Chapter 21

We pulled out alongside the crashed cart and began loading the supplies. We were pretty sure the owners hadn't survived, but I had to check. I just had to be sure. I thought about what it would be like if someone was alive and suffering down there, so close to people that could help them. It reminded me of myself waiting for the heroes or anyone to rescue me. Maybe it was unavoidable sometimes, and I didn't even blame them for not knowing about me, but I didn't want to abandon someone if I could help it. Dugel tried to talk me out of it.

"You saw how fast they were. I doubt they're alive." Dugel whispered while we moved things from cart to cart.

"I know, but, I want to be sure."

"What if there are more mawhogs in the trees?"

I didn't have an answer for that. Maybe I could climb a tree? I didn't want to endanger these people again for my selfish reasons.

"Go down the road a bit first. If there are more, I'll climb a tree and wait till they leave."

"... I'm sorry. I want to help you, but my family comes first. If it's something you're doing anyway, may the Shadow monarch keep you hidden."

Shadow monarch again? Whatever. I wouldn't complain if I had some divine stealth buffs or something. I thanked him and finished loading the cart. Once they were done, he climbed back onto the front and started moving.

Sonia looked confused between us. "Huh? Is William not coming?"

"He'll catch up in a minute. He's gotta use the bathroom." Dugel covered for me.

"Geez. You could wait for him, you know." Sonia scolded him.

"It's ok. I asked him to keep going, so I wouldn't waste any more time. I'll be right back." I said while waving.

Once they were a ways away, I ducked into the tall grass and tried to keep low enough that Sonia wouldn't guess where I was going. I crept my way towards the treeline. Once inside, the underbrush cleared up as little sunlight got through the thick canopy of the forest.

It was easy to spot him. A man laying on his back in the dirt with a knife at his side. He was missing a lot of parts. A hand, a large section of his abdomen, a leg had been stripped to the bone, his stomach spilling open. I stared at it for a long time. Is this what is looked like from the doctor's point of view? I could understand those wild, savage animals doing this, but how could a person do something like this to another? I couldn't look away. The images flooded back into my mind. Looking down at myself, watching as he cut and carved, waiting as his machine got ready to cleave out my heart again. I gripped my chest as my heart raced and stumbled back a bit. It was like I was back there. Tied down. I couldn't breathe. No matter how hard or fast I was panting, I couldn't catch my breath. I was back there again. The feeling of being suffocated and drowned by him again. I fell to my knees and collapsed forward. There was a sudden sharp pain in my shoulder. The times he took my arms. The times he took my legs. I grabbed my face and tried to stop him from taking my eyes, tongue, and teeth. Everything was getting dark. I couldn't breathe. He was killing me again. I was dying. Everything went dark.

I woke up. I didn't know how much time had passed, but it was still very bright out. Sitting upright made me flinch at the pain in my shoulder. I had fallen on the knife, and it cut me a bit. It wasn't bad at all, but it was bleeding slightly. I guess that meant I hadn't been out for long. I looked down at my hands and remembered what happened. How pathetic. I picked up the knife and stood up. Looking at the body again, I thought I should find it gross or disturbing. Instead, I felt angry. I didn't even know who or what I was mad at.

Maybe it was looting to take the knife, but I thought of it as a gift for avenging him and killing the mawhogs which felt right. I hadn't prayed since I was a little kid, and I didn't even know if the gods were real in this world, but people seemed to truly believe in monarchs, so I said a prayer to the monarch of the afterlife. As I understood it, the monarch of Death guided people to her, and she sent them to the appropriate afterlife after viewing their life, so I prayed she would give him a favorable judgment. While I prayed, there was a very brief presence like someone was standing far behind me for only a second, but not necessarily even looking in my direction. I turned around quickly as soon as I felt it, but no one was there.

Back on the road, I couldn't see the cart anymore as the road bent behind the trees further up. I jogged after it for a while. Aside from the cut on my shoulder, I was fine, but I felt like crap. There was one part of me, however, that felt satisfied I had gone into those trees just to be sure. Maybe It hadn't gone well, but I think I would've regretted it much more If I had ignored it and always wondered if there might've been something I could've done.

I passed 2 separate carts, and a group of people walking with large sacks on their back, all heading in the opposite direction as I continued. If we hadn't taken out those Mawhogs, what would've happened to them? After a few minutes of jogging, I rounded a bend and spotted the cart. Hiding the knife in my waistband, I climbed in. It was a good thing I had a lot of experience hiding how I was feeling. They immediately began joking about how long I took.

I laughed, apologized, and changed the subject.

"So, Dugel was telling me you pray to the Shadow monarch? Why is that? I heard he was mainly prayed to by thieves and bad people."

Sonia was happy to answer. "No! That's not true at all. Maybe those kinds of people pray to him as well, but the monarch of shadows grants his protection to those who seek safe passage and those who wish to go unseen, undisturbed, and unknown. He's one of the three newer monarchs, but travelers have always asked for his protection against thieves, and monsters when they travel."

Dugel followed up. "It's true though. Those who do such things as you said would also seek out his blessing, and there's no telling if he would grant it to them or not. He tends to help those who travel at night more. Do you not pray?"

I felt awkward at the question. Was he asking if I had faith? They factually existed, did they not?

I answered. "I have a little. Not to that one, though. Sorry."

"You should. Especially if you're going to travel alone in the future and especially in these times with so few guards on these roads." Dugel said.

I felt like I was being lectured by a solicitor, but I guess I was on his wagon, so I was obligated to listen. He had a point anyway. Why not pray, just in case.

"Um, should I pray now, then?" I asked.

They laughed like I had just said something mildly amusing or silly.

"No. Pray at his shrine in a church. Every village has his symbol. No point in praying when he can't hear you." Dugel said.

I thought about the presence I had prayed to the monarch of the afterlife.

"When I prayed in the past, I felt like... maybe they heard me? I thought I felt something." I vaguely explained.

Sonia seemed surprised. "Oh. Were you in their domain? Or maybe you had their symbol nearby."

Was it ok if I said I had no idea what either of those things meant? If there were churches with monarch symbols in every village, it would probably seem odd for me not to know these things. I decided to give them a bit of information to see if they would fill in the gaps for me.

"Well, it was to the monarch of the afterlife. I felt something behind me for a moment."

Sonia's expression turned apologetic. "Oh, I'm sorry. Her domain is near those at rest. I understand.”

I understood a bit better how monarchs worked now, though I still had a lot of questions about them. It was dangerous to push too hard for information. This was probably basic stuff that even children knew. It was more valuable and smarter right now to ask about the area instead. Over the next few hours, we talk about all kinds of things. Any time they tried to pry into my past, I managed to deflect and change the subject, and they never gave any indication that they noticed. Once the sun was directly over head, we found ourselves in a village that was so small, I don't think it was even on the map I had seen. There were other travelers stopped here to rest and resupply. We stopped briefly, had lunch, which Dugel and Sonia were kind enough to give me some of theirs, let the ox eat and drink, and we were on our way again.

We mostly talked about the fight with the mawhogs. Celebrating our victory, praising Calvin, who was loving the attention, and getting attention myself for apparently saving the day, according to Dugel. He claims if I hadn't been there, they likely wouldn't have made it. I didn't know about that. It was my suggestion to stop and take those supplies. I awkwardly accepted the praise, but it didn't feel deserved. More like I had salvaged a situation I had caused.

As the sun began to set and Wayfell appeared in the distance, I changed the subject to Calvin and his magic. I thought maybe I had been lied to about that back at the castle too, but there wasn't anything I didn't already know. It was rare, and you either had it or you didn't. Demons had a restriction on using magic, but they also had access to a unique type, dragons had their own kind of magic that affected nature, and the monarchs had a magic that affected the world. I had always wanted to use magic, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

Whatever. I probably wouldn’t be good at it anyway and at this point, I would be satisfied just living a peaceful life in the mountains and not have to worry about being recaptured. To reach beyond that? I would like to be an adventurer. Join a guild, go on quests, help people, and explore an odd world full of wonder. Beyond even that? ... I would LOVE to get back at the scum in Crownspire. Make them feel what I felt. Make them suffer. Hear them BEG for mercy as I laugh.