A Pigeon So Light

I’m no good at all…

While playing, a girl with a low bob cut hair fell down, perpetually sitting on the soft dirt in a playground. Her short bangs hid her eyes as she bowed, unable to meet other’s eyes. Her shoulders hunching, she couldn’t ask for help.

Until a shadow surrounded her when a person approached her front, voicing, “Rise, are you alright?”

Rise looked up, witnessing Hina, a girl with the same charming face and hair color as hers, only having pigtails on her hair but had a wider smile. Rise held her breath as her seemingly shining face pivoted up, her lips slightly parting. With just a smile, the aura beyond themselves was divided between sunshine and darkness, like yin and yang.

We had the same face, but you can reach higher heights than me…

Inside an elementary school’s classroom, Rise sat behind the back row seats, shuffling the pages of a JUMP manga she borrowed from the library. Her bangs got longer, able to hide her eyes from the public. Her other classmates asked one another to eat lunch at the cafeteria, but no one asked her except…

“Rise! Let’s eat some lunch!” Hina, who’s passed through the classroom doors and went inside to fetch Rise, her smile emitting warmth for every step in the room. Through their postures, one could identify which was who.

Witnessing Rise’s book, she flinched back and gasped, “Wait… You’re reading the same book again!?”

“I–I’m alright, Nee-san. I’ll finish the second half of the story.”

Another group of girls peeked from the door, one of them waved and invited, “Amamiya-san, let’s eat lunch!”

Both of the twins peeked at the door, but Rise retracted her look and hastily stared back at the book, using it to hide her face.

“I’m going to follow, Arisa,” Hina replied and rushed outside. Before she vanished from Rise’s sight, she shouted, “You follow us in the cafeteria too, Rise. You should eat. I know most how magnetic you are to sickness. Don’t be shy! I’ll be glad to introduce you to them too.”

Rise gazed with longing back at the open door with no people outside, her lips flattening. She read the same page over and over, but couldn’t grasp the meaning of it. Closing the book, she placed it over her desk and rested her head over her arms.

I couldn’t follow you… You’re always far beyond my reach…

At the stage of the graduation ceremony, Hina walked together with her mother through the stage, ten of our school staff putting various medals on her neck. The principal handed the certificate to her, and when she stood before the spotlight, a round of applause echoed through the hall.

Next in line was Rise, and her mother went back to walk with her. No awards were given to her, only handshakes. When she stood before the crowd, countless murmurs overtook the only single click of the camera shutter. Instead of being proud, a flush creeped across Rise’s cheeks, her ears pretending not to hear the crowd’s whispers.

As Rise stepped down with her mother, Hina greeted her with wrinkling eyebrows. After pacing for a second, Hina clinged to Rise, her embrace squeezing gently and whispering, “Congratulations, Rise…”

There’s no need to congratulate me. You’re the one who worked hard.

Just as they’re going home after the graduation, Rise leaned towards the action figure of Asami shown inside the glass window at the famous Toy Store near our house. Her lips parted, her eyes looking steady at the details of the sculpture. If the glass isn’t there, she would long to go near and touch it.

“Rise, let’s go!” A shout from Hina pulled her back to reality, that same bright smile not wavering even after a tiring day. She, together with her mother, halted their steps while Rise catched up to them.

“You’re still looking at that action figure again?” Hina asked, walking chin up and chest out, and chuckled, “You really like those stuff, Rise. In the future, you might become a manga artist or a voice actress… or even a cosplayer!”

With a stooped posture, her eyebrows avoiding Hina’s joyful gaze, Rise stuttered, “I–I don’t know… I can’t talk with people…”

“If you really become one, cosplayer I mean, that would be amazing! I’ll be the one who will sew your clothes, craft your accessories, and make sure the costume fits you well!”

No, Hina-nee… If possible, it might be you… You’re too bright for me… for everyone…

But if that’s true… I would be glad… I might become as bright as Hina-nee, knowing I’m doing what I want to do…

Hina found a new good spot near their home. She invited Rise to witness the sunset from the bridge below the rivers. The buildings had strokes of light at its edge that soon dimmed every second. The streetlights at the linear parks beside the river lit on. Their eyes widened like owls, their slack mouth opened still, witnessing their own spot of peace.

“ Woah! Look at those! Pigeons! That made me wish I had wings. I want to fly and follow the sunset too,” Hina exclaimed, her eyes glimmering from the dimming sunrays.

Rise adapted the same expression as her sister, making her subconsciously say what she thought. “A pigeon so light– I own this flight,”

“I don’t understand, but you had good rhymes,” Hina chuckled, smiling at Rise. Soon, she looked back at the sky, her head resting on her arms that stood on the railings. “Tell me, Rise. Ten years from now, you will already become the person you want to be. May I know what you dreamed you’ll become?”

Slightly grimacing, Rise’s lips pressed together as she turned away from Hina’s sight. “I–I don’t know…”

“I know the last time we had a conversation was when we’re still playing in the playground as kids. You told me you want to become a witch, and things got awkward when everyone laughed. But I know you’re only adoring how your favorite Anime saved the people from danger.”

Enthusiasm touched Rise as she put her fists before her chest and looked directly at Hina. “But… I already ended the whole series… And it had a tragic ending.”

“Not all endings are tragic, Rise, and that doesn’t mean you’ll never meet your dreams. You’re the author of your own story, Rise… You’ll be the one who decides where you want to go, and how you want your story to flow until it ends.”

“Right…”

“Let me tell you my dream… For every stylish person I encounter, I always look at them with haste and think like ‘Oh! That cloth was so nice! I want to make one too!’ and I want to master that ability… I want to become a professional fashion designer.”

Hina gripped the railing and stretched her arms, carrying her slanted body from the ground. “That’s my answer, though it’s a little embarrassing, but you shouldn’t be shy about your dreams.” She turned to Rise and asked, “What was your dream?”

Rise, still quiet, maintained her eye contact with Hina, her lips opening and closing in a beat. After she found the right words, she voiced, “I want to be…”

Do I have the right to dream? I gave no effort in life. No matter what I did, people will still be more interested in Hina than me.

One day, the pale Rise lay on bed, sweating with a flushed skin, her glassy eyes seemingly feverish. She slowly opened her eyes, her partly blurry vision witnessing her sister putting a wet towel on her forehead. The thick raindrops clanged the sound of the roof, swinging the hanging lantern above them, a proof that a typhoon had already been occurring. Circles formed under Hina’s eyes, her eyebrows drawing together.

Rise coughed, then asked, “Hina-nee… Where’s Mother?”

Hina paced, pausing for seconds while darting her gaze at the sick Rise. Instead of responding to her question, she rubbed Rise’s head with a clammy hand. “You need to rest, Rise. Everything’s going to be alright.”

Rise looked away, her mouth slackening. However, with her sister’s comfort, she calmly exhaled the air that was held in her lungs. A slow smile touched her face as she responded with a nod, “I’ll do my best.” Her eyelids slowly shut her seemingly glowing eyes, putting her into sleep.

After a minute of Rise’s rest, Hina clutched her arms to her chest, her knees clasping together. She used her hair to hide her downward gaze from Rise, sweats falling down her face for every swallow she made, whispering, “What do I do now?”

I trusted her words when she said everything’s going to be alright. It was only true for me… But not for them.

After three days, Rise’s sickness was gone. The rays of the sun shone through her room’s window instead of the lit off lantern. A normal day greeted her when she stood on her bed in full energy… Or so it seems. Hina wasn’t there. Within a few steps, Rise reached the desk containing a note from Hina stating,

‘I’m sorry, Rise. Mom won’t be coming back from hospital. I’ll try my best to find a job. Please stay with Mom for now.’

Disregarding the address written in the note, Rise didn’t prepare for departure and rushed towards the nearest hospital. She tried catching her rasping breath when she reached the hospital counter, her just-recovered stamina nearly depleting, shouting, “Where’s Mother!?”

The nurses hastily took Rise towards the emergency room. As the doors opened, Rise’s eyes bulged, the sight of her unconscious mother surrounded by numerous medical equipment forced her not to blink. She squeezed her eyes shut, moaning, whimpering, then screaming…

If that incident didn’t happen, would we still have a normal life?