Echoes of the Past [ Log 1 ]

Elsa

The cheap aircon barely kept the room warm, and as always, Li had pulled almost all the blankets and wrapped them around herself like a cocoon, leaving me exposed to the chill of the night. I didn’t mind it and sat up and tucked the rest of them around her before my gaze fell on Sol. She was sitting by the window, her silhouette illuminated by the industrial floodlight that always shone over the busy docks.

Sol… Was she the lucky card that could give Li the bright future she deserved, or was she another cosmic joke that would threaten to shatter any sense of stability she had? We had found her by pure luck, drifting through outer space. A cold, dark ship built for a war won long before I was born, she carried the memories of those who had faded into history. She was a precious piece of junk, but the salvage rights and the money those brought would still barely be enough to repair Minerva and pay our growing debts.

“Everything okay, Captain?”, she asked quietly as she saw I was awake.

I shivered hearing her voice. I wasn’t used to sharing our room with anyone else, not since Karla brought havoc into our lives and disappeared without a word. She’d left Li’s dreams broken, and me trying to salvage any sense of stability she had.

“I am fine… Sol…”

I hesitated for a moment before I said her name. Automatons were rare, and most ships’ computers were nothing more than advanced calculators, only suitable for playing chess when boredom took hold of you as you travelled through outer space. Yet she was different. A conscious being, even if I could not comprehend how it could be, with the right to decide her own destiny. At least, in the eyes of the law, that’s what she was, which I had soon learned during the lengthy legal battle that began long before we brought her home and docked her in high orbit above Elmir.

I got up and put on my jacket. If it had been only me and Li, I would have stayed in bed, even if I knew I would not fall asleep again. But Sol’s presence had an unsettling effect on me, as if something in me sensed unknown danger and alerted all my senses, making me restless and feeling suffocated in our tiny room. I walked over to the window and sat down on the other side of the small table that separated us, pulling my knees up and wrapping my arms around them. The cheap plastic floor panels were freezing, and my bare feet were already numb from the cold.

“Can I help you, Captain? “, she asked.

She watched me with those cold, blue eyes that reflected the light pouring in from outside. It gave them an eerie, nonhuman look, even if, at first glance, nothing in her betrayed that she was a ship, not a human.

“Status…?”, I ventured hesitantly, not wanting to offend her and not knowing what type of conversation was appropriate.

“All repairs proceed according to the plan, except for the abaft thruster on the starboard side. Estimated delay time 17 standard hours”

I nodded at her words, not knowing what else I should say. I wished it had been a miracle that had made us win the legal battle and own a ship that would make us enough money. But it was Karla, not a miracle, that made it happen. I hated that fact more than anything else, and I sometimes wished that we had ignored that faint ping of the scanners as we came out of hyperspace on our way to Elmir, signalling we had found a ship. Li deserved better than anything I could provide alone, and Sol was my only chance to give it to her.

“Don’t worry, Captain. If time is of the essence, I can compensate for the lack of aft thruster. Our mission will not require...”

Her voice broke the silence that hung between us. I watched her only to see her faint smile fade from her face as if, for some unknown reason, she hesitated to finish the sentence, leaving it drifting in the void that filled the room once again.

“It will not be necessary”, I said quietly, not to disturb Li’s sleep with our conversation.

I got up, shivering as my bare feet touched the cold floor, and pulled a pack of cigarettes from the baggy pocket of my jacket. I hoped they hadn’t shared space with anything that had recently come into contact with engine oil. My pockets were generally full of bits and pieces that helped to keep our old ship alive, a habit forced on me by living on a ship that should have been decommissioned long before I was born. I was lucky, and the package felt dry as I fiddled with it in my hand for a few moments before walking to the door. I paused with my hand on the handle and glanced back, feeling Sol’s gaze on my back.

“I need to smoke…”

I shrugged, not knowing what else to say, and opened the door, hesitating for a moment before stepping out into the brightly lit corridor. There were countless doors lining it, each leading to a shabby room no different from ours. It must be late, I thought, since I could barely hear the downstairs bar, but I didn't have time to ponder it for long. The moment my eyes grew used to the bright neon light, I saw her. Karla, leaning against the wall with a paper cup of cold coffee in her hand. I froze as she looked up, trying to ignore her tear-stained eyes I knew were hidden behind those dark sunglasses and the fact that I knew why she wore them in the first place.

“El….”, she whispered.

Her voice echoed in the empty corridor, reverberating my pet name over and over again as a cruel reminder of something that was lost a long time ago. Those who knew it were gone, and she had forsaken the right to use it the moment she left us.

“Get lost”, I hissed, clenching my fists.

“I can help you”, she whispered, lowering her gaze to stare at the floor.

“I don’t need your help.”

I frowned at her. Something in me hesitated for a moment, yearning for the warmth that had once been there, but I ignored it and lashed out,

“We were fine before you came, and we were fine when you left”

I stepped closer. The scent of the expensive perfumes she always wore lingered in the space between us.

“ I… I...”

She glanced at me, letting her words hang in the void that grew in my chest. She hesitated as she saw me silently shake my head, but then gathered her courage and said,

“I can get you a good price for Minerva, and cargo that will pay for all your debts.”

I blinked. It was the last I had expected to hear.

“No”, I whispered. “Get lost, Kay…”

“I’ve never fucked up business, El…”

She let her words fill the space between us, blending with the scent of her perfume.

“No, you didn’t…”

I nodded quietly and lit a cigarette, leaning back against the wall to blow the smoke into the air and create some distance between us.

“Just keep away from Li. She deserves better than this”

I watched through the smoke as her face flushed with emotion before she adjusted her sunglasses and nodded.

“Deal…”