First Job Blues

A big burly orc man walks towards us, probably ticked at the carnage we created. His thick green brows above his dark almond colored eyes, are shaped into a furrowed expression. He’s a grumpy looking shopkeeper, so we’ll for sure have a hard time getting out of this one. I might even go to jail. Maddie and I jolt up at the sight of him and stiffly stand next to each other. We’re lined up shoulder to shoulder for our interrogation.

“So… uh when did you get here? Hah…ha..”

I try to lighten the severity with a little joke, but it doesn’t play out too well. The orc looks incredibly displeased. And of course I don’t know when to quit digging a hole for myself, so I open my big stupid mouth again.

“...We didn’t see you come in. If we did we would have… cleaned up the place.”

The orc lets out a disappointed sigh before speaking. “I came from the back door. It was bingo night at the Isekai House.”

“...Did you win?”

“... It looks like I just lost.”

Oh my God what is wrong with me? Why would I ask that!? The orc, who by the way is being incredibly patient with me, finally asks the hard-hitting question.

“So… who did it?”

My childish instinct tells me to immediately point a finger at Maddie, but I can’t do that. I got angry and summoned the bull in the first place, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared of what this guy could do to me. Don’t play the blame game though, you’re better than that! I swear that petty fight we had earlier knocked me back to kindergarten.

I awkwardly raise my hand, ready to admit the truth. “It’s my fault. I got a bit angry and summoned a bull in a magic shop.” I look over to Maddie for help. “But on the plus side I finally figured out that transfiguration spell… haha…ha…”

“Well I appreciate the honesty. Since you told the truth, I will not press charges, but in exchange, I need you to work for me.” The orc shopkeeper says.

Oh no. I have never had a job in my life! If he’s disappointed in me now, he’s going to hate me come training. Maybe I should just go to jail instead?

I begin to mutter my concerns even though I’m sure they’ll fall on deaf ears. “I can’t do it. You wouldn’t want me to work here, I’ve never had a job before! How do you even know I’m qualified?”

“Do you have two working hands?”

“Yeah… I guess?”

“Congrats you’re qualified.”

Well crap.

“See you tomorrow at nine in the morning. You better be on time.”

The next day arrives quickly. Not wanting to let the shopkeeper down, I try to get a good night’s sleep and get to the store as quickly as I can. Oooh, but before I do, I mend the sleeve on my robe and try to fix my bushy hair as best as possible. I don’t want to look bad on my first day!

“You’re late.”

Well so much for not looking bad. However, how do they tell time here? I don’t see any clocks in his shop.

“Wait. How do you know I’m late?”

“The rooster in the stable over there crows at exactly 9 o’clock every morning. Time is money. Don’t waste mine.”

He’s strict, but he’s got a point I guess.

“Alright now a few rules before you start. Number one. Always show up to work on time.”

“Got it!” I say with a chipper attitude.

“No, if you were already late, you clearly don’t.” He heaves a lumbering sigh. “Number two. Never touch the forbidden spellbook behind this cabinet. It’s locked for a reason.”

Forbidden spellbook. Not gonna lie, that sounds incredibly tempting. I’m never going to run into an ancient evil magic text in the real world! Come on!!

“Lastly, I’ll sometimes have to leave you to work in the shop on your own. If you need anything, use a resonance stone to get in contact with me. It’s in the office behind us. Understood?”

“Aye aye captain!” I give an awkward little salute in response. What was that?! I got a job, I didn’t join the navy!

“First order of business. We’ve gotta clean this mess. I’ve picked up as much as I can. Can you sweep the rest of the dust and glass outside?”

“Yes sir!” I still try a goofy salute thing, but not before I stand at attention. I guess I moved military branches. Navy to army… good for me. What am I saying?

I try my best to grab a broom and work on sweeping, but I keep messing up. The shopkeeper came back to me multiple times to give me tips. Things like “keep your posture straight and use both hands“ and “use shorter sweeps”. I guess I didn’t realize that even using a broom is something you had to learn. By the time I finished, my back was a little sore. Phew! Time for a break. I lean against the wall for some much needed rest.

“What are you doing? You’ve still got more work to do!”

“AHH!”

Oh wow he jumpscared me real good. My body straightens out again, becoming rigid like uncooked pasta. I relax for one minute and get caught. Such is my luck, but looking at the destruction Maddie and I caused, there is a lot more work to do.

The shopkeeper sighs. “I’m going to see if I can get some wooden boards to patch up this hole in the wall. Keep an eye on the merchandise while I’m gone. And if you could organize the stock, that would be great.”

He takes off and I’m left behind. What do I do?! I haven’t been trained to look after the shop on my own. What if a customer walks in??

A faint bell rings at the front. Crap.

“Hiya June! I loooove what you’ve done with the place,” Azuki says with a wink.

That cat better pray she has nine lives, because I’m gonna kill her.

“So… you heard about what happened with Maddie and I yesterday?” I ask.

“Yeah. I had a feeling you two would have an explosive friendship, but I didn’t expect it to lead to a sudden remodeling of this place.” She says while doing a thorough damage inspection. “Oh and the fact that you got a job at this shop after being in this world for only a couple weeks? You sure know how to take the bull by the horns June.”

“Please just buy what you need and get out.”

“Sheesh, someone's touchy. I’m not here for your stuff. I’m just here to look at the job board.”

I glance over at the side wall near the entrance. Sure enough, there's a board sponsored by the adventurer’s guild with a collection of papers pinned to it. All of them are a bunch of odd jobs calling for heroes. I walk on over to take a closer look. Some are bounties set on catching bandits and others ask adventurers to find rare treasure.

“Huh some of these look kinda fun.” I reply after looking at some of the listings.

“You’re not ready for a job like this.” Azuki the buzzkill responds.

“How do you know that? Maddie taught me some magic y’know!”

“Yeah, reaaallly impressive magic June.” Azuki says sarcastically looking at the destruction around her. “Besides, the shopkeeper will never let you go on adventures until the place gets fixed up. Better hop to it Cinderella.”

She leaves the store with a bounty in hand. Her tail flicks in the air with an unprecedented level of sass. Seriously, who does she think she is?! Whatever, I’ll do my best to keep the shop looking nice. Then I can go on cool escapades myself. That will show her.

The bell rings once more. The shopkeeper bumps his head on the bell in the doorframe. His orc height is a bit of an inconvenience in this world to say the least. He grumbles quietly to himself and carries the lumber back into the store.

“I’m back. What did you get done?” He asks.

Oh shoot I was supposed to be working! I totally got distracted. Aarrgh curse you Azuki! “I…. uh…”

The shopkeeper sighs. “You forgot, didn't you? I’ll walk you through restocking. Pay close attention.”

He’s as stubborn as a mule, but his attention to detail is impeccable. I do my best to follow, but it’s so tough to keep up. We close up the shop for the night and I head back to the inn as sore as a leper after a long yoga session. I sure hope it gets easier. Because man, that was a rough first day.

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A few days pass and I’m still getting used to the work around here. Will I actually get used to it eventually or am I just not cut out for this? Surely it has to get better. Unfortunately for me, it will get worse before it does. Azuki just walked in.

“Hiya June…” Azuki says in a tone less enthusiastic than usual.

“Why are you so glum, Azuki? What's wrong, cat got your tongue??” I ask with as much fake curiosity as I can muster.

“Hahahaa… very funny. No, I'm just tired from working for scraps everyday. None of these jobs pay well.”

“Well the pay isn’t everything, I hear some people do these missions for free. Don’t you just do it for the thrill? Where’s your sense of adventure, Azuki?”

“I don’t know what your angle is, but you’re still not ready June.”

Well she caught on to me. But the place looks a lot better than it did before. I’m sure that the boss would be okay if I left a few minutes early so I can take a bounty, just this once! I just need to convince her.

“Azuki, I’ve gotten better! Give me a chance and I’ll prove it to you. I’ve almost nailed the levitation spell! Look here-”

“Enough! You’re not ready and everyone thinks so! All the isekais do. Minerva, Maddie, Spector. None of them believe in you. So… so just GIVE UP already!”

Azuki’s words sting like a hornet. My mom used to tell me that hurt people, hurt people. It’s kinda hard to believe when you’re on the receiving end though.

She turns to leave before leaving behind one last gem of advice. “Stop kidding yourself June… The store still looks like trash by the way…”

She leaves in a bitter hurry. I didn’t expect her to snap like that. Screw her honestly, but she does have a point. The shop could still use some work in getting back to normal and I’m not fast enough to get all my duties done on time on a regular basis. Hmmmm…. Maybe there’s a magic spell that could help in that department?

I pursue some of the magic spell books, but I can't find the right hex to make my job easier. The only book I haven't looked at is behind that locked counter…

What are you thinking June, that book is forbidden! Stupid, stupid, stupid. I close the shop for the night and wonder why I ever thought of doing something so dumb and obviously wrong.

Well, I woke up the next morning and decided to do something so dumb and incredibly wrong. After the boss leaves me unsupervised (a terrible decision I might add) so he can make some business trades, I pick up the dusty old spellbook behind the locked counter. As I flip through the pages I quickly realize, the only reason why the magic in this spellbook is forbidden is because it’s full of a bunch of get rich quick schemes! There’s a spell to multiply gold, a guide to track down rare crystals, and a spell to enchant inanimate objects to do mundane labor for you. Ooooh that could work.

After reading through the chant a couple times, I decided to give it a try. I mean what could go wrong? I thought using the spell on a broom would be a bit too cliche, so I focused on animating a mop instead.

Sure enough, the mop grew a pair of small arms that lay limp by its side. The added weight was enough for the poor mop to tip over and fall to the floor with a delicate thud. Oh no, is the mini mop man okay?? Just as I peer over the counter, the mop pops up with a jolt of energy. He gives me a wave to let me know he’s alright. Aww this little guy is so cute.

“Alright buddy are you listening to me?”

I project my voice and the mini mop man flexes his wooden pole up and down to mimic a head nod. Adorable.

“Okay, so it might be tough at first, but if you follow my advice you'll be a pro magic shop team member in no time!”

He's a little confused at first, but he does have the spirit! I shouldn't judge him though, after all he is getting used to his new body. Honestly, despite the difficulty, he seems to pick up on things quickly! I show him how to sweep just like the boss taught me. Then I show him how to restock the shelves when they’re empty.

After training for a few minutes, mini mop man seems perfectly capable of taking care of things on his own. I should reward him for his hard work like a good trainer!

I go to the back to find a metal badge with a bunch of arcane symbols on it. I cover these up by attaching a piece of parchment on top. I write in ink, “Employee of the Month”.

“Here, this is for you.” I attach the badge to the mop about halfway down his pole. He flexes, curving his body up towards me. I can’t really tell for sure, I mean it’s a mop for goodness sake, but he does look proud. He’s really cute.

“Alright buddy, I'm going to work on learning some spells in the office. If you need anything just let me know okay?”

The mop jumps up and down giving a tiny salute with his hands. In the meantime, I'll crack open this so-called “forbidden” spellbook again. Seriously, the disclaimer on the first page makes it seem like all hell will break loose if you use any of these spells.

BANG. A loud sound grabs my attention. I jump out of the chair in the office, but then reassure myself that it's fine. If mini mop man needed me, he would have stepped in to get me already.

I continue to read more on the page about animating objects. Oh a small note is etched in tiny print on the bottom of this page. “WARNING: animated objects may achieve true sentience. They may become irrational, aggressive, or even hostile towards you. If objects exhibit signs of free will, destroy them immediately.”

Oh come on! Who leaves a warning so serious in handwriting so small! However, I'm sure it's fine. Mini mop man is a perfect obedient little angel.

CLANG. Okay, maybe I should go check out what’s going on back there. I grab my staff and the forbidden spellbook before I head out of the office. Then, just when I return to the lobby of the store, for lack of a better phrase, all hell breaks loose.