Between Hot Water and Cold Beer, Part 2

“What the fuck are you doing here?”, asked Violet.

“Taking a bath…”, answered Caleb.

“I can see that… but why now?”

“Because it was free… You coming in or not? You standing there and bitching just kills the relaxing vibe…”

“You have a beer for me?”

“…Yes.”

Violet sat herself next to Caleb. He handed her a beer bottle.

“Don’t start staring at me, okay?”, said Violet after taking a sip.

“Don’t worry… I don’t want to risk increasing the chance of getting punched in the face…”

“What do you mean?”

“Ah, nothing… How are things with Alex?”

“Good… he is training well… he’s getting the hang of getting into Berserker state of his own.”

“That’s not what I meant…”

“I know… I… just don’t know yet… I don’t think I can be the one he seeks, or rather deserves… even if I want to…”

“And why is that?”

“You know damn well why!”

“Say it.”

“Because of what happened in my past…”

“And that was, what?

“The thing with Eduard… I… truly loved him back then… I really thought he was the one for me… and then he… betrayed all that… he betrayed me… in the worst way possible... I just can’t love anyone anymore… I lost the capability.”

“Oh, please stop deceiving yourself! You didn’t lose that capability at all!”

“What do you mean?”

“I never told you, why I vanished after our second… entanglement… did I?”

“No, you did not…”

“It was because I felt that something was different… and I don’t mean the actual thing… that was great, same as the first time… but you changed…”

“What do you mean? How did I change?”

“You looked at me differently than before… In your eyes were more than just curiosity and… lust… there was hope… hope for more… hope that I could be more to you than… a random entanglement on the path we call live…”

“You’re wrong… you were just a random entanglement… I just needed some… stress relief… you know, we women have needs as well… it’s not just you guys that get the urges. Sometimes it tingles for us too down there and we have to do something about it…”

“Okay Miss ‘I have needs’… If you mean that truly and you are as promiscuous as you like to have others believe… then tell me truly… how many did you had since me?”

“What? Why would I tell you?”

“Just tell me…”

“Many…”

“How many? And only real beings out of flesh count… no fantasizing and whatever you can whip up with your magic!”

“What? That’s…”

“How many?”

“One…”

“Kissing Cera does not count.”

“What? That’s…”

“How many?”

“…”

“Say it.”

“Zero…”

“Thought so…”

“How many did you have?”

“Eight hundred and thirty-two…”

“What? That’s… Woah… How are you still… alive?”

“That was a joke…”

“Ah… But even If I had no… entanglement since us… that does not mean… that I was looking for more from you…”

“Don’t try and deny it… I knew that look in your eyes… It’s the same I see every day in the mirror.”

“You are wrong… It could not have been… I was not searching for… love… with you… I was not in love with you… I can’t have been… because…

“Because you can’t feel love anymore for anyone?”

“Yes.”

“Bullshit. You’re just scared.”

“Scared? Of what?”

“Scared of getting hurt again… I mean I get it… with what you’ve been through, who wouldn’t be? It didn’t help that you found… me… Even if you don’t believe me, I am sorry that I just left you that morning… but I had to… I was not the one that could heal your heart… I would have just broken it more… like I always do…”

“I’m not scared…”

“You my little girl are scared shitless! You are so terrified, that Alex could also turn out to betray you… Like Eduard… or like me…even if the notion of that is just absurd…”

“But what if he betrays me… What, why are you laughing?”

“Girl! You can not truly believe that… You know him best from all of us, so you should know it best… That guy is just incapable of betraying someone he cares about… even more so someone he cares deeply for…”

“But what if… he… could change and… just like Eduard…”

“If you compare Alex to that bastard, then also put the fact into the equation, that he punshed the living shit out of him… with his bare hands… and the fucking guy had full plate armor… you don’t do that to betray someone…”

“Mhm… but… I’m scared…”

“Which is understandable… but what are you more afraid of? Him betraying you, or someone else taking him?”

“Who do you mean? Yona?”

“Yona is very young and still inexperienced… She has this look in her eyes… full of curiosity, wonder and ready to take a risk and make a mistake… just like someone else when I first met her…

“But Alex would n-“

“Granted he does have willpower that most of us lack, but don’t think he is not constantly struggling. He is in a very unique… situation… one that people like us will probably never understand… It’s a bit like if you tell someone dying of thirst, that water doesn’t really tastes that great… But he doesn’t even know he is dying of thirst, because he never had a god damn drink… Someone like us, who tasted the water and decided for ourselves that it didn’t taste that great, couldn’t even begin to understand what that thirst can do to you. He may be fine… or he is one flash of the eyes, one slight touch, one well placed smile away from breaking down and giving in. I would not even think bad of him if he did… Don’t forget Alex is a man after all, and we have needs too, you know? If we get the tingle in the wiener, there might be some misdemeanor… Every man has his breaking point. Remember that…”

“I am well aware that he is a... man.”

“Good… Damn, all this talk made me thirsty… Cheers!”

"Cheers..."