Bandit Bash

Marching deeper into the natural cave, we moved quietly in a single-file line just as we been training. Aesandoral was up front, using her superior vision to navigate the darkness, acting as our eyes and ears while tracking our footsteps to ensure we weren't making too much noise. I followed behind her, a hand on her shoulder, ready to pull her back in the event her elven senses missed a trap or something unprecedented happened where a shield was needed. Behind both of us was Sharzin, who barely existed in the cave's dim light and was ready to jump into action at a moment's notice. Finally, Rionriv held the back, keeping an eye on the rear of us in the event the raiding party that was set to come in late the night before had yet to return.

Eventually, the soft steps of our feet against the rough stone floor of the cavern gave way to the quiet clacks of the tiled surface I had been waiting for. With a gentle squeeze of Aesandoral's shoulder, the archer took a knee and aimed her bow down the hall. The rest took up defensive positions as I withdrew a Daylight Orb and slipped it into the bullseye lantern I remembered that we had picked up from Phyllis's shoppe. Using the spotlight, I inspected this manmade transition, investigating the area with my critical eye. It didn't take me long to find what I was searching for along the ceiling.

With my staff, I poked at the small arcane contraption no bigger than a teacup near the stony transition. Giving the object a poke, I watched a dim crystal dislodge from the device, which appeared to have been smashed in at some point. With a quick step, I leapt forward, catching the object before it clattered to the ground, giving away our position. And then, with a hasty investigation, my theory had been confirmed.

As the story went, they busted the false image projector. I thought to myself before giving the signal to continue. We're on track with everything else we had planned. So that's good.

Gently patting Aesandoral's shoulder, she stood to her feet, and we continued walking. Our pace remained constant for several more minutes, marching with silent footsteps and quiet breaths. Eventually, the girl stopped before me, reaching back and tapping my hand twice, alerting me to something I had not yet seen. Focusing, I was slowly able to make out the faintest flicker of light painting the wall several hundred metres ahead.

It's time. I thought and took a deep breath.

Reaching up, I placed a finger to my temple and felt the cool sensation of my voice preparing to link up with my companions' minds.

“Zin, Aes,” I whispered in a barely audible breath. "Engage hostiles."

I then listened as the faintest footsteps pushed forward at a quick, coordinated stride. Rionriv and I continued at our own quiet pace behind the vanguard, bringing up the rear and watching as the dim light slowly became more apparent. By the time our human and kalish vision could distinguish that the approaching glow was torchlight, Operation First Strike was already over.

“Down.” Aesandoral’s voice spoke coolly in the back of my mind.

A chill cut through my body as I heard her quietly speak into my mind. Her voice, oddly alluring in that single whispered word, caused my heart to race. I gripped my chest firmly, feeling the thudding against my ribs as I tried to maintain a stable grip over my own devious desires.

Not now! I fought with myself, quieting my own inner lecher. It's life or death now. It's go time.

“Proceed to zone two and hold position,” I whispered as Rionriv, and I moved toward the light.

Rounding the corner, I saw the first two of many pig-snouted orcs with their large tusks and bulging muscles resting in a pool of blood. They wore long-sleeved shirts and waistcoats, cotton trousers, brimmed hats, and bandoliers loaded with small vials that I knew contained a variety of explosive, pre-casted spells.

Once again, my prediction had been correct. Bully the Kid's top four lackeys and their gang members were guarding the ringleaders' recently heisted stash of shimmer crystals. This meant that the vicious boss was indeed out terrorizing the hillsides around Squalls Crossing with his fifth lackey and her gang for the next few days.

"Ri, what are you doing?" I whispered as I watched her crouch down over the corpses.

"Looting these spell capsules." She snapped back quietly as she grabbed the bandoliers and slipped them over her shoulder.

"We'll come back once we're done."

"Better safe than sorry, right?"

"Fine," I whispered sharply. "But hurry it up."

We eventually passed beyond the makeshift barrier the bandits had created, stepping through into an open courtyard with two pillboxes carved out of the stone walls. Keeping to the sides, we snuck under the arrow slits where blissfully ignorant guards rested unaware of our presence before collectively slinking into the short hall with a set of double doors ahead of us.

In the tight space, Aesandoral and Sharzin waited with their ears to the partition blocking our progress. Tapping the two archers on the shoulder once we were in position, they backed away from the door and readied their bows. With that, Rionriv and I shifted to the side of them, gripping onto the handles and preparing ourselves. The sorceress counted us down, her fingers extending out in a smooth, silent motion. 

Three. Two. One. 

In unison, we swung the barrier open, revealing a large open chamber with a single door on the far side. Two guards immediately came to attention at the noise, but it was already too late for them. The moment the wooden door passed the tips of the archer's arrows, they released their shots. The projectiles flew toward the ill-prepared bandits, striking true and dropping both in an instant.

Unfortunately, one of the guards stumbled back off his feet, not yet dead despite an arrow through his throat and blood pouring down his chest. In pure reflex, he lifted his wand, expelling a bolt of fire that crackled through the air towards Sharzin.

Shit! I thought, as a snap decision overtook my body and pushed me past the door.

I rushed forward, taking hold of the rogue and pushing her behind me. Throwing up my arms, I channelled magic into them. Warmth pool in my forearms before, a moment later, a buckler of light appeared between me and the attack. The bolt of magical flame struck the shield, slowing significantly and dimming in intensity as it passed through the barrier before striking me. Taking the blast in stride as it clipped my shoulder, I grimaced as it singed my skin, shrugging off the pain as nothing worse than any of the other discomforts I had experienced in recent days.

Sharzin now poked herself out from behind the cover I provided to take her second shot. This time, the arrow flew true, lodging firmly into the back of the survivor’s head. His body tumbled over in an instant, crumpling to the ground with his ass up and blood spilling out over the stone.

“Stage Two,” I instructed quietly, motioning to everyone as they dispersed to their predetermined jobs. "Go."

Sharzin stepped back, pulling the door we had come through to a close. Immediately withdrawing a chain and lock, she began to wrap the handles of the exit before using a low-level scroll to add an extra layer of temporary arcane barricading. As of that moment, our group of budding murder hobos had guaranteed that no one was getting in or out of the dungeon without our approval. 

While she did that, Aesandoral and I began to search the walls that flanked the doorway for the secret passages I knew to be nearby. With her elven eyes and my general understanding of where the thresholds were supposed to be hidden, we made quick work of finding both entrances to the guarded pillboxes. With these found, we'd be able to quickly dispatch the bandits who drunkenly 'guarded' the entrance.

Still, as both of our groups worked, Rionriv had placed herself beside the door that the two guards we had most recently slain would have moved towards if they had been given the chance. From there, she listened through the thin slabs of wood, trying to hear if the commotion that our group had made had been enough to disturb the sleeping bandits beyond. Her job had been simple, and if they had mobilized, we all would have known the instant she murdered them with her magic.

But no magical assault came. And after a minute passed, we turned towards each other in a quiet confirmation that our tasks were completed. Regrouping near the pillbox entrances, we repeated our assault strategy. Moving forward with calculated motions, the archers were acting exactly as the Special Forces badasses they had been training to be.

I followed closely behind them as they moved up a short passage of steps into the first room, watching as two well-placed arrows split the skulls of the passed-out guards. As their bodies began to tumble, dropping the weapons and tankards that hung loosely in their hands, I slid into place beneath them. Snagging the noisy objects before they had a chance to clatter against the stone, I placed the items on the ground quietly.

"Nice save," Aesandoral whispered to me. "That could have been bad."

"Just doing my job," I replied and glanced at the other two. "Zin, Ri. Deal with the other pillbox while Aes and I find the secret door here."

There were no words as the two disappeared back down the steps leading to the room where we had first arrived. As they did, Aesandoral began to search the area that I had directed her to as I stared through the arrow slit of the guard post. Across the way, I could see the half-asleep bandit loosely eying the open courtyard that we had snuck through moments before. Suddenly, the man's head whipped forward, revealing an arrow lodged in the back of it. 

Sharzin's shadowy figure emerged through the opposite window slit as she pulled the body back into the pillbox. Looking at me, she stuck a hand out, giving me a thumbs up, which I quietly returned.

"Iz," Aesandoral then drew my attention back. "I found it."

The elf's hand rested against a particularly rough stone. Approaching her, I forcefully pushed the block forward, watching as it opened the hidden passage that even the bandits knew nothing of. With a gasp of air, the ancient backdoor opened, and we officially had our way in.

"Another guard down," Rionriv whispered as she climbed up the steps and looked towards us. "Is that our way in?"

"Yeah," I replied softly, looking over the three of them and the eager expressions on their faces. "We have fifteen more bandits. Four are in one location, playing cards. One is guarding the two hostages. And ten are in barracks beyond the last hallways."

"They're still sleeping it off." Rionriv acknowledged what she had heard through her door.

"Perfect. Let's make this Super Garrison Sweep fast and then get to the four Lieutenants before we do any looting. Cool?"

"Cool." All three replied to me as they prepared themselves.

"Alright, let's move."

Thanks to weeks of memorizing the facility's layout and what to expect in every room, even I felt that what we were doing was hardly fair. We were essentially catching the bandits before they had even woken from a night of drinking, meaning that not only were they asleep, even if they did awaken, they were hungover or, in some of their cases, still drunk. In fact, the clearing of the remaining fifteen bandits was so effortless that to say we were shooting fish in a barrel wouldn’t even qualify as accurate.

Beginning with the four drunken card players, we quickly pushed through the door into the dank room that reeked of sweat and soured ale. This time, I was through first, targeting the closest figure with my fists and thrusting his head down into the table long enough for a trio of arrows to fly overhead and find their marks. By the time his bloodied face rose from the shattered plate I had forced it into, the stakes of the game had already been lowered, and with a sharp chop to his throat, I crushed his windpipe. The sound of his gurgling breaths reached my ears in the moments before a fourth arrow found the back of his skull and silenced him.

Yeeeaah, that memory is going to be with me for a while. I thought, exhaling as I recalled the sound. No. No. These are rapists and murderers. They need to die. We're doing the right thing here.

"Iz, let's go." Rionriv whispered, pulling me from my moment of edging a panic attack. "Jail cell is next."

"Right," I responded and led the way to the next section. "Let's do it."

But the fight was over before I had even made it to the room. Rounding the corner, both Aesandoral and Sharzin were already standing at the edge of a rickety jail cell where a dishevelled blonde man and a frail woman with red hair both stared at their saviours with stunned expressions.

"Iz," Aesandoral beckoned me over. "Neither of them is looking too good."

Stepping up to the cage, I examined their weakened mundane bodies. Both of them wheezed gently, grabbing at their chests and rubbing at the darkened bags beneath their eyes. Even at a glance, I could see that they were drenched in sweat and appeared barely able to hold themselves up.

"Agreed," I said softly before looking at them. "How long have you both been trapped here?"

"Weeks." The man said as his words triggered a coughing fit.

I watched as he soaked his hands with blood before stumbling backwards to the ground. My heart immediately began to race as I stared over the two of them.

"Chest pains?" I asked them. "Trouble breathing? Fever? Fatigue? How long have you been coughing blood?"

"For at least two, maybe three weeks." The woman spoke softly before coughing as well. "And it's getting worse."

"Iz," Sharzin quietly asked as she approached my side. "Do you know what it is?"

"Yeah..." I whispered. "Tuberculosis. Both of you, come here."

Reaching through the rails, I placed my hands on the chests of both the man and the woman. I channelled magic into my palms, focusing on my detoxifying spell as I felt the energy transfer from me to them. Instantly, I watched as they took a deep breath before relaxing.

"W-what did you do?" The man asked. "I-I can breathe."

"I saved you," I replied with a smile before reaching into my bag and pulling out rations for both of them. "Now, just stay here. We need to kill the rest of the bandits. Then we will send you on your way, okay?"

Both nodded excitedly as they stared down at the food we had given them before I turned to face my companions, who stared at me with smirks.

"What?"

"Good guy, Ishara," Rionriv said from behind her crossed arms and soft smirk. "Maybe you aren't such a bad guy after all?"

"Or maybe, I'm a hypochondriac. Now come on, let's finish murdering everyone."

Everything had gone as planned, all the way down to the rescue of the two trapped villagers who had been taken hostage. Room by room, we ensured that the rest of the makeshift garrison was cleared before finally entering the barracks. The ten remaining lives there were the easiest to take. Drunken bandits, strewn across the floor, too out of it to fight back as Sharzin, Aesandoral, and I slaughtered them without waking a single one. And while I felt terrible doing it, I continued to remind myself that they had each done much worse in their lives. All of which I knew since I had written it.

I'm just balancing the scales. I kept reminding myself as I walked from one body to the next. I'm just...I'm making the world a better place. Yeah. I-I'm not the bad one here. These guys were the evil ones.

Before long, the final task was at hand as we stood outside the room where the four Lieutenants slept. Looking to my allies a final time, we readied ourselves and, with a shove, I pushed the door in. That was when reality slapped my hero complex in the face. 

I quickly realized that there were not four figures sleeping in a circle around the edge of this room. But instead, a single, large frame resting in a sagging bed.

Oh, crap! I immediately began to panic, knowing exactly what I was looking at. Bully the Kid is here and not his lackeys.