Chapter 3

I scrambled back, taking off into the night, and she knew better than to try to stop me. Only later did she tell me her story, and I understood why she had let me leave.

The pressure behind my eyes intensified with every step I took, until I collapsed on the cold ground, slapping my face again and again in the hope that I could rip the wolf from me. But my agitation only made it more present, and I froze with fear when I realised that my screams began to resemble the howls of a monster rather than a human.

She had followed me at a distance, staying out of sight, and when I was too exhausted to howl and cry any more, she came over, laying a blanket on my bruised body, and sitting down next to me. I didn’t care any more, and I lay there sobbing, but as the night slowly gave way to the new dawn, I found her presence somehow comforting, even if I would never have told her so.

“How are you doing?”, she asked.

I frowned at her.

“Leave me alone…”

She sighed.

“You would have died there if I didn’t do it…”

“I don’t care. It would have been better than this!”

“Would it?

Her wolf eyes looked into mine, giving me the chills, but I lashed out yet again,

“It is your fault. You’re a monster! Just leave me alone!”

She stayed silent through my outburst, watching me with a mix of resignation and sadness. Later, I would deeply regret those words and wish I could somehow take them back, but back then, I didn’t care.

“If you really want to…”, she whispered without looking at me.

She got up, and a pang of fear shot through me, and I stared around wildly. The hills I had climbed yesterday loomed in the distance. We must be on the other side. Relieved, I scrambled up, realising I was so close to home. Even in my state, I was sure that I could make my way back to my family…

Home… I froze, and the presence behind my eyes intensified. I was a monster, I couldn’t go back…. The realisation struck me and a long howl escaped my mouth, but I didn’t care any longer. I couldn’t go back… I collapsed on the ground and cried.

“At least come and take your belongings from the camp…”, she said.

“What’s the point?”, I sobbed.

She sighed and sat down next to me again.

“Come, you must be hungry and tired…”

She was right, and my body kept reminding me about it, but I still ignored her. She watched the sun slowly rising on the horizon, and I glanced at her. She wore a worn-out poncho tied around her waist with a scarf. Her feet were bare, but nothing about her looked inhuman, except her eyes.

Did I look the same or…? I shivered at the thought and ran my hands over my body. No fur… It was just my eyes and the pressure I felt behind them. The wolf had a will of its own, and I fought hard to ignore its demands..

“She is also hungry…”, she said quietly.

I shivered at her words. Why did she need to remind me about it? I hated it. I hated what I had become.

“I don’t care”

She turned to me.

“She saved you.”

I felt my anger rising.

“I didn’t ask for it!”

She watched me in silence for a moment, and I shivered under her gaze.

“Don’t teach her to hate humans. She can push you away as you push her”

A cold chill ran down my spine, but I was still too disgusted by the idea of letting it do anything, so I ignored its demands.

“What’s your name?”, I asked, more to distract it than anything else, but to my dismay, I could feel it was happy with my question.

“Luna”, she smiled, and before I had a chance to give her my name, she continued, “It is our tradition to let the spirit choose your new name. You are no longer who you used to be”

I frowned and looked away.

“I am Esmeralda”, I said quietly.

She sighed and got up.

“Let’s eat, all of us are hungry”

I frowned, annoyed, but she was right, I was starving. I got up and resisted its urge to stretch.

I adjusted the blanket around me and followed her, surprised by how good I felt, considering my night ordeal. The camp wasn’t far, and soon, I saw the fireplace and two horses tied to a tree. Falcon. I rushed over to him, but he stepped back and raised his ears.

“He will get used to you”, she said, walking over to the fire and poking the embers with a stick before adding some wood and sitting down on the ground.

I sat down, glancing at Falcon as he tried to get away as far from us as the rope allowed him, while the other horse remained calm. I sighed and looked down. Home… But before my thoughts brought me to tears, Luna put some meat on the hot coals, and the smell of food grabbed our attention.

I waited for it with growing impatience, and when it was ready, we devoured it instantly without waiting for it to cool down. Luna looked at me and chuckled.

“Finally, both of you agree on something.”

Her words made me freeze, and I looked at her and frowned.

“I was hungry, nothing more”, I said and tried to push the wolf away.

She shook her head and kept eating, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I could feel how it pushed harder to come out, but I still managed to ignore its demands. I had more important things to think about now when I had realised I couldn’t go back … What should I do now?