Lurking Behind Your Shadow (Ayato)

Ayato

I am well-aware of a figure lurking from behind me as I went inside the boy’s bathroom. I know who it is, but I still unzipped my pants without a care. As I was busy getting down with my business, he walk towards the sink in the opposite direction. Suddenly, I can hear the sound of tap being open.

Is he washing his hands? I think to myself. I zipped up my pants and slowly walk right next to him. I open up the tap without looking to my right.

“Good.... Good morning, Ayato-san.” He said, almost stuttering. I turn off the tap and glance at him.

“Good morning.” I replied back. He smiles. I noticed a couple drops of sweats trickling from down his neck. What he gotta be so nervous about? It's not like we haven't been through this before. Just talk to me normally, Nemura-san...

“Are you here to take a leak? There’s a lot of spots open. Feel free.” I said nonchalantly before pointed at the back. He shake his head. I already figured that he had no business to be here. He probably come for me. I wonder why exactly?

“Well, in that case... See ya.” I said and walked by past him. I suddenly felt a tug on my arm sleeves.

“Wait...” Nemura said. His hand is holding my right arm. I turned and look at him.

“I wanted to talk to you about what happened the other day.” He said. His hand fall down to his side. I wait for him to continue. When he didn’t, I left out a huge sigh.

“You mean about what happened in my apartment?” I asks on his behalf. He nodded.

“Forget about it...” I said. Nemura lifted up his chin.

“But, I still feel bad about it. I did something out of spite. Please, forgive me, Ayato-san.” He said. His eyes are looking directly at me. I am in no mood to talk to him about this. Especially not here.

“In that case... meet me at the rooftop after school. We can talk then.” I said and begin to walk out from the bathroom. Nemura follows me closely from behind. I immediately stopped walking. His face bumped into my back.

“Ayato-san?” Nemura asks in a low voice. I stopped because my head had suddenly feel a bit dizzy. I turned my head towards Nemura.

“Ayato san? Are you alright? Why did you stopped?” he ask. I touches my head and shake my head.

“Nothing. Just hurry up. We’re gonna be late for class.” I said. Nemura nodded his head. We’re walking side by side now. As soon as we enter the class, a couple of whispers can be heard coming from the kids.

Hey, isn’t that Nemura? What is he doing with Ayato-san?

What are those two doing together? Are they like... friends now?

Hey, why is Nemura with Ayato san? Are they like... couple now?

C...couple? Have these kids lose their goddamn mind? Me and this guy?? If this is the old me, I would’ve beaten those kids to death right then and there. Lucky for them, I'm trying to keep a low profile image and control my anger. I take a glance at the guy standing next to me. When I look at Nemura; he doesn’t seem to be bothered. If anything, he looks a little too happy about it. I can’t believe it. Does this guy actually likes it when rumors like that spread all around the class?

Why? Half the class are already afraid of me. Shouldn't he be like one of them too?

As I was thinking about Nemura odd behavior, it suddenly hits me. Is he acting this way because of that kiss on the beach? I just kiss him because I was super bored and he’s there. I didn’t know that my action left an impression on him. Well, this is bad. If this goes on, Nemura might have a different idea. Looks like we need to have that little talk on the roof fast.

*****

“So, here we are. Let’s talk.” I said. Nemura blink his eyes at me a couple of times. I crossed my arms together and sigh.

“I know what you gonna ask me, and I’m just gonna say this once. That kiss on the beach was kinda a spur in the moment thing. An accident. I didn’t mean anything by it and neither should you.” I said. He frowns.

“But, we had kiss a couple of times since then. Was that an accident too?” he asked back. Fair enough. I remembered that I did ask if I could kiss him again back at the beach.  But I’m not going to entertain his delusion any further. There’s no point in dragging a cut and dry situation like this. I crossed my arms and left out a sigh.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Nemura-san. It is what it is... If you can’t accept my explanation, then I think we’re done here.” I said and begin to walk to the door. Nemura quickly grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving.

“Stop, Ayato-san! I’m not done with you yet.” He said. I turned around. Nemura is looking pretty scary right now. He have a tight grip on my hand and a weird look on his eyes. I never seen him like this before. Almost like... a desperation. But then again, we’re never that close to begin with for me to see this side of him.

“Are you playing with me right now?” he suddenly asks. I frown.

“Huh?”

“I’m asking you... Are you playing with me?”

“I don’t understand what you trying to say. And stop grabbing my arms... You’re making me uncomfortable.” I said and tries to pull away my hand from him. He slowly releases my arm. A small tears begin to form on the corner of his eyes.

“You’re so mean...” He said and begin to wipe away his tears. I look at him in silence. That’s second time anyone had ever said that to me ever since I got here. The first one is Reina Sakamoto. But that girl had it coming. This guy in front of me, however...

I touches my head and left out a sigh.

“Well, that’s what you get for associating yourself with me. I already warned you before. About those rumors being true. What more do you want from me?” I said and look away. Nemura didn’t back down. Instead, he came forward and immediately grabbed me by the collar.

“Ayato-san... Do you still not get it? I like you! Why is it so hard for you to understand my feelings?”

“What are you talking about? We’re both guys, right? Why would I...”

“You said I should go for it if I want too. Was it all true or is it just a talk?” Nemura slap back. I turned silent again. Nemura is still looking at me with a hurtful eyes. I closed my eyes and left out a sigh.

I’m well-aware of what I had said before. When he told me about his sexual preferences out of the blue, I honestly didn’t know what to think. Before Nemura, I had never kissed anyone before. So, I just told him what he needed to hear.

I have no idea that when he asks that, he actually meant it for... me?

“Why do you like me? Is it because I’m rich? Well, I’m not. Not anymore. My father kicks me out, remember? There’s nothing to be gain even if you like me.” I said. Nemura looks like he’s about to cry.

“You really think that’s why I like you? Because you’re rich? Why, you really have a low opinion about yourself, Ayato-san.”

“Then why do you like me? It's not like got anything else going on. It will be a waste to like someone like me.” I added againbefore pushing him away. He fall down to the floor.

“Do you really need a reason to like somebody?” he asks back. I touches my hair.

“Yes. It’s wrong to like somebody without a reason. For one thing, you’re making the other person uncomfortable. Had it ever occurs to you about how I feel when you suddenly give out a confession like this?”

“No.”

“I thought so.”

“I just thought... It is too painful.”

“What do you mean?”

“I said... It’s painful to be the only one who are feeling this way! I know you don’t care for me, but I do. Ever since we kissed, all I can think about is you. I don’t know why. I never felt this way about anyone before. I think I’m about to lose my mind!” he said. Then, he hide his face on his knees. I put both of my hand inside of my pocket. So, this guy likes me... But, why? We barely even know one another. 

I like you... Honestly, what a careless thing to say.

“How much do you like me, Nemura?” I ask after a long silence. He lifted up his chin and look at me.

“As much as my chest is about to explode everytime I look at you.” He said. I clear my throat.

“Is that so? How about now?” I said and suddenly leaned my face closer to him. His face immediately become red. Well, at least his reaction is consistent. Who knows, but this could be fun?

“If I ask you to do things for me now, would you do it?” I continue.

“What sort of... things?” he asks slowly. I smirked.

“Well, you said that you’re gay, right?”

“Yes...”

“If I ask you to suck my dick right now, would you do it?” I said. Nemura suddenly turned silent. Let see how far you going to take this, Nemura-san. Anyone can claim to be anything they want. Right now, I realize that I'm that target. But, each person had their limits.

Let just see what yours then, Nemura-san...

“Alright... I’ll....I’ll do it.” He finally said. I paused. Is this guy serious? He’s blushing again. Damn, he is serious about this. But, if he’s willing... then what about me? Am I going to let whatever this is, happen? Am I really gonna let this guy suck my....

“Can I... do it?” he ask politely. I frown.

“Ehh?”

“Which way do you want me to do it? Do you want me to use my mouth or...”

“Stop! Are you serious? You’re willing to do this?” I begin to panic. He nodded. Oh sweet lord... what have I done? I thought he’s only doing this for show. I thought he's going to back down once he get too close.

I didn’t expect him to be so serious about it.

“Wait... Hold... hold on a minute. I was just joking. You don’t have to do anything.”

“But I wanted to. Please, let me prove to you, Ayato-san.”

“No. You don't have to prove to me anything. Please, stand up...”

“But, I....”

“Just stand up! I had enough of this! We’re done.” I said and walked away. As I touch my head, I begin to think about Nemura. What is going on with that guy? Why does he have to be so persistent? This is no use. My head felt dizzier more than before. As I open the door to the rooftop, I suddenly lose my balance. Then, everything went pitched-black.

*****

I slowly opened up my eyes and the first thing I see is the fan on the ceiling. I blink a couple of times and covered my eyes. The scent of fresh linen made me realize something... This isn’t my home, at least I know that. My bedsheet doesn't smell this nice. So, where am I? 

More importantly, how long have I been here?

“Are you alright, Ayato-san?” I heard a voice asking. I turned to my left. It’s Nemura Asahi. He’s looking at me with a concerned look.

“Where am I?” I immediately ask him. He look a bit of relief. I tried to stand up, but he wouldn’t let me.

“You’re not well. Please rest a bit more.” He said and touches my shoulder. I look at him but didn’t say anything. Nemura begin to get nervous.

“Did you brought me here?” I ask. He nodded his head.

“I'm sorry. Was I heavy?" I asked. He shakes his head. 

"Thanks. You may go now." I said and pulled the blanket closer to my chest. He's still standing right besides me. I left out a sigh.

"Really, I'm alright. You should go." I insisted. He shakes his head.

"But I don't wanna go. Can I just wait out here until you're fine to go home?" he asked back. I left out another sigh.

"Suit yourself." I said and turned my back to the wall. I can hear the sound of chair being dragged closer to my bed. The silences fills the air as usual. I finally turned my back to face the ceiling again. Then, I turned my head towards Nemura on my left.

"Do you need something?" he ask. I shake my head. I have bigger question in my mind that I needed to ask.

"I was actually curious.... How did you carry me here? Was it like a princess carry? Or was it like a fireman?” I ask. It's the first thing that pop's out of my head, so I figure to ask. Nemura scratches his cheek.

“It's actually more of a piggyback carry...” he said sheepishly. My face immediately went red and drag the blanket closer to my chest. Well,  I'm glad that he didn't carry me like a princess or whatnot, but this is still embarrassing nevertheless. After that revelation, I don’t think I could even look Nemura in the eyes anymore.

“What about other students? Did they saw us?” 

“Huh? Well, some of them did. But.... I’m sorry, how is that important now?”

“It wasn't important. Forget I ask.” I replied before pulling the blanket to cover my embarrassed face. Nemura sits quietly on my side. I don’t know what else to say to this guy. After a while, I heard him left out a chuckle.

“You’re amazing, Ayato-san.” He said suddenly. I blink a few times. What’s with that all of the sudden?

“The nurses says that you might've fainted from exhaustion. I second that. You must be working hard. And at school too... You always excel in your exams. I don’t think I could ever relate.” He added. I continue to frown. I have no idea how to respond to that. Nemura is smiling at me.

“Just don’t worked yourself too hard, okay? If you don't take care of yourself now, you might ended up here again in no time...” He says. I sighs.

“Shut up... You think I like working myself this hard? I only do it because I had too.”

“Is it because of the money?” he asks. I stayed quiet. It’s quite embarrassing to admit that, but I slowly nodded my head. Nemura continues to smile.

“In that case, you can come to my house.”

“Hah? Why should I do that?”

“I know this sound out of the blue, but at least you don’t have to worry about cooking your own meal anymore. I also had grown tired from eating alone. How about eating meals together?”

“Are you serious? You really asking me that? What about your mother?”

“My mom always ate outside with her client. So, you got nothing to be worried about.”

I return to look at wall. Nemura offers actually wasn’t that bad. I was getting tired from cooking my own meals too. With my limited skills and lack of ingredients that I can afford; perhaps I should just suck it up and take on Nemura’s offer. Anyway, he’s still looking at me intently. I know he wanted an answer from me quickly. I sighed again.

“Sure, if it’s not too much of a trouble.” I said after a long silence. He smiles and nodded his head.

“I’m glad to hear that! I can’t wait to start cooking for both of us. Just you wait... Once you have a taste of cooking, you’ll be super impressed.”

“Can’t wait...” I said and rested back my head on the pillow. I slowly getting tired again after talking to Nemura. As I drifted back to sleep, my ear can capture a movement coming from behind me. When I turned my head, I noticed Nemura already walk out from the infirmary.

“Well, I need to use the restroom for a bit... I'll be back, Ayato-san.” He said with a huge smile. I watch him disappeared from the door. As soon as I turned my face again, the nurse is looking at me with a silly grin on her face.

“My...my... Aren't you two boys sweet?” She said. I turned at her. She is grinning from ear to ear.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t help from eavesdropping... That kid is your boyfriend, isn’t he?”

“What? Wait no...”

“Oh please... There’s no need to hide from me. I have a gay brother too, so I know that look. Don’t worry; I’m not going to tell anyone...”

“But... we’re not.... what you think we are. He’s just a classmate.” I said. She’s looking at me with puzzling look.

“Well, that’s strange... I could’ve swear I saw him whispered something in your ears while you are asleep. Oh, and the way he carries you on his back... You should seen it. It’s so tender and warm.” She added while touching her face. I take a gulp down. Seriously... What is wrong with this nurse? Is she secretly.... a *fujoshi? 

“Oh, and so you know - he also kisses on your forehead when you're asleep.” She said nonchalantly.

“He what????” I asked back, a bit loud. She looks slightly shocked. Actually, forget about this nurse - why would Nemura do something like that to an unconscious person? He knows that people around here would see it and talk.

Seriously... That little pervert! 

“Yes, I think he did that while you’re asleep. That's the only reason why I thought the two of you together.” She added. That’s it! I’m never going to faint in front of Nemura or anyone ever again! How dare he take advantage of me like that. That weak, crybaby.... perverted Nemura!!

“Hey, are you alright?” the nurse asks me. I nodded.

“I’m fine. I just need some rest, that’s all. Could you leave me alone, please?” I said. The nurse smiles again before closing the curtain. As soon as she’s gone, I turned my body to face the door. Stupid Nemura... if you really want to steal kisses like that, then you better waited until I’m full awake. We can do a lot more than a kiss, you stupid.

A few minutes passed. I slowly drifted back to sleep.

- End of Chapter 6 -