Journey

Heavy were the shoulders of Jabez, whose body ached with sickness and guilt. He pushed on, knowing he had to, but inside, he felt cold. Oh so cold... Visions of comrades and enemies both plagued his mind. Visions of fire, of blood, chaos, and tears. He saw visions of Seela using the last of her strength to ensure their enemy was defeated. He saw visions of Aurora slipping through his fingers. And then... He wondered. He had convinced himself that killing the enemy was the answer. After all, if a victimizer was dead, they couldn’t hurt anyone else. But... What about people who hadn’t crossed that line? Aurora was complacent and didn’t do anything about the slave trade, but she didn’t like it either. Ozahl wanted to try and fix the system from within, even if that took countless years of careful planning and political machinations. Things weren’t black and white, even if Jabez wanted them to be. Much like the clouds overhead that blotted out the sun, everywhere he looked was nothing but grey, grey, grey.

The thoughts were frustrating, but perhaps necessary. It was not as if he could kill everyone that disagreed with him. That was foolish at best and dangerous at worst. He never wanted to become a tyrant. He just wanted to help people. But how could he help when the very thing he wanted to change was so ingrained in this society? Basic human empathy should have been enough, but there was clearly more beneath the surface. History, bias, prejudice, complacency, apathy, self-preservation. In his own world, it took an entire civil war to overturn slavery in the US. Even then, years later, there were people who dug their heels in and waved the Confederate Flag. And for what? Because they were still mad? That was impossible, right? The Civil War was over a century and a half ago by his recollection, and humans barely made it past 70 or 80 years of age. Simply put... Ideas, beliefs, and the inherent prejudice that came along with them were not simply changed overnight. On the contrary, they sowed their seeds every generation, perpetuating the cycle of violence.

So what am I fighting for? thought Jabez, staring down at his own reflection. He washed his gaunt face with cold river water, feeling the chill in his very bones. He understood now why his grandmother complained about air conditioning back when she was still alive. Without muscle and fat, all you had was skin. In a way, that’s all his ambitions were: skin-deep. Enough for show, but not enough for longevity. Too little too late, he realized he may have killed the very man who could have been his greatest ally. Ozahl was wise, knowledgeable about this world, curious, and he even went out of his way to protect Jabez when he needed to. Ozahl was right to criticize Jabez and to stand up to him. If Jabez continued as he was, most likely the capital of Leonia would become a bloodbath akin to the French Revolution. But... Violence had saved lives. It did protect people he cared about. He had saved Kela and the remnants of the Bone Splitter Clan from extermination. He saved Iris, Akari, and all those other slaves he took from Ramvic. What he needed was a steady hand, one that could direct his fury towards the right people. Someone like Demetra.

“Are you rested enough?” asked the Ajinian.

“I am. Let’s continue,” replied Jabez.

With Demetra in the lead, Jabez and the others crossed fields and forests, rolling hills and rivers of azure. Jabez saw a waterfall cascade over jutting pink crystals, and its mist soothed his aching body when he breathed it in. He saw birds with four wings flying overhead, hunting for insects that blended perfectly with the very grass they ate. He saw one-eyed mammals with bodies like caterpillars, scurrying up trees and foraging for nuts and berries. And he saw rats in the field... Which was more than passing strange. Was it possible that things from his realm slipped into Elonia by accident, or were they brought here? And if so... Why? Whatever their origin, it didn’t matter in the moment. What mattered was the journey forward.

“Thank you for the help, Iris,” smiled Jabez as the girl held his hand.

“Of course. It’s no trouble at all,” she smiled in turn.

“If I may ask... Do you remember anything about your family? From before you were taken.”

“Not much. I was swaddled in furs, but the vision is still so vivid in my mind. Flashing lights, shattering stone. Kortu like to build homes into the hills, but I think my home was... Brick? Something above ground. I don’t know who was with me other than mother. I still remember how much it hurt being ripped out of her hands,” Iris said, looking at her own calloused digits.

“Sorry for reminding you...”

“Don’t be,” Iris shook her head. “Even if the memory hurts, it’s the only memory I have of mother. No matter what, I can’t forget that. If I hold onto it, maybe one day I’ll recognize her, and we can be together again.”

“One can only hope.”

As the group climbed over a rugged hill of dirt, roots, and stone, Iris pulled Jabez’s arm and helped him up.

“If that day ever comes... Will you be sad when I go?”

“To live with your mother? Maybe... But just because you would live with her doesn’t mean it would be goodbye. I could visit. I could tell you stories. I could even help around the house if your mother let me. I wouldn’t mind at all.”

“I hope we all get to see peaceful days like that,” said Demetra. “Remember to stay vigilant until then.”

“I will!” said Iris with her serious face. “I’ve learned much from you, Demetra. I will try to be vigilant and brave as you have.”

“Can Gatu visit too?” asked the young goblin. “Gatu loves running with Iris!”

“Of course. I’d love nothing more.”

“Hooray! Gatu and Iris, friends for life!”

Jabez watched the two children press their hands together. It was a pleasant, calming sight. He wondered if this is how his mother and father felt when they saw Jabez and his siblings at play. He then noticed that Kela was watching the children as well, and when their eyes met, Kela flashed him with that same smile she had before, her sharp canines on full display.

“Kela looks forward to meeting mother of Iris,” said the goblin matriarch. “Would love to share stories and compare shinies.”

“Now that Aba think about it,” the young goblin girl rubbed her chin, “What will clan do once times are peaceful? Can Aba live on surface like tallmen do?”

“I’ll make sure you can,” said Jabez.

“Me too!” said Yev, Aba’s older brother. “Yev will fight if need be!”

Jabez couldn’t help but smile when the siblings interacted. While his attention was always drawn to Kela and her son Gatu, he admired Yev for being as protective of his sister as he was. It was yet another sign that whatever differences there were between humans and goblins was superficial. Perhaps they had different values and priorities, but it was still strange that goblins were treated so harshly, even compared to other races in Elonia. What was it that drove the Ramthians to hate and detest others so fervently? Did it have to do with the 50 Year War? Jabez wasn’t sure, and frankly, he didn’t care. Even if all the other races were somehow terrible to humans in the past, swapping roles was no way to punish another’s sins. It only meant that when the pendulum swung the other way, the downtrodden side would be that much harsher to the other. But then again... Humans were always like that, weren’t they? How many age-old conflicts over borders and religion were taking place even now back in his realm? There were so many different people and cultures clashing all over Earth that he found it impossible to keep up with, even when he tried.

Is it in our very nature to hate that which is different from us? If so, how did we ever get along in the first place?

Jabez thought about all the stories, shows, movies, and games he had consumed in his past life. If there was one thing that always stood out to him, it was how he, along with other fans, tended to gravitate towards the non-human. The other. Elves, dwarves, goblins, orcs, dragons, hell, even demons. There were countless works of fiction and art from all over the world that put non-humans on a pedestal. Not to mention all the anthropomorphic animals that were so popular on the internet...

Humans seemed simultaneously repelled and attracted to the other. Did it even make sense? Did it have to make sense? Jabez was no philosopher, but he had a feeling that, perhaps, nothing in life really made that much sense. People were complicated. Loving, self-serving, hateful, curious, all rolled into one, and when a bunch of them were bounced off of each other, those people latched onto the ideas that appealed to them the most. So if Jabez wanted to truly change the people of Ramtha, he’d have to find a way to make the alternate more appealing. Of course there would be opposition, as well as enemies he couldn’t convince to change sides. But maybe if he learned to turn the other cheek when it mattered most, maybe then he could really make a difference.

I wonder... Jabez contemplated a certain figure from his religious upbringings. Did you share these thoughts when you wandered the deserts?

“Jabez,” said Demetra.

“Hmm? What is it?”

“We’re here.”

Jabez found himself at the foot of the mountain. He turned his head to look upwards, spying small, walkable paths that ended in nothing. This was not going to be an ordinary hike. He would have to climb this mountain, even with his withered body. But... He wasn’t alone. He had Kela, Gatu, Aba, Yev, and Iris. Demetra had shown him the way to the mountain. Now it was up to him and his friends to scale it.

“Is this where we part ways?” asked Jabez.

“It is... For now,” said Demetra. “But even when rivers part, they may find their way to the same sea. We will meet again, and soon I hope.” Demetra then got on one knee, placing a hand upon Jabez’s head. “For one so young, your thoughts are heavy. But only because your heart is so great. I may not know what weighs on your mind, but I saw your eyes. I felt your turmoil. Do you remember what I told you after our first day of training?”

“To think not of the past, for we have so much future left to see.”

“Exactly.” Demetra then cupped Jabez’s chin in her right hand and leaned in for a kiss. So surprised by the sudden gesture that Jabez froze. After she pulled away, Demetra said, “For now, you are still a needy boy. But I can tell you will be a great man one day. Let love be your guide. We have already seen where hate leads us.”

“I... I will.” Jabez glanced at the others for a moment. Iris was just as shocked as he was, covering her blushing face with her hands. Kela seemed pleased though, perhaps because to her kind, a kiss was more friendly than loving. Either way, Demetra had made no such claims about her own culture. So a kiss from her was... Unexpected to say the least, but not unwelcome. After he gathered himself, he said, “How will I find you when the time comes?”

“We plan on placing marks within the city to help guide members of the Hidden Grove in case they lose their way. Small enough to evade notice from guards, but striking enough for you and others to recognize. Seek the green crescent, and you’ll find us again.”

“The green crescent... Got it.”

“One more thing,” said Demetra, standing up. “When I asked you to think not of the past, never will such words mean more than here. This mountain sits atop where many ley lines meet. The barrier between the living world and the other side is... Thinner here. You may see things when you climb the mountain. Things you do not wish to see. You must do your best to ignore them.”

“I will.”

“Then I’ll leave you all to it. I wish you the very best.”

“You as well,” said Jabez. “Safe travels.”

With that, Demetra and the others parted ways. The path before Jabez was laid bare. No matter what, reaching the jurou of the mountain would be hard. Perhaps it would be the hardest thing he had ever done. But if it meant finding his strength again, if it meant meeting with the others and fighting for a better tomorrow, it would all be worth it. So he put his best foot forward, grabbed hold of the rock... And climbed.