When Life Gives You Lemons...

Over time, I started to get used to my job working at the magic shop. It was rough at first, but now I quite like it. Although it’s certainly become predictable. The routine can get especially stale when we’re slow and lately, we’re ALWAYS slow. I could kill for a Black Friday rush right about now. Unfortunately, there aren’t any bargain holidays like that in The Emperor of the Lantern books.

I tap a quill against the front desk anxiously. I really want something to happen. Anything. Part of me is really starting to crave some excitement here. I’m thinking, for my side hustle, I want to try something on the job board!

The front door bell rings. We’ve got a customer. Finally some stimulation!

“Hello! Welcome to Frank’s magic shop. How may I help you?”

“We’re just here to look at the job board,” Spector says.

Sheesh. So direct. I wish he’d at least pretend to be browsing for something. When Minerva mentioned that he was an expert in The Emperor of the Lantern books, I was really hoping I’d have someone to have someone to chat with here. I can’t help but feel like he’s avoiding me though. Both on a physical level and an emotional one which really sucks!

“Hey June!”

The much more friendly labradoodle of a man nicknamed Jet waves to me with a cheerful expression. The golden armor he dons is equally as dazzling as his radiant smile. Those teeth are bright! Seriously, he should do toothpaste commercials.

Apparently the isekais call him “Jet” because he’s always so quick to help others. That and I think might have been a nickname for in the real world, but I’m not sure. Maybe he's military? Or perhaps an athlete? Those are just some of the rumors I’ve heard. This guy doesn’t really talk about what he does for work at our meetings.

“How are you doing today June?” Jet asks intently awaiting my reply.
Seriously, this guy is amazing. Jet is always considerate and perky despite how hard working he is. It would take me six cups of coffee to have as much energy as he does. Also, he takes A LOT of bounties. Out of all the people who come into the shop to look at the job board, he’s the one who visits the most. The best part? He even takes the jobs that don’t pay out. The dude just wants to help people.

“I’m doing pretty good. So what’s on the board today?” I ask back.

“Only a few postings. Nothing too tough though. Just bandits and some low grade monsters.” Jet responds.

Now that the shop is all fixed, Frank has given permission to close the shop early if we’re not busy. Today has been ESPECIALLY dead. I don’t even think a necromancer could bring people back to the store. Maybe now’s my chance to try something new!

“...Do you need any help?”

“No, you’re not ready for this.” Spector responds coldly.

Pssh, typical Spector. The guy totally underestimates me. The thing is, my spellcasting abilities have improved. While Maddie doesn’t tutor me like she used to, I still sometimes have her try to teach me a spell or two for fun! We just take it real slow now. Like molasses slow, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help! Besides, it’s not like we’ll be taking bounties to defeat the tyrannical Emperor Xaban. What could go wrong?

“Are you scared of being shown up by a rookie Spector?” Jet asks in an attempt to bait him. Aww the guy is trying to help me!

“No…”

“Well then, prove it.” Jet says, egging him on. He looks at me and winks. He’s gonna break him. Ha! I expect no less from the King of Charisma.

Spector sighs, motioning with his hand for me to come along before grabbing a bounty from the job board. YES FINALLY! A proper adventure! I excitedly run around the cashier’s desk and scurry to the entrance, grabbing my wizard staff and hat. I flip the sign on our newly installed front door from “open” to “closed”. For the first time since working here, I get to end the day early for adventuring. How exciting!

Unfortunately, while Jet is an absolute gem that I’d be more than happy to adventure with, Spector seems a little bitter. Is he mad at me for coming along? My face drops in disappointment.

“Don’t worry, he’s usually like this,” Jet says. “The guy just likes to work alone. It took ages for me to convince him I could join him on his bounties.”

“Is that so? Well, excuse me for cramping your style ‘Mr. I Work Alone’!” I call out to him.

Spector’s face flushes red as he gets flustered. I gotta admit teasing him is kinda fun when he reacts that way and he deserves it! But… I guess I should probably apologize. Eh, but that’s a future June problem. Now, we’re going to fight some monsters!

“Before we take off, I’m going to grab some supplies.” Jet hurries off leaving Spector and I alone for a few minutes. We stand around awkwardly not sure what to say to one another. I can tell he doesn’t want me here. A bit rude, but I’m sure it’s because his sense of vigilante justice is on par with Batman. The dude just likes to handle things by himself. I’m glad Jet was able to get through to him somewhat. Y’know, because having help is okay.

Jet comes back to us holding a massive barrel above his shoulders with one hand. I wouldn’t expect less from our paladin-like hero, but damn! He’s ripped!

“Alright, so since this is your first experience on a hunt, I picked up an easy bounty to start us off.” Spector says.

“Oh ye of little faith, do you doubt my magic?” I puff out my chest proudly as I speak.

Spector doesn’t respond. Crickets. Damn that hurt. I would have preferred it if he said something sarcastic like Azuki usually does. To fight off the dead air, Spector fills us in on the details of our mission.

“A farmer down this road has been dealing with a monster problem lately. It’s consuming his tools, crops, and even prized cattle. The creature has grown in size and is sure to be a massive headache if it gets any bigger. We’re here to kill it before it does.”

Huh that sounds interesting, I wonder what kind of creature it could be? We continue to travel along a dirt road that takes us further from the town. It’s a long walk, but eventually we get to an expanse of fields growing an array of crops like wheat, barley, and potatoes.

I could see that some of the food was thieved. I crouch down to plots to get a closer look. Upon further inspection, it looks like a slimy residue was left in place of the missing crops. What could have caused this?

Just when I start to ponder, an oddly lumpy shadow appears behind me growing ever larger. I turn around surprised to see an oozy mint colored pile of jelly slowly encroaching. It’s a slime monster.

What’s terrifying is not just its size, but its contents. Inside the ooze are farmers tools like rakes and scythes, various crops, and a skeleton which eerily resembles that of a cow. Oh my God. What an udderly terrible way to go.

I back up quickly to join Spector and Jet. Thankfully, the slime moves at a snail’s pace and can’t catch up to me. However, it can certainly catch up to the cattle grazing nearby. The slime changes its direction and begins to move towards its next bovine target instead. No, not Bessie!

We need to act fast. Jet and Spector begin to ready the barrel they brought for this fight. I wonder, what could we possibly use to defeat this? They open the lid to reveal that the inside is full of freshly squeezed lemon juice. Okay, now I’m confused.

“What’s THAT for?” I ask the boys.

“Oh it’s lemon juice!” Jet responds. Thank you, but that’s not exactly what I asked.

“Maddie the wizard told us that to get rid of slime stains from her lab coat, she used to use something like lemon juice. I don’t exactly know how it works, but it does.” Spector explains.

“Yeah, we’ve been using this chemistry trick for ages!” Jet adds.

Huh. That’s pretty clever. Wait a minute, if it’s THAT simple, then what do they need me for?!

“So what do you want me to do then?!” I ask exasperatedly.

“Uh, could you grab some of the farmer’s buckets and fill them with this lemon juice?” Jet asks politely.

Oh wow. They clearly didn’t need me for this job did they?! So, they’re going to fight the creature and I’m just going to sit back filling up buckets like the water boy who’s forever on the bench? That sucks.

Well I am new to this, so I take the job with dignity filling buckets with lemon juice while the boys try tossing the liquid onto the ooze. Sometimes they hit the slime, but it doesn’t do too much damage. Other times they miss the mark completely. It’s like watching the world’s most pathetic water balloon fight.

I look at Jet’s sword sheathed at his hip. It’s a shame that weapons would just get sucked into the creature as soon as it touches it. Unless… wait a minute! How did they not think of this before?! It’s so simple!

I run forward towards the guys and the giant slime monster to pick up something important off of Jet. Spector starts to warn me that I’m close to the ooze, as if I don’t know better. I’m confident I know how to help. I want to help.

“Jet, can I borrow this?” I ask.

“Uh sure?” Jet answers.

“Thank you!” I respond, taking the sword from his hip. I look behind me and Spector seems rather concerned that I have a weapon. Whatever, I’m not just doing this to show them I’m capable. I need them to see what efficiency looks like! Otherwise we’ll be here all night.

I head back to the barrel sword in hand. I dip the entirety of the weapon deep into the lemon juice, then rest it on top of the barrel. I grab my wizard staff and concentrate on the levitation spell. I haven’t moved something quite this heavy before, so hopefully I can do it.

The sword begins to hover. I move forward to direct the blade so that it's positioned perfectly above the slime. Then, I thrust the staff in a downwards motion causing the sword to drop through to the ground below. I concentrate on bringing the blade back to me, catching it in the air with my free hand. The ooze gently slides into two separate parts, perfectly symmetrical. How’s that for an oddly satisfying compilation video?!

The guys look back at me stunned at what just happened.

“Here!” I say as I toss the sword back over to Jet. Sheesh, that was a horrible throw! The blade flies toward him much too low, narrowly missing his shin. No wonder Spector looked so worried when he saw me grab a weapon. Thankfully, what I lack in strength I more than make up for in… You know what, scratch that. I’m not that smart either.

Spector runs over to the lemon barrel to dip one of the farmer’s hoes into the liquid to help fight off the monster. I grab a nearby, actually I have no idea what this thing is, and do the same.

Jet starts to thrash his sword at the two smaller slimes. Surprisingly, it’s much easier to manage multiple baby oozes than one really big one. While they do multiply for a bit, it’s not long before we get to destroying them for good.

“This is so much better. Why didn’t we think of this before?” Jet says while he slashes away happily.

“I don’t know…” Spector says.

He then looks at me and smirks. Ah. What was that? I can’t help but feel proud that I came up with a smart idea. And this broody little elf man for some reason also thinks that I’m smart? I feel like I must be dreaming.

Honestly, this tingly sense of pride is a much nicer feeling than being at school. Almost everyone there thinks I’m stupid. But to their credit, I have done A TON of stupid things there.

Eventually the slime is defeated. All that is left are the objects inside of the gelatin creature. That being a few farmer’s tools, some corn, and a rather unfortunate cow. Rest in peace Gertrude.

With the bounty completed, we start to head back on the long winding road to the town. I can’t help but feel that I need to clear the air. I’m not mad that Spector underestimated me. Everyone does that. Even my mom. But how can I prove to others that I can be trusted if I’m never given the chance?

“Spector…” I clear my throat and begin to speak. “I know you’re trying to protect me because you don’t think I’m ready for adventuring stuff like this, but I’ll never learn if I don’t try. I’m not a princess locked in a tower. I can fend for myself. And if I ever do need help, I’ll ask. We went in as a team didn’t we?”

He nods. He looks me in the eyes with full attention.

“Then let’s act like a team. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes, but I’m an adult. Those are my mistakes to make. Besides, if I do screw up, that’s what safety in numbers is for. And I’ll keep training to get stronger both physically and magically. So will you two still have me?”

“Of course!”

“Yeah…”

They both agree emphatically. Spector apologizes profusely on the way back, getting a little more embarrassed than he should. I don’t want him to be upset, it’s an honest mistake really. But I’ve been in this town for a few months already, I want to be helpful in any way I can. I want to be a hero, and I’m glad that I finally have a team that will let me.