.”

I approached her mother, greeted and bowed my head shortly. “Hello… Mother…”

Hina’s gaze drifted towards the family portrait of three, her laughing mother holding the two twins on each of their shoulders. She adapted Rise’s stooped posture, a side of her the public never knew, and I might’ve mistaken her from Rise.

“My mother was a single parent. Every time she has time, she’ll find the opportunity to work and provide us with our needs. Rise and I wanted to help her. ‘It’s alright.’ Those words, comforting in a soft, kind tone, gave us the illusion of ease, a calm life we shouldn’t bother thinking about. We’re unaware of the hardships of the world, not until that vehicle passed through her.

“It’s been five years since we saw her eyes open. It took me three days to visit Mother since Rise had a high fever back then. Days passed, Mother wasn’t waking up yet. Our situation got worse when our stomach growled. What did we do to deserve this? How will I earn money? What should I do? Those questions cycled my mind over and over, giving me restless nights and circles under my eyes. The more I think, the more I said to myself that I should get moving.”

I also took a vinyl chair and sat beside her. “And that’s how we got into the present?”

She shook her head and continued, “My job back then, waste collection, provided me with low income by reselling cans, cardboards, and papers to scrap dealers. Like Rise, I usually put marks of dirt on my face, preventing others from doing anything malicious to me. However, Kazami-san had the eye of the hawk when she scouted me. I still remember that she didn’t give me the details of the job, only promising to me that I’ll earn ten times more than my current job.”

“You’re somewhat lucky there that it wasn’t anything suspicious. The Gatcha Gods might have blessed you.”

“Luck? If that is, Rise and I wouldn’t have quarreled. As my stalker, I know you’ve eavesdropped on our conversation.”

“Heh, you’re still clinging to that idea?”

“Kazami-san gave me a choice I can’t decline, a misdirection towards a path I never wanted to take. ‘It’s for Mother and Rise,’ I comforted myself back then, a hint of fleeing touched my nearly-exploding heart, still thinking if I made the right decision. When I accepted it, right and wrong didn't matter anymore. I’ve become someone I’m not, doing things I don’t want to do, and forcing myself to like things I hate. Yet this faker earned her money for the sake of her family. I couldn’t ask for more.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I don’t even want to get involved and yet…

A warm smile appeared as she darted her gaze to me. “I’m glad that even with her reserved nature, she was able to make a friend…” However, her overly bright eyes appeared feverish, delivering a pained stare. She clasped my hand and bargained, “So please, take care of Rise for us. I don’t want her to suffer like I currently do.”

The thought of a famous cosplayer touching my hand didn’t bother me, since I thought of her as Rise. My face tightened, my brows drawing closer. As I subconsciously avoided eye contact, I stood and coughed, “Coming from you, a cosplayer who doesn’t want others to cosplay sounds ironic to me… or opportunistic.”

“The threats I’m receiving from various numbers are only the surface of that soiled glacier! There’s also creeps, stalkers, and I don’t want to mention the others. I’ve never been able to step outside without being noticed. You don't know yet how dirty this industry is. My freedom has already been taken by a persona. I don’t want Rise to feel that.”

And what does she know about what Rise wants? She’s blinded by responsibilities, and she treats this industry as a bird cage. I can’t blame her if she’s forced to sell her image to survive, but if she thinks she’s protecting Rise by pulling her away from what she wanted, then she has no business with me.

Exhaling a deep breath, I pulled my hand out of her grip. “I wouldn’t mind stepping into your sister’s life as her friend. But your rules only apply to her. I’m not a family member you can always rely on.” Walking towards the door, I uttered before I left, “I’m sorry for your mother, but personally, I’d rather buy a compass with a true north than a broken one.”

“Did you have a rough time talking with each other in private? If I’m like the other managers, this wouldn’t be allowed,” Kazami-sam mentioned as she drove the car towards home. I currently sat behind her, resting my head on my fist while I gazed out the window.

“I don’t intend to talk to her. I actually wanted to talk to you,” I responded, pivoting my head towards the rear view mirror.

“I’m curious. Do you have any business with me?”

“Business, it is. How’s the work-life balance in your agency?”

She paused for a moment, her gaze still focused at the road. “Unless you’re offered a contract, the schedules are confidential. I believe our agency only hires talented individuals who know the true meaning of art, not just those who depend on the glimmers in their faces.”

Art, my ass! Even with the car aircon pointed at me, I still sweat. My glare protruded at her poker face through the mirror. “Is that how you recruited Hina? I couldn’t grasp the true meaning of art just by scouting someone who’s recycling trash.”

With how apathetic she was, she might be provoking me. She stirred the wheel to the right, ignoring my rant. Still, I didn’t stop. “Hina needs to plan her clothes, practice her event performances, and she’s required to stream games and late-night greets for five hours daily, no breaks. Events are not even included. I wonder how she even sleeps. Moreso, when was the last time she met her mother? It wasn’t a coincidence that her posts and streams were only stopped when she’s a guest at an event, wasn’t it?”

“If you’re asking business related questions, please be aware that you’re currently riding for free on the agency’s car.”

“Then that proves it all to me.” I removed my seatbelt and said, “Please drop me off here.”

Them knowing my home address proves all my theories. Hina talking to me about Rise is only a diversion of their real business tactic. There’s no way a popular girl I don’t personally know would just invite me to tell anything about her family matters.

As the car halted, I hastily left and uttered, “I wouldn’t let you have Sera,” then I slammed the door shut with maximum force I could exert.

I leaned at the bridge, my head resting on my arms at the railing. The river below me reflected the streetlights beside the linear park, the flow of water echoing beyond the bridge that was only busy at daylight. With the colder breeze hitting my forehead, this was a much quieter place to think.

After I took a deep breath, I held it and exhaled when the flow of air stopped, like I just activated a time-stopping spell. It’s better to have time to manage my thoughts before I make my move. However, due to the silence this peace emits, I heard cycles of strong continuous sniffs under the bridge.

My eyebrows furrowed, curious that there might be a person under the bridge. As the traffic calmed, I passed through the road and went down the steel stairs. I found Marionette Sari sitting in a tuck position over the slope below the bridge, shadows surrounding her as she wailed with her eyes buried in her arms.

Moreover, that was Rise! Even in this place with no people, I couldn’t only hear her sniffs with her mouth. Still unsure, I tapped her shoulder, then she showed me her puffy face filled with tears, her eyes becoming red. Her stare was empty when she called me with a voice that breaks, “K–Kou-kun…”

“What are you doing here!? It’s already evening–”

Rise flew and embraced me with an intense squeeze, her loud heartbeat resonating through me. Trembling, she wailed loudly like a volcano that just exploded. When she rested her forehead on my shoulder, that specific part of me slightly stinged, most likely burnt, from her temperature.

She cried, “I thought… I did the right thing…”

“It’s alright, Rise…” First, I hesitated, but I’m glad I didn’t rub her back because of how agitated she was.

“It’s not! I’m not enough… I couldn’t even compare to my sister… I’ll always be sitting behind her shadow…

“I couldn’t even… save… her…” After a minute, her wailing stopped and her weight multiplied, her center of gravity shifting equally throughout her body. That was the time I embraced her, and the next thing I knew,

She already fell asleep.