UGH, That Cheater!

I groaned as consciousness crept back. Everything felt soft, like I was floating on a cloud.

Huh?

I was lying on a cloud. A white puff stretched beneath me. Above, Lung's ravines bled into Ten's rice paddies.

That's right. I fell through their realms.

Pain shot through my body as I tried to sit up. A paper talisman fluttered next to me, its edges singed black.

That girl... she saved me?

"Oh look, the princess finally decides to wake."

I turned toward the deadpan voice. The Taoist girl sat cross-legged on the cloud, her massive brush laid across her lap. Her red eyes held all the warmth of a winter morning.

"Was this what you wanted?" She gestured at the horizon where the koi - Peng? - was carving through Ten's realm like an angry god. Its crimson body demolished rice paddies with each thrash, leaving destruction in its wake.

No no no no-

"I didn't mean to- I never wanted-"

But wasn't this exactly what I deserved? First Inorin, now this. Everyone who tried to help me ended up-

"For fuck's sake, would you stop with the internal monologue already? Get ready."

"Ready for what?"

The girl pointed toward something else in the horizon. A writhing mass of black shapes were heading toward us.

I froze, my wood arm hanging limp at my side. The girl's face twisted with frustration.

"Maybe I shouldn't have wasted my talismans saving your sorry ass. Then we wouldn't have this horde of Yang bearing down on us. Why do I even bother?"

She sighed before continuing. "Now help me out here. This mess is your fault, after all. And if you made it to my realm, you must have some kind of ability."

I stared at my wooden arm. "I don't. Not anymore."

And whose fault is that? You drove Peng away. Turned it into that... thing.

The koi's screech shook the clouds beneath us. Each desperate thrash destroyed more of Ten's realm.

I did this. I took my companion and twisted it into a monster.

The girl clicked her tongue. "Useless."

She pulled out a talisman, her brush dancing across its surface. The paper glowed with an ethereal purple light before she slapped it onto the ground beneath us.

Purple-white fire erupted from the talisman, racing toward the horde like a tsunami. The monster's shrieks filled the air as the flames consumed them yet left the ground untouched.

But more kept coming. A few Yang managed to slip through the gaps in the girl's defense, their jaws snapping as they lunged for my throat.

"Watch out!" she yelled.

Ah. So this is it.

I raised my arms, both flesh and wood, in a pathetic attempt to shield myself. Peng would have been here, would have protected me. But I drove him away.

I deserve this.

That's when massive roots burst from nowhere, skewering the Yang mid-leap. Their bodies dissolved into black mist, revealing a familiar figure riding a ghostly horse.

Ten sat atop Wuwei, her silver hair whipping in the wind. More roots erupted around her, forming a deadly garden that shredded through the horde. Wuwei then trotted over, hooves trailing wisps of smoke as they stopped in front of me.

"My my, looks like someone owes me twice now."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Ten had already turned Wuwei around. "Be right back." She called over her shoulder, bamboo pole sliding out from its sheath.

The Taoist girl barely had time to blink before Ten's pole slammed across her back. She yelped, rubbing the spot as she spun around.

"Ow! Oh, it's you."

"That's how you're going to greet me after all these decades?"

"Never mind that. You know that stupid girl over there?"

"Kuroha? Yes, she saved my realm once."

"And now she's going to un-save it."

My head spun trying to process their conversation. "Wait, Ten, you know her?"

"Indeed. This sweet ball of attitude is Sumi, one of the Heavenly Generals. And my dear little sister."

Sumi's brush tapped against her shoulder impatiently. "Speaking of family, where's Lung?"

"Oh, I put him in prison," I blurted out.

"You expect me to believe-"

Ten's giggles cut Sumi off. "Heh. That stuck-up brother of ours needed some locking up and reflection anyway."

"Lovely reunion and all, but in case you haven't noticed, we've got a fish problem. And-" Sumi pointed the other direction at another black horde "-they brought friends."

"To the village. Now." Ten commanded as she turned Wuwei around again.

"How exactly are we supposed to-"

Before I could finish, Sumi plopped down next to me on the cloud.

"My talismans are multifunctional." She tapped the glowing paper beneath us. The cloud lurched forward, accelerating until we flew side-by-side with Ten and Wuwei.

Sumi smiled mischievously. "Race you there, dear sister?"

"Oh?" Ten smiled as she pointed at the scar on her chest. "If I win, will you give the other forty-eight of me back?"

Other forty-eight… of Ten?

"Well, I couldn't even if I wanted to. That stupid fish destroyed my room where I kept those. And since it'd punch holes through our realms, they could be literally anywhere now."

"Then the loser just has to search for all forty-eight talismans!"

"What kind of deal is that?"

"Too weanie to lose?"

Sumi's cheeks puffed out. "Fine! Though when I win, you have to-"

But Ten was already willing Wuwei forward, leaving us in a trail of ghostly smoke.

"UGH, that cheater!" Sumi slammed her brush against the cloud.

"You better hold on tight, dead weight, 'cus I'm not about to just lose to some half-rate farmer."