Volume 3 - Chapter 31: An Unwanted Houseguest

My office was my sanctuary. It was a pocket dimension of perfect, predictable order. The gentle hum of the celestial servers was my background music, the scent of static and ozone my potpourri. After the chaos of Mundania, I craved the beautiful, beautiful boredom of my divine duties. I was just putting the finishing touches on a soul's reincarnation package—a peaceful life as a capybara, a very popular choice these days—when a shadow in the corner of my office deepened.

It stretched, warped, and then deposited a familiar, impeccably dressed figure into the armchair I reserved for high-level disciplinary hearings.

Isao, the God of Death, held a steaming, star-dusted mug in his hand. "Cosmic coffee?" he offered, his amethyst eyes twinkling with amusement. "It has notes of dark matter and existential dread. You'd love it."

I dropped my data-slate on the desk with a clatter. "Isao! What are you doing here?! This is a restricted realm! My realm!"

"Relax, Aka-chan," he said, taking a leisurely sip. "I have a visitor's pass. Turns out, the Underworld and the Reincarnation Division have a lot of administrative overlap. I just had to file Form 734-Delta, 'Interdepartmental Visitation for the Purpose of Professional Annoyance.' It's a real thing. Look it up."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a celestial migraine coming on. "There is no such form."

"There is now," he said with a wink. "So, how's it feel to be back behind the desk? The mortals seem to be missing you. I've been monitoring their emotional output. Very dramatic. Lots of pining. The one named Kenta has been trying to figure out how to 'isekai' himself into the heavens. It's adorable and deeply misguided."

Hearing their names sent a pang through my chest, one I quickly suppressed. I was a professional. "Their well-being is no longer under my jurisdiction," I said stiffly. "And your presence here is distracting. I have a job to do."

I turned back to my terminal, determined to ignore him. I pulled up the next soul file. A young man from a world called 'Earth' who had died after being hit by the classic reincarnation delivery vehicle: a truck. His request was… predictable.

Request: "I want to be the hero of a fantasy world with a super-awesome cheat skill, and a harem of beautiful elf girls!"

I sighed. It was the millionth request of this type I had processed. Isao leaned over my shoulder, his chin practically resting on it. I could feel the cold radiating from him.

"Oh, a classic," he purred in my ear. "The 'Harem Protagonist Special.' A bit cliché, don't you think? You're the Head of Creative Problem Solving. Surely you can do better than that."

He was right, and the fact that he was right was infuriating. My time in Mundania had changed me. The old me would have just assigned 'Sword God Mastery' and been done with it. The new me… the new me had ideas.

"Fine," I muttered. "I'll handle it."

"I'll just watch, then," Isao said, retreating to his chair. "Think of me as… quality control."

I gritted my teeth. My perfect, orderly sanctuary had just been invaded by a handsome, smirking agent of chaos. This was going to be a long eternity.