Chapter Twenty-Three

I don’t know how long it took before I let go of her. I sat beside her and looked at her. There dark bags under her eyes, and her skin was pale. I turned away, knowing that I did that to her.

“Sorry,” I said, pointing at her face. “No sleep.”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Nina smiled. “It a complete nonissue. I’ve lost count how many times I woke up sleep deprived.” She watched me as her smile disappeared. “But you. You’ve had a much worse night than I have.” I looked down, trying to avoid saying anything again. “Nina put her hand on my back. “You don’t have to say anything right now. But, like I said earlier, know that I’ll be right here. And I’ll wait for you until you feel ready to talk to me.” I looked to Nina.

“Take some time,” I said. “Too much.” Nina nodded and walked back into her room, stepping back out after she finished changing.

“If you want to stay here instead of finding the merchant, that’s fine with me,” she said. “They walk the path every single day, so we’re bound to catch them. We can find something else to do.” My body was screaming to stay in here. It made itself heavy whenever I tried moving, hoping I would go back to lying down. But something else told me I should stand and follow Nina outside. Doing nothing would be easy, and I knew I would feel better doing so. But I also knew that it wasn’t the right thing to do. I used every bit of my strength to stand up and walk towards Nina. My body was slumped over, and my hands were dangling in front of me, but I wasn’t going to let it win this time. I looked up to Nina with a face she was familiar with.

“Find merchant,” I said with confidence. “Then come back.” Nina stared back wondering what to do.

“You don’t have to force–”

“Not forcing, choosing.” Those words erased the worry in her eyes and replaced them with the confidence in my words. I clenched my fists as I tried to stand up straight. “Choosing, like you said.” It was those words that made Nina sigh with relief. She put her hand on my shoulder and raised my head with the other.

“If this is what you want to do, then I will lead you to it,” she said with a smile. “Let me find you a proper disguise so you don’t scare them away.” I found the smile I was looking for and presented it to Nina. It wasn’t a big one, but at that moment, it was enough for me.