Chapter Forty-Eight

We stepped out of Nina’s room, our hands still held on to each other. We made our way back to the couch, sitting together, much closer than before. Though we sat in silence, I knew that neither of us minded. It was something that helped us, that kept us calm. It complemented our newfound feelings for each other, amplifying our emotions while making sure they were always in check. I looked ahead, wanting to say the things leftover.

“Honesty. Scared,” I said. “Love. Difficult. Vulnerable. Rejection, possible. Wrong person, lots of hurt. Feeling, not shared.” Nina’s smile told me not to worry.

“If we’re telling each other these things, then I should be honest with you.” She took a deep breath. “Ever since that first night that we’ve me, I’ve had dreams about you.” My heart skipped a beat as I shook my head, not knowing it could still do that. “When you explained to me that dreams can be good, I started to look forward to them. I stood next to my door, unable to stop smiling after hearing you say, ‘sweet dreams’ because I knew that’s what I was going to see when I closed my eyes.”

“Dreams,” I said. “Things, we did?” Nina laughed as she looked away.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Teasing.”

“That’s what you do when you love someone, right?”

“Nina, dangerous. Skills with people. Apply to love. Use on me. Scary!” Nina laughed again, much harder than before, catching herself before she fell off.

“They were all different. Sometimes, we would just look at each other and enjoy being together. Other times, we’d hold each other close. Even though we were always outside, walking under the purple clouds, alongside the empty world, I felt good. But when I woke up, I would always think about how we’d look together in your world. I’d remember how good the sun felt, and how bright it looked over the flowers. I’ve seen pictures of this world before the apocalypse, but it’s one thing to just see them. It’s another to experience them.

“Good dreams, sweet dreams,” I said. “Wish I met you. Back then.” I started to shift my gaze down, wanting to take the words I just spoke back. Nina put her hand on my chin and lifted it back up.

“You still so bad at hiding it,” she said. “Don’t think for a second that things would be different in your world. Do you really thing that someone like me, who managed to find someone like you, in this world of all places, wouldn’t be able to find you anywhere else? I thought you knew me.” I couldn’t help but smile. The thoughts that were creeping over me evaporated, replaced by the warm embrace that only Nina could give. “In fact, I wish I could’ve met you in your world too! I would’ve stood by you, when no one else would. I would’ve fought for you, when you felt that everyone was against you. I would’ve held you, when your felt that your sadness was too heavy. I would’ve laughed with you, when things were going great, so you could share your happiness with me.” Nina’s face turned red, unable to wait for the words to come out. “And I would’ve stayed by you, and learn what love is with you, just like we did here.”

I couldn’t turn away from her. My mind flashed images of places I’d seen, places I didn’t think were special on their own, and watched as Nina and I stood in them, holding hands and watching the world go past us.

“It would’ve been nice. But we ended up finding each other here in this world instead, and that’s not the worst thing to happened. In fact, I think it will be just as nice.”

“Nina, always knows. Says right things.” She smiled, trying not to laugh. “Miss the sun. Miss the sky. Miss my future. Few things. I’ll never see. But here, have everything. Easy trades. To be with you.” She caressed my cheek before lowering her hand, knowing I said the thing that I wanted to say, not just what she wanted to hear.

“Who says you won’t see those things here? We saw the sun. It’s still out there. It might take us a while, but we’ll find a lot of things that we didn’t think were out there. And knowing that we’ll do it together, makes it all the more possible.”

I caressed her hair, before going in for another kiss. Nina saw what I was doing and went in first, meeting my lips in between smiles. I knew I was going to be happy. Even if this world tries to hurt us, even if we can’t find everything. Even if the ghosts of my world want to take me back, I knew I was going to be happy. Because right next to me, was the person who would take my hand, share a smile, and walk with me until we knew that nothing would ever hurt us again.