Dio - Progress (1)

Brela and Dio didn’t talk any further about what had happened on the slope, and Dio had to promise her it would stay between them. As the days went by, however, he still sometimes struggled to resist the urge to slip into the forest again, cut off from the others, and try to uncover the laws the Dream was hiding. Brela had been right: something strange and terrifying had nearly broken out of him. She had said he had taken a risk, a terrible one. She had been afraid of him…

It pained Dio to know he had unsettled her so deeply, and that alone was reason enough for him to take another step back and think carefully about how to handle the situation.

Since he couldn’t go to Brela, he asked Des instead.

“That’s hard to say when I don’t know more. If you don’t want to tell me, I’m sure you have your reasons, though it doesn’t make it easier to help you,” the farmer said thoughtfully, setting down his work and leaning on one of the hoes Yorm had handed out to the fieldworkers.

“I know. I only want you to understand one thing: I’m not holding it back because I don’t trust you. I promised Brela I wouldn’t speak of it,” Dio stressed.

Des scratched his forehead and looked up at the Sun, just starting its daily climb over the horizon. At the mention of Brela’s name, Dio noticed a faint flush creep onto his cheeks.

Why don’t you ask him yourself, Brela? Dio wondered silently, though he said nothing.

“I know, Dio. I trust you! She does too, so it must be something truly important… and maybe dangerous.”

“Yes.”

“Can’t you try to deal with your problem in small steps?”

Dio thought about it briefly. “No, not really. If I did that, there’d be no turning back, I think…”

In his mind flickered the faint blindness that hadn’t fully left him since the day on the slope, gently trying to push itself back into focus.

“You could distract yourself, maybe with some work? You like trying out new tasks and trades, don’t you? And I wouldn’t say ‘no’ to another roll either,” Des said with a grin, giving him a wink, though his hands fidgeted nervously with the hoe in a way that seemed unusual for him.

Dio nodded. “Maybe that really would help. Brela also told me I should enjoy the conversations I get to have here. Maybe I’ll go see Lot again, or Wes, or someone else. Yorm’s always organizing things; maybe I can learn something from him…”

Des gave a quiet nod and turned back to the furrow he had been carving into the soil.

Dio still wasn’t sure whom he wanted to speak with. It wasn’t that he disliked spending time with Daw’s other residents; on the contrary, he simply didn’t know where to begin. For a moment he considered going to Lot, who now seemed to spend nearly all his time crafting tools for farming and other trades.

What if he asks me to help him? To make tools myself if I start asking about his methods? Dio wondered, deciding not to take that risk for now.

I could help Yorm with planning the harvest and organizing the Tenner Festivals. Wouldn’t that only make me think too much? And leave me open to what stirs inside me? That wouldn’t be wise, not yet…

Instead, he wandered through the settlement with an open gaze until he stopped beside a small dwelling where the energetic Avee lived. Her long reddish-blond hair, flowing all the way down to her hips, stirred in every passing breeze, yet she paid no mind to the strands that whipped across her face while she worked. He had been here a few days earlier to thank her for the fur clothing she had made for him, though he still preferred the linen he had arrived in.

“Still wearing those stinking rags?” she scolded, narrowing her eyes at his shirt with open disapproval as she looked up from the hide she was working.

“Yes. They remind me of… my arrival,” he replied, his thoughts drifting for a moment to the bright light within him, which by now seemed to have found a home far away as well.

“Sentimental? That’s rare! Most people don’t give a second thought to their first moments near the stream. Why do you?”

Dio shrugged, and for that he earned a cup of chamomile tea before he quite realized what had happened.

“Now tell me!” Avee demanded, setting back to work, her quick hands darting over the hide, her auburn eyes fixed on him. Through the gentle steam rising from his cup, Dio studied her almost fragile frame, her fingers flying across the fur.

“Well, Avee, when I arrived, there was someone else. Someone important to me,” he began, trying to describe the situation without going too deep into detail.

“Someone? Come on, be clearer than that!” she pressed, tossing the hide with a sudden turn so that her hair tumbled into a brief, tangled chaos.

Dio nodded quickly. “A… friend. I arrived with her, but she left. With the Sages. She had an incredible gift for the light,” Dio explained, taking another sip of tea.

“Go on, go on! For heaven’s sake, don’t make me drag it all out of you! Why didn’t you go with her?” Avee sighed in a tone that tried to sound neutral, though she leaned toward him with unconcealed interest.

“Well, I had no talents, and I didn’t want to stand in her way. The Sages told me she first had to walk her path alone, to find herself, and that I would hinder that journey. I wanted to help her, not hold her back! Her Lucidity is powerful, glorious, and dangerous,” Dio concluded.

Avee shook her head. “Oh, that’s kind of you. And wise, I suppose. Elga knows what she’s talking about. I’ve rarely met her, mostly only when she passed by to greet the newcomers and gather the Lucids, but she was always so careful. She radiated experience and calm…”

After a pause, Avee nodded, mostly to herself.

“A good woman indeed. So that’s why you’re still wearing those rags—to remember your friend,” she added, wrinkling her nose.

Dio shifted uneasily from one foot to the other and fished one of the chamomile leaves out of his tea.

“I wash them every other day,” he said defensively.

Avee shrugged. “That’s your choice. I kind of understand it, though. I like to think clothes carry memories,” she laughed.

Dio couldn’t help but smile. Talking with people really did feel good. His thoughts grew clearer, and he even had the impression that the distant emptiness pulled a little farther away from him.

“That sounds lovely. Why do you believe that?” he asked, tilting his head.

For the first time she paused, her eyes lowering to the hide, which by now had almost taken the shape of a boot.

How can she shape it like that with only a bone needle? What does she think of as she sews? What pictures does she see while…

Dio drove the thoughts away as the blindness stretched its head again inside his mind.

“Maybe I just want my work to matter?” Avee smiled, and soon her hands were flying over the fur boot again, making the final adjustments.

“I don’t know. Are you sure?” Dio asked carefully.

“Of course, why else would I say such things? But maybe there’s more. In the end, we always carry our clothes with us. Maybe a little of us rubs off on them…”

Dio looked down at himself. “Maybe that’s why, in the beginning, we’re all dressed the same. Gray and plain, because we…”

“…don’t have any memories yet? Just something to cover us, to keep us from meeting each other ashamed of our nakedness? Yes, maybe. Who really knows,” Avee said with a small grin. “In the end it doesn’t matter that much to me. I just want to enjoy my work and keep enjoying it. I never thought much about it before the Sun came, but lately the idea keeps slipping into my mind. Since then I’ve wanted to try making more than fur boots, day in and day out. Something new…”

“Have you ever thought about the circle, while that question was stirring in you?” Dio asked even more cautiously.

So far, the mention of the symbol had always started something, and he was curious to see if it would again.

This isn’t an attempt, is it? I’m not toying with anything. I’m not changing anything! I’m only asking… out of simple interest… Dio defended himself inwardly as his promise to Brela pressed back into his awareness.

Avee looked down and lifted the bone needle, a fibrous thread dangling from it, clearly made from the fine grasses growing near the streams around the settlement. Dio couldn’t make out much of the small tool; its surface was a grayish white, and the tip seemed slightly rounded.

“Hm, yes, maybe… Something white… Cloth? A roll of fabric, wound up? From the side, a circle with patterns… that would be something,” she mused, closing her eyes with relief.

“Thank you, Dio. I should have thought of it myself, as often as I look up at the Sun. But sometimes a fresh perspective helps. Even if it comes from someone whose clothes are anything but fresh…” she said softly, with a small chuckle.

“I’m very curious to see what you’ll make next. I’ll come by again in due time and have a look. Maybe you’ll even manage something new by then… if you put in the effort?” he teased, and quickly made his escape before she could hurl the boot at him.