An Unexpected Visitor

Four Days Later

“Ma-Chan!” Esmo sang as she knocked on the door. “I got a surprise for you!” Tired, but not wanting to be rude, Mahannana sat up in bed. The tavern owner swung open the door. “How are you doing, Ma-Chan?” A slight smile twitched onto the girl’s face. “Hi, Mr Aqua.” She hadn’t seen the gardener since the day after she’d been injured. Everyone had wanted to see her right away but, aside from Elfrida’s medical treatment and Esmo feeding and cleaning her, her mother had made everyone wait a full day and policed her visitors diligently. Despite the child being worried sick, Selena hadn’t allowed Bisky to visit until the day before and, even then, the catgirl had only been able to stay for two hours. ‘You don’t need the extra stress and stimulation while you’re healing!’

“I’ve got something special for you!” Aqua entered the room and sat down on the bed, while Esmo pulled up a chair. Mahannana looked at the tray he placed in front of her. “It’s chicken and rice soup. The veggies are fresh from the garden, of course!” While she’d normally be drooling over the dish, Mahannana wasn’t hungry. The idea of food made her feel nauseous. She knew she needed to eat and that it would make her body feel better,  but the idea of exerting that effort seemed overpoweringly scary.

The adults exchanged a look as Mahannana stared blankly at the soup. Ever since she’d come back from the deadly raid, she’d barely ate or talked. She’d told the full story of what had occurred to her mother after being treated but, afterwards, it was as if she’d completely shut down. She’d had quite a few injuries, but nothing so severe that medicine and bedrest wouldn’t fix it, so trauma was obviously the reason. Selena had explained that Mahannana couldn’t process stressful emotions or thoughts the way other people could and that she would have depressive episodes if the internal pressure was too distressing or she felt unable to cope with her feelings. Given that she’d experienced something so horrific as people dying in front of her and having a near-death experience, no one blamed her. But despite knowing the why, the palpable pain too heavy to put for words in the girl’s face still crushed everyone’s heart. Seeing the normally energetic, positive, and lively Mahannana reduced to a silent shell of herself was like a punch to the face.

“Say ahhh!” Mahannana looked up to see Aqua smiling and holding a spoonful of soup in front of her mouth. Too tired to fight him, she robotically opened her mouth and let him feed her. ‘I can’t taste anything.’ She thought dully. ‘It might as well be water.’ Aqua continued to help her eat. “It’s okay, right? Not too hot or anything?” “It’s fine. Thank you for the meal. It’s tasty.” Mahannana’s smile didn’t reach her eyes, and Aqua knew she was just miming a polite response.

“How you feeling, Ma-Chan?” He asked, giving her break from eating. “Miserable. Every single part of my being still aches.” That was an understatement; if your soul could ache, then Mahannana was sure that the core of her being had been injured along with her body. “Well, you did take a beating and go through a lot.” Aqua tried to ignore the heavy implications of her answer. “Don’t push yourself. Take all the time you need to get better. You don’t have to come back to the house until you feel ready.” Mahannana nodded and opened her mouth for more soup.

To ensure that she had a peaceful environment to recover in, Mahannana was staying in one of the guest rooms at Esmo’s inn. Her mother was constantly visiting her and, if not for Esmo forcing Selena to rest and eat, she’d likely stay by her side 24/7. ‘Probably for the best that there’s someone who can also take care of mama.’ Mahannana reflected. ‘And I know Aqua and Lir-Chan are looking after her, too. I don’t have to worry about her.’ “Bisky’s quite the handful without you around!” Esmo reported. “I have no idea how you manage her! Well, she is worried about you, after all, and Selena restricting her visits isn’t helping.”

Mahannana recalled the day before. The second the door had cracked open, Bisky-Chan had flown at her and tackled her in a hug. No matter how much her mama had yelled, the little girl had remained attached to her like Velcro and continued to cry and blubber incomprehensively for nearly an hour. It was probably the best visitor she’d had so far; all they’d really done was cuddle for a few hours. Mahannana had savored the feeling of the girl’s body in her arms and the softness of her ears. Even though physical touch could be soothing to her, she’d never thought that it would seem so precious. But after what she’d experienced...she hadn’t realized just how much she loved her found family until it was about to be ripped away from her. After timidly hiding in the hall for fifteen minutes, Pip had had managed to shyly peek into her room and, when Mahannana had gestured for him to come, the Tanuki child had joined the girls in cuddling. He hadn’t said anything, but Mahannana could tell that he had been worried in his own way. For her, but also for Bisky, because he knew how deeply distressed and terrified she was at the thought of losing her friend.

Mahannana looked at Esmo, wishing she could smile normally to reassure the woman. “That sounds right. She turned into a little kitten yesterday and practically had to be dragged away. Poor kid is a bigger mess than when she had that run in with the king slime.” “Well, you are kind of a mess.” Aqua shrugged. “It’s natural to be worried.” “Aqua!” Esmo snapped, causing Aqua to yelp. A small, genuine smirk crossed Mahannana’s face. “It’s okay. I understand what you mean, Aqua.”

The two adults felt the stirring of hope as they continued to feed Mahannana both soup and stories of what had been happening around town. This was the first genuine spark of her personality that they’d seen since that awful day when a panicked Selena had returned with her mangled body. It might take a while, but the lovely girl they adored was still in there somewhere. 

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Selena was busy pacing the tavern floor when Aqua and Esmo descended the stairs. “Well?” She asked anxiously, jumping to attention. “She ate at least.” Aqua said as set the tray down on the bar. Selena sighed. “That’s good. It’s something.” “Did she say anything?” Lirhilde asked nervously, clutching a teacup for dear life. The swan woman and her husband were stationed at the bar, just as anxious for news of Madoka as Selena was.

“Not really. Still said as little as possible.” Esmo sighed, joining Lirhilde at the counter. “It seemed like she was trying to act okay for us, but it clearly was an act. There was no emotion in it.” “She did smile...a little. Once.” Aqua interjected. “But Esmo’s right. I felt like the only reason she bothered eating was because I was physically helping her. I didn’t give her much of a choice and she didn’t want to be rude to me.”

“Thank you, you two. Thank you everyone! I don’t know what I’d do...” Selena sighed as she laid down on the floor. “Just thank you.” The five sat in silence for a few minutes. “I need a freakin’ drink.” Esmo announced suddenly, pulling a bottle of ale from underneath the counter. Not even bothering with a glass, she popped the cork and began chugging straight from the bottle. No one said anything because they didn't blame her. If she wasn’t responsible for madoka, Selena would have joined her without hesitation.

‘I’m so exhausted...’ The wolf closed her eyes and laid her head on the cool floor. She hadn’t slept in days, and her body felt as heavy as if she’d been carrying an anvil on her back. She had a throbbing migraine that, despite the medicine Elfrida had given her, had continued lingering to the point that she gave up on it going away. Despite her tendency to imagine the worst-case scenario, the idea of her daughter being murdered was never something that Selena had been seriously concerned by! Even after coming to Nyxphiria, even after Bisky was nearly smothered by something as weak as a slime, Madoka meeting a violent end at the hands of another wasn’t something that had even crossed her mind! All manner of monster attacks or magic backfires ran through her mind, but the idea that her daughter would nearly get her throat slit by an elf was the last thing she thought could happen! Yet here they were. ‘Was I too laid back?’ She wondered for the hundredth time. ‘Did I swing way too far in the opposite direction and become too permissive?’ She already knew the answer, of course. She’d given her daughter reasonable freedom and Madoka had simply bitten off more than she could chew. She could sit and agonize over the ‘what-ifs’ until the end of time, but the fact remained that what had happened to Madoka couldn’t be blamed on anyone except the elves that had decided to attack.

“My turn.” Lirhilde snatched the bottle from Esmo’s hands and being drinking. “Oh, wow. Never would have pegged you as a drinker.” The tavern owner said with a hint of shock. Lirhide wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Well, extreme times call for extreme measures. My friend’s child nearly died and has emotionally shut herself off, and it’s taking a toll on her. What else can I do but drink right now?” She asked in frustration. “Not arguing with that.” Aqua sighed, taking the bottle from Lirhilde and taking a sip. “Seeing Ma-Chan like that...” He didn’t need to finish his setence. They all understood completely without needing to put it into words. “And Elfrida-Chan.” Lirhilde sighed. “She’s still a complete mess. She keeps blaming herself and saying that it’s all her fault and, if she hadn’t gotten sick, this would never have happened.” Selena recalled how disheveled and frazzled the librarian was each time she’d come to check on Madoka. “I wish she would stop. I don’t blame her at all.”

“Is there really nothing we can do for Ma-Chan?” Omthor asked suddenly. He’d been standing there quietly the entire time. “No.” Selena mumbled. “She’s...I can’t explain it but she’s suffering. It’s like she’s able to feel emotions so intensely that they spiral out of control. Her feelings and thoughts go out of control and, since she can’t put them into words, she’s trapped inside herself wanting desperately to get out but not knowing how because the feelings seem like they’ll never go away. It kills me, seeing her like that, and I wish I could see her thoughts so I could take her pain away, but I can’t. All we can really do is let it play out and take it one day at a time because each episode isn’t exactly the same.”

“I think she really blames herself.” Omthor added quietly. “No matter how unrealistic it is, she still blames herself for not being able to save anyone. When I was with her the other day, she kept saying things like “I’m so weak and useless. Even with magic, I couldn’t do anything.” “Well, she’s never seen a human die before.” Selena commented. “It’s a traumatic thing. And besides...I think  the one raider who she’d hit it off with is the one that’s really haunting her. Of course, all I told her was that everyone was dead and they had the funeral during the day she was unconscious, but the poor man was sliced to pieces.” She felt a pinch in her chest as she recalled her daughter’s face falling at the news. “He’s the reason that she’s alive. He sacrificed himself so that she could escape. She told me that he had a younger sister who was waiting for him to come back.”

Esmo took the mead back and the adults sat in silence, wondering if there was something they could do to speed up Mahannana’s mental recovery. Unexpectedly, the door opened, causing everyone to jump. “Did you miss the sign? We’re closed!” Esmo snapped. “I’m not here to drink.” Everyone turned to face the soft voice.

A ginger haired young woman with glasses smiled at the group softly. “Is Miss Mahannana here?”

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Mahannana laid on her back and watched the shadows dance across the ceiling. All she wanted was to fall asleep and escape her thoughts and exhaustion, but she couldn't. ‘Well, all I’ve done since I was injured is sleep.’ She thought bitterly. ‘I guess my sleep meter is too full for my body to be tired anymore.’ She wanted to close her eyes because the light was too bright, but that just made her head hurt even more. Her forehead and eyes felt tight. Her body was sore from laying in the same position, but she wasn’t ready to deal with the pain and effort that came with rolling over onto her side.

The Valkirk raiders entered her mind again. ‘I wonder how their families are doing...I wish I’d been able to go to the funerals...’ She mentally kicked herself for being unable to even pay her last respects to the men, particularly Kern. She recalled the man’s playful demeanor and smile. ‘He really did seem like the type of person who was a good big brother...I’m sorry for his sister. I bet she blames me. If it wasn’t for me...’ She closed her eyes. ‘Could Kern have escaped if he wasn’t protecting me?’ She thought for the hundredth time.

Someone nocked on the door. “I’m coming in.” An unfamiliar voice called. A red-haired woman dressed in a formal blue gown and wire-rim glasses entered the room. “Hello, Miss Mahannana. It’s my pleasure to finally met you.” Mahnnana stared at the woman. They’d never met before, but something was oddly familiar about her. A light went off in her head. “Alice?”

The woman smiled.” That’s me! How about we have a little talk?”