Crystallized Intelligence

I should have known that my streak of good nights’ sleep would end eventually. And it happened the first night when I had a proper bed to sleep on again. The twilight silence not only sensitized me to the slightest of noises outside, from water dripping to leaf shaking, but the internal happenings in my mind also took this opportunity to come to the forefront.

If it were only empty sensations like pain or serenity, I could still handle it. The incoherent mumblings of what I assume was Coyote’s voice provided me relief more than horror. The newly printed thoughts were the ones to watch out for. How can I feel nothing about losing an arm? Something inside me must have been broken. Psychology had warped me into an unfeeling machine, as the tiny glimpse of truth had done to Res.

Knowledge had never helped me in my past life either. It didn’t find me a job; it didn’t help me deal with the professor; it didn’t get me any friends. I could only call the search for facts a desperate grasp for certainty. The term for it was the need for cognitive closure.

In the end, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Cyrus said, and as much as I tried to, I couldn’t find a sound reason to dismiss his request. My track record of giving advice to Lyla was terrible. Ruining her wedding too was the last thing I wanted.

“Are you awake?” I asked with the hunch that Sabedra was also awake.

Sure enough, I was right. “What do you want to ask?” She said energetically. You would never guess that it was the middle of the night.

“Can we go back to raid Nautia? You can take the entire city and save everyone all by yourself. Beating up Res would be easy for you.”

“Why should I? There’s no benefit for me and all the risk. You said that the woman used magic to change memories. Who knows what else she can do?” Throughout the trip to Melhnora, I had already asked multiple times for her help to save the city, but she refused every time.

“People are being kept there against their will.” I tried to argue my case more thoroughly this time; I had the whole night to spare.

“Are their lives in danger?”

“I think they will be.”

“Do you understand how massive an issue it is for a dragon to attack a city?”

“I thought you would love the attention.”

“Not if the attention involves getting an army marched to my doorstep. That is what attacking a city unprovoked would cause. If they attack me first, then that will be a different story.” With that, I got a new challenge: to trick Sabedra into thinking that Res attacked her.

“And I will know if you try to deceive me,” Sabedra suddenly added. I sat up in a panic, wondering how Sabedra read my mind.

Before I could say anything, Sabedra went even further: “And you want to know how I read your mind.” All the while lying on her bed, eyes closed. If her mouth weren’t moving, no one would guess that she was awake.

“The answer is simple. I know because I’m Sabedra, the Dragon of Knowledge!” Sabedra’s body jerked up a little in her exclamation. Her excitement was entirely unfounded; a lucky guess shouldn’t deserve this much emotion. My skin crawled from cringing. Treating her seriously was my mistake.

I calmed myself and lay back down. Her carefree attitude rubbed me the wrong way. Worse, she might look forward to the upcoming wedding ceremony. I saw how she reacted to the typical cuisine here. She could have left after bringing me here, but she stayed without me asking her to. All signs pointed to the conclusion that every humdrum detail here would be a novel experience for her.

“What is the purpose of knowing things? I think I asked something similar before, but you never answered me,” I asked. All I could do now was discourage her as much as possible. First, by diving into her insecurity: her compulsive reliance on knowledge.

My plan seemed to be working even more smoothly than expected. A quiet followed my question. The thought of defeating Sabedra occupied my mind so that other darker thoughts couldn’t take over amidst that void of stimulus.

Just when I thought she had fallen asleep, she spoke up. “Do you really want to know the answer?” The passion in her voice seemed to have doubled.

“Why would I ask if I don’t want to know?” I wouldn’t let her stall anymore.

To my surprise, she instantly replied this time: “Knowledge is how magic can even work. We have to understand the natural order to change it. Do you know that fire is not actually a substance but an action? That there is an invisible fluid surrounding us, which is a mixture of different substances like water, and is what we need to breathe in all the time to not die? That the body is a complicated contraption that would be damaged during illness and death? If we didn’t know all this, we wouldn’t have fire, wind, and healing magic.”

Did she think that overloading me with information could shut me up? I racked my brain for any inconsistencies in her claims.

“Wait a second, then what about animals? I don’t think a shifter has the intelligence to understand anything.”

“Some beasts have the inborn ability to store and use mana.”

“So it is much better to be a mindless beast. You just proved my point.”

“Not necessarily. Intelligent creatures might need to learn how to use their mana, but the magic we can use is more flexible. Some intelligent creatures are also born with magical abilities. I can use some fire and wind magic without learning them.” That might also be the case for Lyla’s superhuman healing, maybe even for my psychic abilities.

“What about me? I can’t use any magic. You said it yourself,” I said, retreating from my losing argument. The more Sabedra extolled the virtues of intelligence, the pain in my chest only intensified.

“You should be able to consume the mana from those you are linked with. And you need to understand them to do that. To know them. And thus, knowledge is necessary.”

“If magic is so great, then how can I use it to fix Lyla’s problems? How can I help myself choose the right words?” I was practically screeching at this point. My words barely maintained any coherence.

“I’m sorry. You need to know which part of the natural order you want to change first. The bigger the change, the more mana you need. Magic cannot grant vague wishes.” This was the first time I had heard Sabedra sound so apologetic.

“Then what should I do? What can I do? She is getting married tomorrow… No, it’s today. Midnight has passed already. So, what should I do?” I held my head in my only hand. Part of me wished that Sabedra would be compelled to give me an answer, any answer.

“I can’t answer these questions for you. Not because I don’t know their answers, I do know, but it’s something you have to figure out yourself using your knowledge.”

“That’s how I failed last time.”

“What are you going to use if not knowledge? You only have to find the knowledge that can help you.” Her comment left me with my thoughts, this time constructive ones.

Oh… I hate how she is right. Desperate for an explanation of why I failed to reach Lyla, I chose a convenient scapegoat. It was a familiar thought process to me in my past life: the belief that all the years I had dedicated to psychology and the truth of the human mind were a waste. I wanted someone to give me a last push so I could take the plunge into hell, as I lacked the courage to throw myself off.

And of course, Sabedra did something unanticipated again. She stared down hell and burned it down with an even bigger inferno, reassuring me that my knowledge must possess value, even if I didn’t know which nugget of wisdom would apply to my current issue. Maybe just this once, she deserved her title as the Dragon of Knowledge after all.

As tears leaked out of my closed eyes, I drifted into peaceful sleep for the rest of the night.

…

We spent the morning greeting the nobles of the city. It was tedious, and I couldn’t memorize the name of a single noble, but at least their gazes at me were friendlier than those of the average citizens. Actually, it was more accurate to describe them as calculated.

The mayor, who I learned was a viscount here, even gave me a heartfelt apology when he first saw me, without specifying what he was atoning for. He stared with sympathy at my right shoulder in particular. The sight of a child missing an arm would be heart-wrenching to anyone, but with the elf’s general dislike of children, I suspected that the mayor’s guilt was mainly over his efforts to demonize me behind my back. It was probably part of his plan to legitimize his son and Lyla’s union by giving the people a villain to hate. He never thought that I would actually show up.

Cyrus was with us throughout the meetings. His pleasant attitude and smile returned, but they looked faker than before since I had seen his true colors. He acted as if our chat last night had never happened. It was better this way, as I didn’t want to deal with the other version of Cyrus.

Sabedra very much enjoyed the attention, and I thought she might actually move to this city. The nobles didn’t hide their flattery at all, but she just kept eating it up like she did earlier when she ate a thirty-person portion breakfast. I could feel Cyrus cursing her behind his smile as he watched the food disappear.

“I’m judging the quality of the meals.” That excuse was flimsy, because I caught her eating the same dishes more than once.

She didn’t hold back at lunch either, shoving fifty servings down her throat like it was nothing. I had thought that she ate a lot when I watched how much she hunted during our trips, but she had been eating ten times as much since she had arrived at the city. Cyrus’s smile even twitched at some point, and he went to the corner of the room to give some discreet instructions to the butler. I couldn’t hear the entire conversation, but “wedding” and “food” were mentioned. And from that, I could pretty much guess what he said.

The wedding ceremony would take place in the afternoon. Cyrus’s mood seemed to have sunk lower when he learned that I would attend the ceremony. Still maintaining his pleasant exterior, he could only take his anger out on me by passive-aggressively commenting on how improper my grimy outfit was for such an important event.

He had a point; this had been what I was wearing since the day I found out that Res was the mastermind. My appearance was not much better than that of the homeless children I saw back in Nautia. I was surprised that I didn’t smell worse, or maybe I had just gotten used to the odor.

Cyrus ordered the staff at the mansion to give me a cream-yellow chiton, and they didn’t forget to give me a nasty look in the process. Mayor Whatever-Your-Name-Was, you can’t apologize and not clear up the rumors at the same time.

I washed off whatever scent I had on me in the mansion’s gigantic bath before I changed into the chiton. My single hand became more and more dexterous in these tasks, and I didn’t know whether I should feel joy or sorrow.

When I smoothed out the surface of the shabby outfit, I felt something in the trouser pocket: Lyla’s bow and arrow necklace. It escaped my mind that I still had that with me. I slipped it into a bag that I found in the guest room and secured the bag around my waist with a belt.

And with that done, I was ready for the ceremony.