Chapter 32: The Tyranny of Delicious Pastries

I was determined to prove to Isao that I was the master of my domain. I would handle the Harem Protagonist soul with such creative flair that it would shut him up for at least a century.

"He wants to be a hero," I mused, tapping on my screen. "And he wants to be surrounded by beautiful women who adore him. Standard stuff."

"Sounds like a recipe for a very boring story," Isao commented from his armchair, idly inspecting his scythe's reflection.

"The key," I said, ignoring him, "is reinterpretation."

I began to craft the soul's new life. I'd send him to a peaceful, idyllic world with no demon kings or evil empires. His 'cheat skill' would be 'Divine Baking Mastery.' He would be able to create pastries so delicious, so utterly irresistible, that they would inspire fanatical devotion in all who tasted them. He would be the hero of his village, lauded for his legendary croissants.

And his 'harem'? He would be surrounded, day and night, by a legion of adoring grandmothers, all competing for his attention and his secret recipe for the perfect scone. He'd get everything he asked for, just not in the way he expected. It was a work of genius.

I was just about to finalize the transfer when Isao got up and strolled over, his coffee mug in hand.

"Not bad, Aka-chan," he said, peering at my screen. "A bit passive-aggressive, but it shows promise." He leaned in closer for a better look and, in a moment of theatrical clumsiness that was so obviously fake it made my teeth ache, he 'tripped.'

His mug of cosmic coffee tipped, and a single, shimmering black drop splashed right onto my console.

"Oops," he said, not sounding sorry at all.

An error message flashed on my screen in bright red letters. [SOUL PACKAGE CORRUPTED. UNKNOWN SUBSTANCE DETECTED. INITIATING TRANSFER WITH COMPROMISED PARAMETERS.]

"Isao, what did you do?!" I shrieked, frantically trying to cancel the sequence. But it was too late. The soul was already gone, shot off into the multiverse with a drop of 'existential dread' mixed into his 'Divine Baking Mastery.'

I slammed my hands on my desk. "You did that on purpose!"

"It was an accident," he said, the picture of innocence. "The floor here is surprisingly… floor-like. Who could have predicted?"

A new alert popped up on my screen. It was a live feed from the world I had just sent the soul to. A small, peaceful village was in a state of panic. At the center of it all was my reincarnated baker. His eyes glowed with a faint dark light. He was holding up a perfectly baked baguette.

"Behold!" he was shouting to the terrified villagers. "The Bread of Despair! Eat it and know the crushing meaninglessness of your existence! Then, you shall all become my 'Baguette Brigade' as we march to conquer this world in the name of gluten and nihilism!"

His harem of grandmothers were cowering behind a fountain.

I had created a Pastry Overlord. An Emo Emperor of Eclairs. This was a disaster. Isao was laughing so hard he had to hold onto the back of his chair for support.