32 - Japanese Snacks

We found the small temple just as Kettu had described, and made our way down a long and twisting staircase. 

I did my best to recall her insane instructions on how to find the Demon Lord, but after our battle last night we camped as soon as we were a safe distance from the burning orchard, and everything was kind of a blur. It even took me until late afternoon the next day when we all finally woke up to realize Kettu had been hanging around in the fruit orchard because she was a flying fox. I laughed to myself about it in my groggy state.

After some lefts and some rights and only a little doubling back I'd gotten us irrevocably lost.

"Good job idiot! We could die down here thanks to you. Didn't you think about others before taking us all into some crazy maze?"

You're one to talk! You technically did that twice!

"I'm sorry guys, I can't remember what Kettu said anymore."

"Sir Mitsuta, you've done your best. We're almost there, I'm sure."

I half heartedly smiled at Maja and racked my brain. I could try asking Toast to sniff something out for us, but he's never been great at tracking, and Zay'tun only acts like a dog. 

I asked the party for any ideas, but was met with silence. Tamon made some hmm'ing and haa'ing noises and crossed his arms, leaning against a wall.

When I looked back he had disappeared, and my inner RPG fan kicked in, realizing what had happened. I excitedly urged my party to start pressing on walls.

Maja pressed around where Tamon had been leaning and the wall spun, revealing a dark passageway. Hassel pushed me out of the way.

"Ladies first! Idiot!"

She gleefully entered the dark space, and we followed closely behind. Toast and Zay'tun stayed in the previous hall, sitting nervously at the entrance, and I questioned what was wrong.

~I don wanna~

I felt my heart drop and dared to ask why.

~bad guy?~

I spun myself around and chased after my friends, dreading they had walked right into the Demon Lord's room unprepared.

I reached the end of the hall and the room came into focus. It looked like a castle dungeon, with brick walls and chains hanging down from them. Nasty weapons were mounted all over, with things that looked like torture devices scattered about. My party was cowering in a corner, and Tamon pointed to something on the far side of the room. I whipped my head around, prepared to see the Demon Lord. 

I was absolutely baffled.

In the centre of the room sat a CRT tv, a kotatsu, some zaisu, a game console I hadn't seen in 15 years, another game console I saw two years ago, stacks of manga, and various other items you'd find in... my room. It was like someone had copied the contents of my apartment and plopped it down into a castle dungeon. I could even see some of my favourite Japanese snacks on the table and it took every fiber of my being to process the situation and not run over and gobble them up.

Beyond the myriad of Japanese items from a modern decade, there was a desk surrounded by stacks of paper and books, and someone studiously working away. It reminded me of Ilta's office when I was first released from prison.

The person at the desk briefly glanced up at us, lowered their glasses, returned them to their place and gestured for us to come over.

My 'friends' pushed me forward, and I awkwardly took steps towards the desk.

"All of you, hurry it up."

We panicked and scurried over to the desk. Tamon couldn't help but let an "oooo" escape as we passed the snacks and fun looking things.

"Don't touch."

Tamon yelped at the stern voice coming from across the room.

"That's for after work as a reward."

So disciplined!

The party nervously stopped in front of the desk, huddled together.

The person working diligently signing papers and reviewing books sighed, and looked up at us again.

If I didn't have Kana in my heart, this would have been the second or third most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I'd have to tie her with Alku honestly, because they were the spitting image of each other.

This glasses beauty had white and silver hair just like Alku, and wore an outfit that barely covered all the good parts, just like Alku. The only notable difference was that her skin was tan, and her glasses. If we'd met under different circumstances I might have thought she was an employee of the guild who showed up to work completely inappropriately dressed.

Are the Goddess and the Demon Lord twins? Why did Alku want her dead?

"So you got past Kettu? Nice work getting him to half HP, that's quite a feat."

Him?! That shapely demon was a guy?!

My brain rattled with the overload of information, and I couldn't decide which part of that sentence to address first, so I didn't question any of it.

"U-uhm, we defeated Kettu. I'm very sorry ma'am."

She looked at me like I was an idiot, and went back to her writing.

"Union rules state any employee must give up in battle when their HP reaches half to comply with health and safety regulations. Kettu is fine."

All that and he was only at half HP?! Union rules?!

"Just double checking, but Alku sent you here, right?"

"Yes ma'am."

"And you're to defeat me?"

"... Yes ma'am."

She sighed again, heavier this time.

"Listen kid, I'm gonna give it to you straight. I'm seriously busy trying to keep everything up and running smoothly here. Do me a favour and leave, and I'll set you up real nice like the last hero, yeah?"

The last hero? 

I wondered what had happened to them but it sounds like they were bribed into abandoning their quest.

"I'm afraid I can't ma'am."

Her pen stopped scribbling and she slowly turned her eyes back up at me.

"Is that so?"

She stood from her desk, sliding her hand along the edge as she rounded its corner. When she reached the front of the desk, she leaned back on it, half sitting, and removed her glasses, neatly placing them down. Her eyes returned to mine, and she narrowed them at me.

"There's only 20 minutes left in my work day, you know. I really don't have time for this."

"I-I'm sorry ma'am."

"Head back to the far side of the room, I don't want to damage my things."

We all moved in a tight cluster back to the wall where we had entered. 

The Demon Lord walked with a brisk pace to the adjacent wall where all the scary looking weapons were, and started doing some light stretching.

I wasn't really sure what was happening, but nevertheless I turned to my friends and asked them to help me fight one last time. Unfortunately for me they stared at the floor ashamed. The Demon Lord called over casually.

"Are you guys ready? I'm not doing overtime today."

She only fights during business hours?!

"N-no ma'am, we still ne-"

Before I could blink she was in front of my face, and I felt her breath.

"Too bad."

I shut my eyes tight to brace myself for whatever was about to hit me, but after a few seconds opened them again to see her back in her original position, still stretching.

Shaking it off, I addressed my friends and desperately tried to put on a brave face.

"If you want to turn back I understand. I won't hold it against any of you."

Because I'll be dead.

"Sir Mitsuta, we've come this far together, I just..."

"Mitsuta, she moves faster than I could ever hope to, and I'm... the world's...greatest assassin..."

"D-don't be an idiot, what could we possibly do against her? Let's just go home..."

I knew exactly where they were all coming from, but I couldn't sacrifice anyone in my family, especially not Toast.

"I'm sorry guys, but I have to do this."

I turned back to the Demon Lord with determination, but the sweat dripping from my brow must have made me look as terrified as I really felt. The Demon Lord finished rotating her shoulder, and widened her stance, ready to probably obliterate me. 

She flexed a portion of her power, and a blinding aura emanated around her that pushed down so hard on me it felt like my skin was being pulled off my face. I couldn't breathe. Maja called out from behind me frantically.

"Sir Mitsuta! No!"

I couldn't even turn to look at her as I felt myself suffocating, locked into staring at this omnipotence before me. All I could think was that I was glad Toast was safe.

"Hey! Hero boy with no powers. Why are you going through all this anyways? What's in it for you?"

I struggled to speak under her influence as my eyes burned and I began to feel dizzy.

"Oh, right right, sorry about that."

The pressure stopped and I coughed and gagged. The blood returned to my face and I toppled over from the head rush I got.

"So? What's the deal here? I am the Demon Lord and I can't let Alku have her way, but I'm curious to know what's got you walking into your own death."

I coughed out my answer, plain and simple.

"Alku said she'd take my dog."

I opened my eyes to see her directly in front of me again, crouched down so we were at eye level.

"Your what?"