Chapter 18

Koji slowly opened his eyes, his ears full of a loud ringing sound. He felt as if he had been hit by a truck going at full speed, and when he tried to move, his body protested at the motion.

The air was filled with soot and ash, and Koji coughed as he tried to take a breath. He quickly ripped off a strip of cloth from the bottom of his tunic to cover his mouth and nose with. Only then did he feel like rising from the floor and looking around.

It was a scene of utter devastation. The warehouse had been blown to smithereens, and most of the floor was on fire. The shelves had been blasted apart and lay in pieces all over the ground, and the walls that were still standing had been peeled outwards like an open flower. Thick columns of smoke poured into the sky, while cinders and embers drifted around him like fireflies.

It was only then that Koji realized he was still maintaining the shield around himself. He looked around to see if anyone else was still standing. Scattered all around him were the twisted and broken bodies of the platoon that had come with him, all of them almost certainly dead.

Koji moved his feet and they bumped into something.

He looked down and gasped in horror. Sylvia was lying at his feet, unconscious. She looked as though she had received less of the blast than everyone else, but she had not been as lucky as Koji to be fully inside his shield when the bomb had detonated. Her shield arm had been blown clean off, leaving a bleeding stump just below her elbow. The rest of her was soot-streaked and scorched, and Koji knew that he must look similar. For a terrifying moment Koji thought Sylvia dead, but then he saw her chest rise and fall and knew that at least she was still alive.

Adding to the clamor, the ringing of bells came into earshot as Behalan’s fire control department rushed onto the scene. Joining them was another contingent of Order soldiers and healers.

“Why…” Koji mumbled numbly as he knelt down next to Sylvia, wiping the ash off her face with his hand. “I… I didn’t mean to…” Angry tears came to his eyes. “I didn’t…” He punched the ground, welcoming the pain that came with the gesture.

He stayed kneeling among the flames until the rescuers finally reached him and pulled him out of the wreckage, tears streaming down his cheeks.

***

Koji was taken back to the Order’s headquarters to be seen to by healers. He knew that he had gotten off lightly, very lightly. All he had to show for the ordeal were a few scratches and a mild ringing in his ears that the healers said would wear off after a few hours.

He stayed at the infirmary for a few hours, being tended to by various people from the Order. Outside, he could still see the smoke rising from the Market District and felt a lump rise in his throat as he thought of all the men who had died because of his over-eagerness. He looked down and saw the medal of bravery, still pinned to his chest. Koji felt a strong urge to tear it off and throw it away, but he decided against it for now.

Footfalls came. Three sets of them. Koji looked up from his despair-induced trance and saw the three High Lords of the Order come in. They came straight to his station and stopped in front of him.

“Koji,” High Lord Tristan said as a way of greeting.

Koji looked up at the High Lords’ faces, feeling totally deflated. He could barely bring himself to look any of the High Lords in the eye.

“We received the news about what happened in the Market District moments ago,” High Lords Eliana told Koji. “However, details on what actually happened in there are scarce. As one of the sole survivors of the incident, we would like to ask you about what transpired down there, seeing as Sylvia is in no shape to answer our questions.”

Koji said nothing. He could not bring himself to speak of what he had done. He clenched his fists at his side until his nails bit into his palms; he felt as though he was being smothered by a dark cloud of despair and shame.

The High Lords looked at Koji without showing any emotion. They seemed to be waiting for him to say something.

Finally, High Lord Tristan broke the silence.

“I see that whatever happened at the Market District has affected you greatly,” He said with a sigh. “We will let you collect your thoughts for the time being. When you are ready, please come and see us in the meeting chamber.”

Koji nodded dumbly, barely acknowledging the High Lords as they left. He sighed and placed his head in his hands.

How did this happen? He asked himself miserably. I should have listened to Sylvia.

The whole experience still felt surreal to him. He replayed the moment over and over in his mind, each time seeing the lid of the box come off as if in slow motion, and seeing the explosive inside.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! He thought to himself. If he had not been caught by surprise, maybe he could have done something different. Contained the bomb in a force field, used his powers to push everyone away to safety, anything but what had actually happened. Because of him and his hesitation, forty Order soldiers were now dead, and Sylvia was maimed for his mistake.

Koji sat there, slumped over. Eventually he took his head out of his hands and looked down at the medal on his chest.

The Order had given him this medal for a reason; he was brave, he had to live up to the High Lords’ expectations of him. And part of being brave was owning up to his mistakes.

I’ll go and tell the High Lords what happened. What really happened. He decided after a few moments of thought. He had been trusted to lead this mission, and if he was to live up to the accolades that the Order had given him, then he had to own up to what had happened out there. Even if it meant that he might be punished for it.

He felt his stomach churn as he considered the trust that his platoon had put in him, the trust Sylvia had put in him. He had let them all down, and because of his actions, Sylvia would never be able to fight like she used to ever again. The least he could do was take responsibility for it. It was the right thing to do.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Koji stood and left the Order’s infirmary. It was now nighttime and he kept to the shadows, deliberately avoiding the other Order soldiers who were still on patrol at this hour.

Eventually, he reached the High Lords’ meeting chambers. The guards who normally stood sentinel at the doors were missing, and Koji realized with a pang that they had been among those killed at the Market District.

Still, the doors were unlocked and Koji quietly let himself inside.

As soon as Koji entered, he heard some low voices talking further on in. He was about to announce himself when he heard High Lord Tristan’s voice.

“And you’re absolutely sure we should keep that Koji boy as our poster soldier?”

“We have already invested much into making him a hero of the Order,” High Lord Eliana said. “Were we to turn on him now, the rest of the Order would ask questions. Difficult questions.”

“Some hero he turned out to be,” High Lord Tristan spat, his voice carrying an unfamiliar tone of derision. “Today we lost more soldiers than we have in the past three years combined. Had he been any other member of the Order, I would have him whipped.”

“Not to mention we lost Sylvia,” High Lord Sampson’s deep voice was less loud than usual, but Koji could hear him perfectly. “Without her, we will need to appoint someone new to keep an eye on Koji.”

”Sylvia played her part very well,” High Lord Eliana lamented. “Perhaps a little too well. We will have to make sure our next pick is able to keep themselves less attached.”

Koji’s eyes widened as he heard the High Lords speak. His mind was reeling. Surely, this was all some kind of joke?

“It is a good thing that Hagane boy is such a gullible glory hound,” High Lord Tristan said. “A few compliments and he falls right in line. Making him out to be a hero was the best idea we’ve had in ages. We can control him and his power, and fight the Magecroft Organization at the same time. And he doesn’t suspect a thing.”

“What a difference a little parade makes,” High Lord Sampson chuckled. “Did you see him showing off at your speech, Tristan? He clearly has no idea what it takes to be a real hero. Despite what the public thinks, all Koji is is a useful weapon to point at the interlopers.”

“I would still like to know what happened down at the Market District,” High Lord Eliana said. “If only so that we know how best to proceed. It seems the Magecroft Organization has outwitted us today.”

High Lord Sampson laughed. “Ha! Not for long. With Koji at our disposal, it’s only a matter of time before we wipe the stain of magic from this city. And then, we can move on to the whole of Firosa.”

Koji had heard enough. He slowly backed out of the meeting chamber, a hollow feeling growing inside the pit of his stomach.

The High Lords’ words rang in his head, each one like a hammer blow. They had just been using him all this time, like a tool to be discarded. Even worse, the possibility that Sylvia had just been pretending to be his friend the whole time made him feel like throwing up.

Koji stumbled away from the Order’s headquarters, his eyes full of tears and his teeth clenched to the point that it hurt his jaw. He welcomed the pain, as it distracted him from the ball of hurt that had gathered in his chest.

He did not belong here. He had never belonged here. More than anything else now, Koji wanted to go home. He missed the comforting presence of his parents, and the smiles of his schoolmates. He was even willing to go back to being an ordinary schoolboy if it meant that he could be free from this pain.

Before he knew it, Koji found himself wandering through the nocturnal streets of Behalan, not caring where he went. Right now he would have been happy to find a deep, dark hole and curl up inside, and vanish forever.

So wrapped up in his thoughts of misery and self pity that Koji’s ears almost missed the sound of someone calling his name.

“Koji… Koji…” The voice was feminine and ethereal, and it was coming from down an alley.

Not caring who it was, Koji wiped his eyes and looked down the alley. Without the moon illuminating the street, it was dark and uninviting. However, he saw something that made him immediately consider going to the voice. A pair of glowing orange eyes.

Feeling his way down the alley, Koji found himself standing in front of the dark cloaked figure from before, only this time there was no air of hostility from them. Only an aura of calm and understanding.

“You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?” The cloaked figure said, sympathy in her voice. “But it’s alright now. I can help you, if you want.”

“Why would you want to help me?” Koji muttered, feeling dejected.

“Because we are kindred spirits,” The cloaked figure said. Then she turned on her heel and began to walk further down the alley, silent as a ghost. “Come with me, Koji. It’s time someone showed you the truth.”