Desire

Mahannana silently followed Esmae back to her tavern, still in shock. ‘I know that the game’s creator said that the people who had been used as character models would receive the memories of their in-game counterparts, but I didn’t seriously think it would happen!’ Even though she was following a stranger through a dark alley, she felt strangely at ease. ‘She’s intimidating but...’ Mahannana watched Esmae’s hair bob in synch with her firm steps. ‘She’s not lying. She looks exactly like Esmae in Night World Odessey. But, more than that, she feels familiar and safe.’

“Here it is.” Mahannana looked up at the brightly lit tavern. It was made of beautiful, richly colored logs and latticed windows. It looked like a cozy European cabin. She squinted at the illuminated sign. “Fat-Faced Esmo’s? What’s with that awful name?” “Oh, when I first moved to Aetheron as a teenager they used to bully me for looking ugly. That was the nasty nickname they gave me, so I figured I’d own it and throw it back in their face.” Esmae smirked.

“That’s stupid! You don’t have a fat face at all, and I’ve always thought you were so pretty.” Mahannana said honestly. The gypsy-style design of the tavern owner and her unique eyes had always captivated her. Esmae was like Bisky, in that she was a stubborn and headstrong woman, but she was far more mature and, instead of being vulgar, she controlled people with her sheer overpowering aura. An ideal personality for someone who ran a tavern and had to control unruly adventurers.

“Pff! I appreciate the sentiment.” Esmae snickered, but the twinkle in her eyes gave away her genuine appreciation. “C’mon in, Mahannana-Chan.” She pushed the door open, causing the bell to ring. Mahannana looked around. Other than a few old men scattered around the tables, the massive hall was empty. “Where’s the customers?” She asked as Esmae slipped behind the bar. “Oh, I lied to everyone except a few old timers that we’d be closed tonight.” She took an apron off the wall and put it on. “I wouldn’t be able to talk to you if there was a full house, right?” She patted the bar counter. “Take a seat.” Mahannana carefully climbed onto the tall stool, feeling like she was in a circus balancing act. "Would you give me the honor of making you a drink?” “But...I’m fifteen. I can’t drink!” Mahannana protested. “A non-alcoholic one, obviously!” Mahannana nodded as Esmae turned her back.

“So, I suppose I should clarify that I’m not Esmae.” The woman said as she got busy. “I’m the person that character was based on, but my name is Esmoranthe. You can call me Esmo, because I know it’s a mouthful. Either way, I’m myself and not that character.” Esmo pulled a glass from underneath the counter. “You said you were fifteen in real life?” Mahannana nodded. “I’m assuming that Mahannana isn’t your real name since you’re Japanese, right?” Mahannana perched perilously on the edge of the stool. “Correct. My name in Japan was Madoka Suzuki but, due to personal reasons...I guess I decided to reinvent myself here?” She shrugged. “I don’t want to be called Madoka anymore. I’m Mahannana.” “Got it.” Esmo poured different liquids into a shaker. “What about your mother, Sel? Is she actually-?” “Yeah. That was my real mother playing the game with me. Her name is Selena and that’s what she goes by here. She ended up here, too. And is a wolf now.”

“Interesting. From what I hear, you’ve been studying magecraft with the keeper of the great library and started taking quests.” Esmo started shaking the container. “Well, since I have a chance to live here, I want to be able to help other people, so I need to learn magic, and mama and I are taking quests to make money. But how did you know that?” “Well, I run a tavern, you know? Word gets around. Oh, and I’ve been following you.”Mahannana froze. “W-what?! Why?” Esmo gave her a sideways glare. “It’s not like I was doing anything creepy or sinister!” “Uh, following me without my knowledge when we’re strangers is pretty creepy!” Mahannana trembled. “W-why exactly did you do that?"

Esmo paused as she was pouring her concoction into the glass. “Well, I got memories of you from that suspicious man who sent you here, you know?” Her tanned face turned pink. “I know this sounds foolish, because we never really met and they’re just fake memories from a person that doesn’t exist but, even so...you were always kind to “that” me. You always treated me like I was cool and called me a friend. It made me want to meet you.” Esmo smiled apologetically. "I know that’s strange but...it just felt right, you know? I had no clue where to even look for you until people started talking about a mage girl and wolf making deliveries. You’re a local celebrity. I wasn’t sure you were the right person, but then I saw you and your mother delivering fruit to a vendor I buy from.” The woman leaned over the counter and stretched out her arms as a sort of nostalgic look came over her face. “I’m not...great with people outside of my tavern. I have no friends because I scare people. I guess I was paranoid that you’d be scared of the “real Esmae” even though we look like twins? It’s stupid but...it was a game and, for all I knew, you could just not like me since fiction and reality are two different things. Ah,  sorry to ramble!” She frantically stood up and busied herself with slicing an orange.

“Long story short...I was a wuss and kept watching you until I felt comfortable enough to talk to you.” She arranged the cup until she felt satisfied. “Here ya’ go. A nonalcoholic orange dream.” She slid the glass over to Mahannana. The girl stared at the drink. It was a nice pastel orange with foam and orange slices floating on top. Cautiously, she took a sip.” Oh, that’s good! It tastes like ice cream!” She took a deep chug. Esmo laughed and grinned. “See, I know my stuff! And those are oranges from your friend’s farm!” Mahannana stopped herself from inhaling the drink in one sitting. “I think you and Aqua would get along. He’s a great cook!” She ran her finger around the rim of the glass, unsure of what to do since eye contact was too uncomfortable. “I’m glad you wanted to meet me, really. But I’m not what you think I am. I was a defective loser until I came here. All I did was play games with mama, I was failing school, and I had no friends. I’m not interesting or worth being friends with.”

“Knock that shit off!” Esmo rolled her eyes without a hint of anger. “Answer this; are you the same person who programed what the game version of Mahannana said and did?” “Yeah.” “That character acted the way it did because that’s how you wanted her to act, right?” Mahannana nodded. “Well, then you are worth being friends with! That character being an avatar doesn’t erase the fact you were the one controlling it and that it was a front for your personality and feelings. When you get down to it, that Mahannana is you, and that bubbly, nice girl is who I want to be friends with.”

Mahannana didn’t know what to say. ‘Someone actually wanted to seek me out? I left that deep an impression on someone, even if it was just my actions in a game?’ Her eyes teared up as she sniffled. “No, no, none of that emo junk!” Esmo waved her hands wildly at the girl. “Sorry.” Mahannana rubbed her eyes. “You think it wouldn’t be so shocking after I already made friends here, but that’s one of the nicest things everyone has ever said to me.” Esmo’s face softened. “Guess we’re more alike than I thought!”

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“Selena, please stop pacing, it’s distracting.” Aqua pleaded. “It’s been an hour since the sun started going down! Ma-Chan should be back by now!” The wolf continued creaking back and forth across the floor. “It’s barely dark out, and Ma-Chan is mature. She probally just got distracted on the way home or ran into someone she knows. This might come as a shock to you, but this sort of thing is normal for our town. It’s never fully asleep and people are always coming, going, and visiting. Its the starting town for serious adventurers.” Aqua set his book down on the table. “Even if she doesn’t come back until midnight, I’m confident she’s fine. This world isn’t like yours and Umbria isn’t anything like a capitol or port city would be. For the love of god relax!” He sighed in annoyance. “The only thing I’m worried about is her getting back soon so we can eat cause I’m starving!”

Selena ignored Aqua. ‘What in the world are you doing this time, Ma-Chan?'

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“Oh wow, seriously?” Esmo’s eyes went wide. “You only took three days to master that healing spell?” “Mmm-hmm!” Mahannana nodded as she popped a deep-fried bean into her mouth. “No wonder the librarian calls you a prodigy! Learning any magic, let alone healing magic, that fast isn’t normal! Well...unless you’re in a special situation like mine.” “Like yours? Can you do magic?” Mahannana asked curiously. “Yes, but I’m not a mage. Let’s just say it’s like your swan friend being able to do water magic and leave it there. I’d prefer not getting into the particulars cause it’s embarrassing.” Emso waved her hand like she was shooing away Mahannana’s question.

“This is nice, but I should probably go home soon.” Mahannana said reluctantly. “Mama will probably be worried.” “Sounds good. Before you go... tell me, how would you feel about working here?” Mahannana’s head snapped up. “What?” “Well, you kept talking about how you’re trying to make money to help your mother, and I’ve needed another waitress for a while. Everyone who’s applied so far was annoying.” Esmo leaned on the counter. “Taking a steady evening job would help you and I think your personality would be a good fit. I’d pay you by the hour and you can keep any tips you make.” Esmo grabbed a rag and began scrubbing the counter. “No pressure, just something to think about.”

Mahannana had never thought about working in a tavern, but she wasn’t opposed to the idea. ‘This seems like a fun and vibrant place. Taverns in this world are community-oriented establishments and aren’t sleazy like the bars back home.’ “I actually like the idea!” Mahannana admitted. “But I have to talk to mama first.” Esmo nodded in approval.

Mahannana felt giddy with adrenaline and hope. “If this works out and I can save more money, then maybe my dream will be within reach in the next year or two!” “Hey, you keep talking about needing money. What’s this dream of yours?” Mahannana hesitated. Should she tell Esmo about her ambition, or would she think she was being naive? ‘Well, she trusted me and sought me out to become friends just based on interactions between our characters in a game. If she’s willing to go on a limb that big, then she shouldn’t laugh at my dreams...’ She took a deep breath.

“I want to open a shop. I don’t know how to describe it, but I want to open a shop where people can come and get help with both medical problems and just general problems. Sort of like a consultation service, but cheaper than posting on a guild bord or going to a doctor. I want to help people, but I also want me and mama to have a place to live and a source of income and, now that Bisky and Pip are in the picture, I want to be able to employ and support them, too. But...nothing is cheap. If I want to open a shop, let alone have low fees, I need money. Buying a building alone will take a small fortune.” She cringed. “I know, it’s such a silly idea! But...” She looked down at her hands. “It’s what I really want. Being able to own my own business and live out my life in this world with my friends and family is my deepest desire.” Esmo slammed her hands down on the counter, causing Mahannana to jump.

“Don’t be stupid! That’s an amazing idea!” Esmo’s eyes glittered. “R-really?” “Hell yeah! This is the town of beginnings! With all these dimwit adventures, you’ll have a steady business! It’s a great idea! Besides, I always wanted to open my own business and look where I am now!” She looked proudly at Mahannana. “You have a noble dream, and nothing to apologize for! It’s what you want, and you should proudly own it!”

“R-right!” Mahannana smiled. ‘I’m not ready to tell mama yet, but I’m glad that someone believes in my dream.’