Feelings

You don't miss him,You miss his presence
The tingly feeling you get when he is around
That knowing feeling that someone genuinely likes you and in some way you reciprocate the feelings too
You miss the 'awkward silence' which is not so awkward
They way you have to hold your head a bit high to talk to him because he is taller than you
The trance like thing when you just look at each other

These feelings are coming back..the ones i have taught myself to never feel,the ones i have long forgotten
It's been two years since i have actually felt something like this..
Is it love? no,love does not exist..not romantic love atleast
What is this then?
Yes,i am doomed and i have screwed up big..i am not supposed to write this stuff..this cliche sappy whatever-this-is shouldn't be written...it shouldn't even be thought of!..
It's like two different people within me are battling each other for dominance..both of them with totally different thinking..one wants to stay away from relationships and wants to be the bold person while the other just wants to immerse in cliche stuff..i know who is right..but still who is actually right?
my life is messed up on many different levels..i am messed up on many different levels..its just i feel nice about myself..but why should a guy make you feel this..don't you have the strength to feel loved yourself..all these people around you love you..so much..then why do you need a guy to show you that you are good..to make you feel better?..