"Belgian"

"Welcome back class, I hope you all enjoyed your winter break, but it's now time to get back to work. Open your student handbooks to page one-ninety-three..." Mr. Fanisilov addresses the class for the first time this semester, there is a clear disappointment felt throughout the room to get started on work so quickly. Then Mr. Fanisilov addresses again, "Oh shit, before I forget I need to do attendance."

The start of both semesters of school always begins with each teacher in each classroom taking actual audible attendance rather than just writing down who they see later on. It's nothing new, it happened in my middle school as well, however as Mr. Fanisilov goes through the list of attendance, I notice something different. I state my, 'here,' response when my name is called, and as he continues to call out students I overhear a new name being called.

"Luciana Juarez." Mr. Fanisilov calls.

I don't usually pay attention to the attendance call after my name is said, however this name caught me. I felt like a fishing hook had dug into me and I fight with inevitability in my demise. 'Luciana,' I say to myself, that is a beautiful name. I must know who it belongs to. I scan the room to find its owner.

An unfamiliar girl then answers his call, "Present." She says with a Spanish-speaking accent.

A gorgeous Latina sits in the same row of seats as me. She speaks with an angelic and rich accent. Her voice is quite comforting to hear, I never expected to be greeted like this on the first day.

Now naturally, I'm most likely 'overhyping' this girl, however, I have this curiosity to find out who she is as a person. In my thoughts I realize that maybe I shouldn't be so focused on a random new girl. However, I admit that her looks and her sound have caught my eye, and I might be a little distracted thinking about it for the rest of the period. I should focus on class instead.

I'm in my homeroom, we are going over graduation expectations in the student handbook. As I think this to myself, I find my eyes wandering to my left where the new girl is seated. She is paying diligent attention to what the teacher is explaining, this means she must be smart.

Damnit.

I catch myself thinking about her again, this is so stupid, I should not be focusing on a girl right now. I'm so stupid.

Her face is symmetrical, her hair is luscious; long, wavy, brunette and smooth. She has nice brown eyes that compliments her hair, and her skin tone is slightly more dark than fair.

What the fuck am I thinking?

Alright, I have a new goal for today, a mental adventure if you will; get this fucking girl out of my head. I'm rational, and my rationality is telling me that I would never have a chance of even striking small talk with a girl like her. I need to keep telling myself I'm too ugly, that will destroy my sense of hope...and most likely destroy my sense of pride.

Oh my fucking shit I just want to rip something off of my body.

I'm overreacting, she's good looking, but there is nothing more for me to see...

I was dead wrong.

In our wonderful homeroom that we shared, alone with our English class, and our Geometry class, and our fucking Music Theory class, she excelled at all of those subjects. Who the fuck is this girl? She is the dream student for every teacher, this girl is the one who will single-handedly save each classroom. She does everything in a calm manner too, whether it be participating verbally, or writing something on the board, this girl is attractive. I thought I was smart, I was always under the impression that I was of a higher intellect than most..., now I just look like a meth addict compared to Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

I need to retain my self-control.

"Hey, what's up Johnny." It is lunchtime now and my friend Nathan greets me at the table while the others fill in.

Without even getting to respond, Miles chimes in, "I do not know about you all, but I saw this fine ass girl walk past me this morning. I think she is a new student here." Miles establishes the conversation.

"Johnny, have you seen the new girl?" Nathan asks me.

"What?" I play it off and act surprised, "What new girl?" I hope that there is a slim chance Nathan is talking about another new girl.

"Luciana," Nathan says the words of my nightmare, "She's so good looking." I give him another surprised look.

"Yeah," I say with a false sense of ignorance, "I believe I have her in my geometry class." I know I have her in my geometry class. "She seems really smart, but I didn't take too much notice." I add.

"You know..." Nathan states menacingly, "I can imagine you being with her." Nathan's futile attempt to strike me down was futile.

I feel rather attacked, however I remain calm, "Oh come on man, she's just some new girl, I haven't even spoken to her yet." I shrug it off the best that I can. I think she's attractive, that's it, that's all I think. I am going to keep from initiating anything with her because I will not use her as an object for lust.

"I think you should start talking to her." Nathan adds in. He is unusually persistent about it.

I feel like my life is starting to become a high school drama. I probably watched too much television over the winter, but right now this feels so familiar to something you might see in a movie or on TV. Maybe Luciana has taken notice to me? I am usually a prominent figure in my classroom because I always speak up and present. Especially in my geometry class where even today I went up to do a problem on the board. She could have taken notice to these things.

I speculated, but then I was put into shock.

"You're Johnny right?" I hear that soft voice call out for me. Right behind me stood Luciana Juarez.

She is approaching me, in front of my friends, during lunch time. She is approaching me. I never been in such shock.

"Uh...yeah." I say awkwardly. I can't give a more excitable reply, my emotional wall wouldn't let me and I am still in shock. Miles and Nathan are staring at me with intensity I don't believe I've witnessed before. They are also in shock, but most definitely envious.

"You made a thorough explanation in class earlier." Luciana speaks to me about my presentation in Geometry class when I simply explained my process for solving an equation. Of course I used all the vocabulary necessary for a good explanation, but knowing this school that was a college level lecture compared to other students.

"Thank you." I respond to her statement. I don't want to sound nihilistic or self-centered, so I don't comment further about her compliment.

"I was wondering if you could help tutor me?" She puts down a request. "I haven't been doing so well in understanding the first chapter since I'm new here." She explains her situation in a kind yet socially awkward way. She seems to have some difficulties interacting with other people. She stands with her hands behind her back and he face looking away from my eyes.

I ponder the request for a moment. I can definitely sense the nervousness in her syntax when asking the question. I assume she is putting full effort not to come off as weird.

I begin to answer awkwardly, "Well uh...I'll help you out. I just need to know when and where you want me to help you and I'll do my best." I agree with minimal confidence.

Let me explain something important about myself. I'm a terrible teacher. I have no patience for anybody, and it is an inherent issue that I'm fully aware of. I have taken no strides to improve my situation. Therefore, I'm thrusting myself into a new issue that I probably can't adapt to.

"Will you be able to meet me after school Friday?" She questions me for a final time. I soon become nervous about meeting her after school. I don't know if I can handle being alone with this girl.

"Yeah, that works." I try to seem like I'm cool, collected, and calm about the situation.

"Alright, thank you so much. I'll see you then." She gives me a warm smile and wanders off. That smile. Never in my life has a smile rang with such sustain in my mind. It had a warmth to it, comparable to sunlight. I give her an awkward wave as she leaves. I turn to face Miles and Nathan who are both star struck.

"Alright Johnny, it's official, you have taken my place here." Miles says to me as he gets up.

"Dude, did this seriously hot girl just ask you to help tutor her in private?" Nathan is having a difficult time realizing the situation.

"I guess so." I say.