God of Memory

I dragged Oleander inside the house, and he was pitifully kneeling on the floor while trying his best not to meet my eyes.

“Now, would you kindly explain yourself?” I asked kindly, with a smile of course.

He flinched when he saw my expression and closed his eyes tightly.

“I’m sorry! Please spare me!” he frantically begged.

Look at this god, he’s making it seem as if I’m the bad guy here. He was the one snooping around another god’s sanctuary like some sort of stalker! If he wants to, he could just knock on the door and ask for me!

I sighed in exasperation.

Sure, this guy is a god, human logic is the last thing that I should expect from him. Still, based on my understanding of his authority as the God of Memory, he should have known more about human society than this!

“God of Memory, I’m disappointed in you,” I huffed.

“Uuuu….”

It was then when the children heard the disturbance and decided to take a look.

“Lapis-sama, what’s happening— Eh? God?!”

“My dear fragment!” Oleander lit up as soon as he saw Ollie.

“Hold it right there, Oleander! I won’t let you get close to Ollie unless you explain yourself first,” I firmly demanded.

The twins started whispering among themselves but it was still loud enough for us to hear.

“Ne, Onii-chan… this situation looks like that, don’t you think?”

“It is. It definitely is.” Kuro nodded in agreement. “It looks something like a divorced couple arguing over child custody.”

“HAAAH?!” I blurted out at the two. “What gives you that idea??!”

“We’ve seen it a lot before!” Shiro proudly said. “Just in movies and TV series though.”

I was taken aback by their reasoning. “W-what kind of media were you kids consuming before…? Actually, nevermind that.”

“Uhm… Lapis-sama… what’s with these children?” Oleander asked in confusion. “Movies…? TV…?”

“Ah! You’re Ollie-kun’s absent father!” Kuro pointed at Oleander.

“W-well, I can be considered as his father… Wait! I’m still a god, even if you’re a kid, you’re extremely rude!” Oleander rebutted at Kuro.

“Geh! You indeed resemble him,” Kuro said in distaste.

I stared at Oleander dubiously.

What is a grown man like him beefing with a literal child?

I mean, Kuro obviously has an aversion for anything related to gods and religion with me as an exception, but there shouldn’t be any reason for Oleander to match his attitude with a child.

“Lapis-sama.”

I felt someone slightly tugged on my skirt. It was Ollie.

“Is that really my original god?” Ollie asked curiously. “He feels different from what I remember.”

Crack!

There was a sound of breaking.

Oleander was stunned in his place and he looked like something broke inside him. The look on his face was priceless.

“Pfft…” I tried to hold on to my laughter but I wasn’t able to. “HAHAHAHAHA!!”

“LAPIS-SAMA, YOU’RE SO MEAN!!!” Oleander complained to me.

“Okay, okay, haha… my bad.” I turned to Ollie. “Ollie-kun, it’s true that this man is your original god.”

“Is that so?” Ollie tilted his head lightly, still not convinced.

The more that Ollie doubts Oleander’s identity, the more his face turns pale and disheartened.

It's not a good idea to celebrate someone's misery, but I never expected to see that kind of expression from Oleander himself.

How should I put it… when we first met, he gave off a distant atmosphere. He was like someone who knows a lot but is indifferent and could care less about anything.

I didn't think that he would falter like this because of Ollie.

Maybe Ollie was really someone formidable without our knowledge… Hmm…

“Now, now, Ollie-kun. He looks just like you, right?”

“He could be an apparition.”

“Uuu…” Oleander's face looks more dismayed.

I turned to face Oleander who looked like he wanted to melt right there and then.

“Oleander, why didn't you tell your fragment that you regained your name?” I asked him.

“That's…”

Oleander glanced at Ollie, then to the twins, then he looked down quietly.

I guess he has his reasons that he can't disclose in front of the kids.

Fine, I'll let him off for now.

“You know what, we're having tea time. Join us, okay?” I firmly said to him.

“Okay…”

With that, Oleander joined us for tea. Ollie served him a cup before returning to his cookies.

“Can you explain yourself now? Just say what you can if you can't reveal everything,” I told him.

Oleander nodded. “Understood. What do you want to know?”

“Why are you leaving groceries in front of our house?”

He put a hand on his chin and answered, “Because they need it?”

What kind of answer was that?!

“How did you know that?”

“I'm connected to my fragment, so I know that you fell asleep for a long time. I also found out that you're sheltering human children in your Miniature Sanctuary… and humans will die if they are not fed, right?”

“I mean, you're right but I don't think that's how you should put it… either way, thank you for your gifts.”

“If it's helpful, then I'm glad. It's partly my fault why you fell unconscious after all.” Oleander said apologetically.

“How so?”

He looked down on his teacup and stared at his reflection for a while.

“You slipped into a Memory Fracture. What you saw wasn't exactly the reality that you should see nor was it a dream, it did happen, but it was a discrepancy that occurred because of my inadequate powers.”

Oleander heaved a long breath.

“When I lost my name and shattered, a huge part of myself still remained. I still have a fair amount of memories and still oversee the accumulation world's memories, but since I no longer possess the same authority that I used to, fractures like that occasionally happen.”

“I'm guessing that I slipped into one of those fractures…”

“Indeed,” Oleander solemnly said.

“But what happened in that memory is still real, right?”

That means the death of the twins really happened. In a different cycle, Prince Noir and Princess Bianca died in that forest… but why are they calling for the Goddess? Do they know me already in that cycle?

“Judging by the look on Lapis-sama’s face, it seems like you've noticed a point of interest in that memory.”

“Un. If that was a memory of a different cycle, do the people already know me then?”

Oleander shook his head. “No, in the previous cycles, only gods like me knew of the existence of the Creator. The goddess that the voices are calling for in the fracture is someone else.”

Someone else… Was it another goddess?

“Oleander—”

I was about to ask more when he shook his head, a sign that I should not press further, at least not yet.

I pursed my lips together. Then I smiled at him.

“I get it,” I assured him. “Still, why didn't you reach out to Ollie after I gave your name back? He's still your fragment and you shouldn't make him worry that much.”

“I know, but I have my reasons. The thing that Lapis-sama pulled off inside the memory is extremely unstable, I had to make sure to deal with the loose ends even if I shouldn't.”

“So it was really you! You're the reason why the kingdom believes that the twins are dead.”

“That sounds about right. But in actuality, as the God of Memory, I shouldn't directly interfere with humans… the last time I did, I shattered.”

“If it was really that risky, why did you still do it?” I asked with furrowed brows.

“Who knows~” Oleander closed his eyes and hummed with a small smile. “I guess I wanted to put my faith in the future that the Goddess wants to create no matter how unconventional it might be.”

“Oleander…”

“Don't worry about it. I hid myself because if the world found out that I regained my authority, I would be swamped by a burden beyond what I could handle again,” Oleander sighed. “It sounds irresponsible, but… I have always done my duty all those times before, in the end, I was forgotten by the humans that I wanted to protect. Over and over again… I was forgotten. It’s ironic, isn’t it? The God of Memory ended up being removed from everyone’s memory.”

Oleander had it hard… I feel bad for him, but…

He’s not telling everything. Yet.

“Uhm, you’re Oleander-sama, right?” Ollie asked him.

“Un! I’m Oleander, the God of Memory.”

“Sorry for not recognizing you right away,” Ollie apologized politely.

Oleander motioned him to get closer and Ollie obliged. Once Ollie was closer, Oleander put his hand on the boy’s hair.

“It’s not a big deal, I’m intentionally hiding my presence too. You did well, my dear fragment– No, my dear Ollie.”

Ollie looked glad from being praised, but his smile quickly faded, “But… Oleander-sama, I actually—”

Oleander put a finger on Ollie’s lips.

“Sshh, I know.”

“Eh?”

“I’m the God of Memory, there isn’t something that I don’t know. Moreover, you are my dear fragment, I won’t be much of a god if I don’t know what’s happening to my fragment, right?” Oleander beamed at Ollie. “Whatever you wish for, you are free to do it now. Though I’ll just ask you not to abuse the powers that I bestowed you, okay?”

“Powers…?” I asked them.

“Yes, Ollie has a small fraction of my powers over memories,” Oleander explained.

“I see… so that’s what happened to the first knights sent in Espoir Town… Ollie-kun?”

“Y-yes! I used my powers on those knights!” Ollie confessed. “Lapis-sama might not have known this, but before you fell asleep, the knights were looking for Shiro-chan and Kuro-kun all over the town even if they ended up destroying the businesses there, I just feel like I had to drive them away…”

“I think you did great though,” Oleander commented.

“Haah… I have a lot to say about it, but since you used it for the good, I’ll let it pass,” I sighed.

“You did it for us, Ollie-kun? That’s amazing!” Shiro exclaimed in awe.

“W-well, you have my thanks,” Kuro shyly said.

I guess this turn of events wasn’t that bad. The twins are now safe, and Oleander also reunited with Ollie peacefully. All that’s left now is for the original story to start.

Or it should have been.

____________

The days that passed after that are uneventful. Oleander, who doesn’t have a Miniature Sanctuary in human society, decided to stay with us. Of course, an extra hand in doing chores is very much welcome in our house.

Although the chores here are pretty much just cooking and laundry because the Sanctuary apparently has a self-maintainance system that cleans the floors and maintains the house in pristine condition. Still, having another cook here is very much welcome.

On this particularly slow-paced day, I was hanging around the kitchen while Oleander was cooking. The children are outside playing fetch with Sol in our backyard so it’s just the two of us this time.

I stared at the crack in my hand that seems to be permanent now. With a lazy sigh, I slumped my head on the table.

“Lapis-sama, are you worried about the crack?”

“Yes, it’s not affecting my movements but it’s bothersome to see it like this.”

“Ordinary people will not be able to perceive it but if you want to hide it, you can always use magic.”

“Magic?”

“Un. I actually have the same cracks as yours.” Ollie nodded and turned off the stove.

He washed his hands and dried it on the towel before taking a seat in front of me.

“Lapis-sama, look at me. I’ll remove my magic illusion now, so I’ll teach you how to do it, okay?”

“Ookay…” I lazily said with a muffled voice before lifting my face from the table.

When I looked at him, there were several cracks on his face that I didn’t see before… I may have seen it before but it was inside a memory and it wasn’t as prominent as I can see now.

“Why were you hiding it?”

“Because Lapis-sama liked my face, these cracks weren't really something that is pleasant to the eyes,” he solemnly said.

I reached out my hand and touched his face. He froze, but he did not try to reject my actions. I traced my thumb on the cracks on his cheek.

These cracks… it was the proof of his suffering to keep this world alive. Each and every crack in his form was the symbol of his sacrifice for the survival of the world. I suddenly feel ashamed to complain with just one crack on my hand.

“Lapis-sama…?”

I bit my lip in frustration. I really fucked up when I quit writing, didn’t I? This might have been just fiction for the former me, but this is now a reality that I live in. And in this reality, there is someone out there suffering… Oleander is also one.

Apologies won’t mean anything now. I am the Goddess. I can always say sorry and no one will hold it against me, I will always be forgiven even if I shouldn’t be.

So instead of apologizing, I have to make up for it in some other way.

“Oleander,” I sincerely smiled at him. “I think you are still beautiful even with these cracks.”

His cheeks flushed, but instead of being flustered and looking away, he smiled back at me. “Of course, I’m your creation after all.”

I could feel my heart skip a beat from his words. I feel like my cheeks are also burning, but more than anything, I can’t help but smile.

“Un. That’s right!”

Our eyes met, and instead of turning away from each other, we just chuckled then. It was moments like this that are really worth treasuring. I feel something warm in my heart, I wonder if Oleander also feels the same…

“By the way, Lapis-sama… I’ll teach you how to use magic to conceal the cracks, okay?” Oleander said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Although I don’t mind seeing the cracks now, Oleander still insisted on teaching me. Showing the cracks out in the open is not safe at all because there are humans with strong affinity in divinity and the cracks might give our identities away. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

So I have no choice but to still learn it from Oleander. Who knows, maybe I can also pick up a trick or two?

“Lapis.”

“Huh?”

“Just call me Lapis. Without the honorifics.”

“That’s a little…”

“We’re both gods, aren’t we? We should be on equal terms so let’s drop the honorifics.” I beamed at him.

He looked hesitant, but when I stared at him with persistence, he eventually relented.

“Alright, Lapis. I’ll teach you how to use magic.”

“Okay, teacher!”

That day, I diligently studied under Oleander’s guidance. It was hard at first since I wasn’t used to something mystical like that, but since this is another world, I can’t be choosy. It’s actually something to be grateful that words, whether imagination or incantation, are the foundation of magic.

It became easy once I understood the theory, but it’s not like I have any chances using this somewhere else.

It’s not like I’m a kid that needs to enroll in something like a Magic Academy or something, I’m too old for that. I know it sounds boring, but we can’t force it. There’s no reason for me to enter school again. More than anything, I’ll just use my magic to make life easier for me and for those around me.

“Say, Lapis, can I ask something?” Oleander asked as soon as we finished our lesson.

“Yes?”

“Those human children… They're different from the Prince Noir and Princess Bianca of the previous cycles. They are from another world, right?”

“Yep, that seems to be the case,” I answered. “Is something the matter?”

Oleander pondered for a while, then shook his head. “It’s extremely rare, and I wasn’t expecting to meet a different Prince Noir and Princess Bianca in any cycles to be honest. Lapis really has such powerful luck.”

“Maybe it’s my compensation for being unlucky in my previous world haha,” I joked. “But was it that powerful? I think it’s just average.”

“You met reincarnators, and you also managed to meet a divine beast. I think that in itself is extremely lucky.”

“Yep, meeting the twins is really a huge stroke of luck— huh? A divine beast?? Where?”

“I guess it’s in the backyard right now playing with Ollie and others?”

Eh? A divine beast is playing with the children?!! Don’t tell me…

“SOL IS A DIVINE BEAST?!!” I blurted out in disbelief.

“As far as I can tell, yes. I’m amazed that you didn’t notice, Lapis. Well, the original god of that divine beast is very weak now so his powers are extremely subtle and unnoticeable.”

“Wait, wait, are you telling me that I have a divine beast in my home all these times?” I asked, putting a hand on my forehead.

“It’s been a while since you took that puppy in, right? So yes. You have a divine beast in your Sanctuary all these times.”

W-what the heck?!

So that’s why Sol seems like he can understand human language! Ollie might have realized it already, but why hasn’t he told me about it?? W-well, it’s not like you can normally encounter a puppy on the road on a regular day but it turns out it’s actually a divine beast…

“Say, Oleander, what can a divine beast do?”

“If you’re talking about the puppy that you took in, since it is technically a fragment of another god too, it has the same powers of the original god that it came from.”

“Do you know who the original god is?” I asked him.

“Yes, but I think you also knew him. You’re occasionally slipping to Memory Fractures and in one of those memories, there was a god with a Sanctuary of a golden temple.”

Golden Temple… I feel like Ollie told me about it before…

And I feel like I also saw it in my dream, but it was ruined and the solitary god there gave himself up for humanity.

“God of Prosperity…”

“Un, Sol is the fragment of God of Prosperity. As long as that divine beast is here, you will always achieve prosperity and wealth.”

“That sounds like a maneki-neko that almost all shops have in my former world… I guess it’s a puppy here,” I muttered to myself.

“What do you plan to do with it now?” Oleander asked.

I pondered for a while, but it’s not like I need to do anything about Sol, right? He’s still a part of my family even if he’s a divine beast from a different god. I’ll welcome him just like I welcomed Ollie and Oleander here.

“Sol can stay here as long as he wants,” I said with a smile. “That also goes with everyone here, Ollie, Shiro, Kuro, and you. Everyone can stay here as long as you want.”

“Fufu, I am grateful for that, Lapis.” Oleander smiled.

But it did not take a while before his face soon turned serious.

“However… I’ll tell you now, the solution that I used to tie the loose ends of ensuring the survival of those human children is not fail-proof.”

“Well, I expected that too.”

Even though Oleander was the one who made it work in the end, it won’t change the fact that I, the Creator, failed. In reality, it was just a band-aid solution. A stop-gap measure.

A Plot Hole will occur if the twins are found to be still alive.

We are at the point where we can’t afford a Plot Hole to occur. Once it did, everything that we have done now will be meaningless.

“Lapis, make those children your prophets,” Oleander stated.

“Eh?”

“Make them your prophets. If they are under your direct protection, no one will question their identities, and their royal status will be voided. Even if someone recognized them as the departed royals, it will no longer have any bearing because they are prophets of a god.”

I looked away and fiddled with my fingers.

“I know that making them my prophets will solve their identity issues, but… those kids had a rough past… I don’t want to force them if they don’t want to.”

“Is that past greater enough to risk the life they have now?” Oleander asked.

I don’t like how he’s making it sound as if it wasn’t a big deal, but deep inside, I know that he has a point. I could force them to be my prophets even if I will be hated in the end as long as I could keep them safe, but…

I know in myself that I just can’t force them to do something that they don’t want to, knowing that it will hurt them… it might not be in the physical sense but rather emotionally and mentally.

I took a deep breath.

The future looks bleak.

“I’ll ask them some other time,” I said to Oleander.

Little did we know, at that time, our conversation was overheard… and the events that will follow will either break or make the future that we are hoping to reach.