A Chance to Breathe

Wind blew across Itsuki as he began to stir. It was gentle, cool, and brought with it the smell of the late morning.

He lifted his eyes open. A few tears streamed down his face.

That was strange. Had he been crying?

His mind grasped at a fleeting dream as he gained his bearings, though it slipped through his fingers. All that was left was a strange bitter-sweet warmth inside him.

He just lay there for a while until it settled—he didn't know how long.

Eventually though, he felt the urge to see where he was.

It was quiet, and he felt the softness of a bed around him. The sun leaked through an open window behind a few clouds. Another cool breeze wafted across his skin as he shifted.

His limbs felt drained, like weights at his side. But he managed enough energy to stretch as he propped himself up. He wiped the sleep from his eyes as he adjusted to the dim light.

"…" He was back in the sleeping quarters at the matron's estate.

The familiar walls they'd gotten used to since they'd arrived in this world helped sooth him a little. He could also smell some food next to him on a nearby nightstand—herb flatbread, it seemed.

As his brain booted up more though, he suddenly remembered the rescue, fight, and Sayaka.

"!" Wait. Where was she? Was she safe now?

He started scanning the room until he found her, letting out a sigh of relief. She was sitting on the edge of her bed right next to his slightly hunched over. She wore a new dress that shimmered slightly in the sun and accentuated all of her features. Her luscious hair, her peaceful face, her modest chest and other assets.

"U-Usami?" he softly spoke, trying to see if she was okay and giving himself a distraction to focus on.

He tried scooting himself upward but suddenly realized with another breeze that he was almost completely undressed. He barely managed to cover himself up more with his sheets before she stirred to.

"Kisaragi…?" she mumbled while letting out a yawn. "You're finally awake…?"

"I-I guess I am." He looked down at his barely covered body and bunched up a few more blankets on top of him.

"H-how are you feeling? Are you okay?"

She stretched her arms into the air. "I think I'm doing well for the most part… Um, how about you? Do you feel anything off?"

"I-I'm fine too," he said, noticing her eyes lazily traveling up and down his body. "Just uh… give me a moment."

He tried shooting a smile her way as he stumbled for some clothes, only to notice what must've been the remnants of both their outfits on the far side of the room. They were piled on a table, washed but near completely torn.

Ah. That would explain some things.

He steadied himself as he lied against the bed's headboard, trying to act natural. Just then though, the clouds parted just enough to light her even more radiantly than before.

"Are you sure?" she asked curiously.

He nodded, desperate to contain the heat rising to his face.

"Y-yes. Just woke up to a beautiful view, that's all. Sorry."

Now it was her turn to blush a shade of red. She covered her face with her hands and angled away.

"A-anyways, what's been going on since I was out?" He had to fight himself not to stare, coughing as he diverted his gaze back up to her eyes. "I just remember passing out and seeing you. Everything else beyond that is just blank."

"…" She didn't respond like he'd expected though, only softening her expression as she gave him a look.

"What? Did I do something wrong? Is something on my face?"

"N-no, sorry. I got distracted. I just… remembered a few things."

It took a few seconds for her to compose herself as her hair ruffled around her.

"To answer, I was out for a full day, you were out for three." Her expression dropped slightly. "A lot happened, though I can try to sum it up if you'd like to hear."

"Please do," he bowed his head with earnest.

She slowly nodded at the affirmation, looking out the window and over the town as she spoke.

"I'll start off with the beginning then. After passing out we were saved by Velena and brought back to Lerwood. She grumbled to me the other day about having to carry the both of us through the mud."

"I'll have to thank her later then. What about Reathe though? What happened to them?"

Fragments of the conflict returned to his mind, but all he remembered was contact, energy, and a blinding light.

"We honestly don't know. Velena didn't bother to check. Her priority was getting us back to Lerwood. So… now we're here."

"…Interesting. Ah, what about the town? What happened to the other Diluvians?"

"The Diluvian were repelled, and the town is okay, albeit with a fair amount of damage done… but nothing that's not fixable."

A little guilt popped up as he remembered bashing down a house to get to the cathedral.

"Yeah… fixable. What about the others? Is everyone alright?"

She gripped the bracelet around her wrist. "There were a lot of injuries and many missing, but a majority of the townsfolk are okay. Refi and Eflam are fine too—they apologized to me a lot when they visited us. Kiaki's mostly recovered and has been helping Velena try to run things, but…"

A pause. "Damage aside, there's other things to worry about. Rebuilding, whether or not the Diluvian will be back, and potential conflict with the dukedom… there's a lot."

"No kidding," he muttered, trying to wrap his head around everything that was being said. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

She briefly smirked at his earnestly before it faded. "Of course you would say that."

"I've already been trying to help as much as I can since I woke by helping with rebuilding, though it's a little hard with just wind and fire. Your magic would probably do better."

Itsuki's brows raised upon hearing that. "I'm sure you're fine. If anything, I'd imagine they'd be happy you were helping."

"Perhaps. Though it's even more embarrassing now that everyone knows we're worldwalkers. They probably expect more than just using wind to push debris into piles."

Her bed creaked slightly as Sayaka shifted her weight and palmed her cheek.

"I've been trying my best to live up to what they're starting to expect. But… so much of this is over my head, and it's hard to keep up. I just can't play the hero role as well as you do."

Itsuki noticed as she looked away and toward the tray of food on the nightstand, fidgeting with her dress. It didn't seem like she was focusing on it though, but seeing past it, her eyes boring into the void.

"…" He leaned to pick up one of the flatbreads on the tray and offered it to her, waving it slightly in the air.

"?" She gave a bittersweet chuckle once she noticed. "I-idiot, this is supposed to be for you, you know. But… never mind, I guess that's just how you are."

She gently took it and looked it over.

"…I've actually missed this, you know? You being annoying and all. The past few days have been bleak without you."

He scratched his cheek. "Sheesh, I appreciate the flattery, but to say that? You don’t have to go out of your way to make me feel giddy."

Silence followed for a moment, Sayaka's eyes glistened as she put it back.

"I'm being serious you know."

"Oh." His expression dropped upon seeing her watery eyes. "S-sorry, that was just a little quip. I didn't mean—"

She leaned in across the gap until she was in his space, practically breathing the same air.

"I know, Kisaragi. It's just on top of everything that's happened. I'm glad that you're alive."

He gulped as he raised his hand in a placatory gesture, trying to lighten the mood.

"Thanks for worrying about me. But as you can see now, I'm alright." He motioned at himself. "In fact, I think I might be feeling even better than before, so don't—"

She abruptly pulled him into an embrace.

"U-Usami?"

His heart jumped before settling, almost melting in her arms. It wasn't a delicate hug, but full-bodied, close enough to where he could feel her heart beating steadily from their contact.

It was an experience that he'd nearly forgotten about since Kaede.

"…" He trembled slightly as he hugged back. His eyes started to water slightly as memories bubbled up.

Something like guilt lingered in his heart from the comparison, yet now it felt different than before. It was less like an echo and more like a reminder, and that feeling only grew deeper and more complicated as the seconds ticked on.

Eventually though, the hug had to end. Sayaka pulled away, her warmth fading slowly as she sat back down on her bed.

"I hope that wasn't too forward," she muttered, face reddening slightly. "It's just… with everything going on right now and whatever lies ahead, I can't bear to think about going through it by myself."

Her cheeks blushed pink as she smiled at him, the sun rising higher to light the world.

"…I'm glad that you're still here with me, Kisaragi Itsuki."

Speech momentarily left Itsuki as she cleared her throat and looked away.

"Sorry. I had that line planned and everything. Thought it would get your mood up. A-anyways, now that you're awake, I uh, should probably tell the others. And sorry if using your full name was a little weird."

As she started standing up though, words returned to him.

"Usami? Hold on just a moment. I have something I want to say."

She looked back surprised. "Yes? What is it?"

"Um…"

The urge to admit something wavered as she turned, grey eyes shimmering in the light.

"…I just thought that thing with the name was pretty cute."

His lips tugged upward, diverting the question. "It was a very Usami Sayaka thing to do—if it's fine to say that."

Her shoulders relaxed slightly as pink bloomed on her cheeks again. "That's a relief. And yes, it's fine by me."

Itsuki swallowed as he tried to stop the feelings well up inside him before his heart abruptly clenched.

No. He'd told himself he wouldn't do this—pretend that things were okay when they weren't. Sure, it would involve discussing some hefty feelings and a heavy topic, but it needed to be addressed. And it would be absolutely hypocritical to not speak his own mind.

So just as she was about to turn back around, he reached out his hand and jumped out of bed. His bare feet hit the floorboards.

"Wait! There's one more thing."

She stopped in her tracks and looked to him. Her eyes widened slightly.

"K-Kisaragi, erm, what's going on? Is something the matter?"

"Yes, actually. It's about something more serious, more… personal, I suppose."

Sayaka swallowed heavily as she covered her face.

"Oh. W-we don't have to do this now, do we? Can't we talk about this later? Postpone it a little?"

He gripped his fist in front of him as if to fortify his feelings.

"Old me might've cowered and pretended. But that's not my style anymore."

"W-what are you talking about, Kisaragi?"

"It's honestly a lot of things, but I feel like I need to tell you. It's important that you know—"

She cut him off with a wave of her hands as she blurted.

"O-okay. I understand! We can talk about things later. B-but can you please cover yourself first?"

The world froze for a moment once it registered. He felt a draft pass over him.

Heat rose in his face as he slowly and calmly returned to the bed.

"I am sorry. I swear I'm not a pervert."

"N-no. I understand. It's not your fault." She tugged her dress's collar, trying not to eye him as he concealed himself back under the covers.

An awkward silence stretched between the two before she exhaled heavily.

"I'll uh, be back with some new clothes for you. Then we can discuss this more properly. I… have a few things I'd like to discuss too. I-if that's alright?"

His heart nearly beat out of his chest in mortification as he nodded. Two birds with one stone, he supposed.

"Sure. Sounds good."

"G-great!" She gave him a shaky thumbs-up, heading towards the door.

Before she walked out and closed it though, she added one last thing.

"…Please take care of yourself until I'm back. Okay, Itsuki?"

"!" His heart skipped a beat upon hearing his name, though he tried to keep himself as composed as possible.

"Thanks. And I'll try, though furniture has defeated me before."

That brought a light smile to her face before she shut the door.

"…" Once silence returned and her footsteps faded down the hallway, Itsuki clenched his eyes shut and covered his face with his pillow.

Maybe this was a blessing in disguise? A chance to think about what he would say to her and how in more detail.

He paused a moment more as he began to think about Sayaka, and a bitter-sweet warmth claimed him.

He let out all of the air in his chest as his mind spun.