Lada Hada in da house

In the commentator's booth, Daria scowled and tapped her fingers on the table.

"Maestro, you don't need to wrinkle your pretty face," Saloni teased.

"I have reason to be perturbed. We just saw an affront to chess yield victory, not to mention, or guest has not even shown up."

"It was Muazzez today. Weird, I know she likes to be dramatic, but she'd not one to be 10 minutes late, unless she had another blackout."

"'Blackout'?"

"Yeah, she's had a condition since she was born that causes her to have blackouts, epilepsy I think it's called."

"I never heard of that."

"Thought maestros knew everything about the SPCMs and DSPCMs."

"No, we don't."

Daria had one more reason to be on edge, naturally being Mimoko Tanabe. Just like before, the game log appeared in the morning, which showed that in just 12 moves, Mimoko was projected to win, yet if her opponent didn't show up in the next 5 minutes, she'd win by default.

Outside the playing hall, a young beautiful girl with long rainbow-colored dreadlocks panted as she ran for the doors. Luckily for her, she was clad in a black adidas tracksuit and white sneakers along with a snazzy black hat with a barely-visible star of David on it. Her unzipped jacked revealed a black tank top and her large bouncing breasts as she ran as fast as she could towards Mimoko.

"Heh... Heh... Made it!" she grinned as she stared at the board.

Since Mimoko had first move, she had taken the liberty of moving her pawn to d4, awaiting to see if her opponent would arrive.

"Lada, you're 13 minutes late. Shake her hand and move in the next two minutes or it's a DQ," Leonce snarled.

"Hey, 13's my lucky number. Oh, and hey to you. Name's Lada Hada, Birobidzhan's best girl," the girl smiled as she shook Mimoko's hand and moved her pawn to g6.

Mimoko remained silent, but with an annoyed nod from Leonce, she was allowed to speak. "'Birobidzhan'? What's that?" she asked as she moved her pawn to e4.

"Ah, my hometown, capitol of the Jewish Autonomous Oblast of Russia," Lada replied as she moved her bishop to g7.

"'Russia'?"

"Yeah, my father's a Russian Jew, while my mom's Japanese. That's how I got in to this event. As such, I'm fluent in Russian, Yiddish, Japanese, and Chinese, mainly since the oblast is on the border with China. I say oblast, but nowadays, we're more like a country within a country."

"One more minute of talking, then silence," Leonce glared.

"Girl needs to hear my intro."

"Then get here on time so you have more time to talk."

"We could always talk after the match," Mimoko nervously smiled as she moved her knight to c3.

"Nah, some things need to be said when ya first meet someone. So as I was saying, the JAO's kinda like Catalonia in Spain, still part of the main country, but treated separately for sporting events and such. Wasn't always like that, but since the tsar wanted to maximize DSPCM slots, he granted the JAO Catalonia status, and as such, yours truly is Birobidzhan's DSPCM," Lada grinned as she moved her pawn to d6.

"A DSPCM? But Russia has a maestro," Mimoko frowned in confusion as she moved her bishop to e3.

"That's what I was telling you. The US has the same kind of deal with Guam, the Virgin Islands, Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, American Samoa, all got DSPCMs despite the main country havin' SPCMs," Lada smiled as she moved her knight to f6.

"So If I beat you, I'll get all the accolades that normally come with beating a DSPCM, then?" Mimoko nodded as she moved her queen to d2.

Lada attempted to affirm vocally, but quickly had Leonce's hand slapped over her mouth, indicating talking time was over.

"Mmph ngh mmph ngh ngh ngh mmph mmph ngh mmph [How long you gonna keep your hand on my mouth]?" Lada pouted as she moved her pawn to c6.

Leonce shook her head and removed her hand, walking some distance before turning back around to stare at the board. "The maestro revealed that this game was supposed to end in 12 moves, but it nearly ended in forfeit. Lada's also just under 2200, so it's not like she'd prone to blunder either. Could this finally be the end of Mimoko Tanabe's shadow?" she thought as Mimoko moved her bishop to h6.

Lada then castled king's side, with Mimoko taking a bit longer to think before settling on moving her pawn to h4. Then to her surprise and the arbiter's horror, Lada moved her bishop to g4.

"Mimoko's winning now, and so's Mimoko Tanabe. Dammit, I hope Lada doesn't capture with the knight, but I just know it'll come," Daria thought as she bit her lip and watched as Mimoko moved her pawn to f3.

Lada retreated her bishop to e6, allowing Mimoko to advance her pawn to h5. And then, there it was, knight captures h5. The "prediction" was going to come true.

"Huh, chat's saying it'll be mate in two after rook takes h5. Keen eye, but only if Lada captures, which I don't think she will," Saloni smiled as Mimoko captured the knight at h5 with her rook.

But capture said rook with her g-pawn was exactly what Lada did, shocking Saloni. "Whoa, Chat's a prophet! How'd you figure it out?" she asked as Mimoko moved her queen to g5.

Daria's eyes bulged as they zeroed in on the chat. "That handle, it's the same one from before!"

"'Before'? What do you mean?" Saloni asked as the mysterious user posted a long comment. "Whoa, that's a long one. We'll read it later. First, lets see the end of this game in motion," she smiled.

Back at the board, Lada pouted and moved her pawn to f5. "I got baited by a rook. Ah well, I've been itching for an excuse to have all my hair shaved bald, failure like this should justify it," she thought.

"Checkmate. You were playing well until the 7th move, what happened?" Mimoko asked as she captured the bishop at g7, winning the game.

"Ah, just got too swept up in it and didn't think. I'll shave my head n' brows in repentance or something," Lada mumbled.

"Another one? Must every eccentric girl I encounter here pledge to have their heads shaved upon their defeats?" Mimoko groaned.

The full game:

White: Mimoko Inoue (2858) Black: DSPCM Lada Hada (2174)

1. d4 g6

2. e4 Bg7

3. Nc3 d6

4. Be3 Nf6

5. Qd2 c6

6. Bh6 O-O

7. h4 Bg4

8. f3 Be6

9. h5 Nxh5

10. Rxh5 gxh5

11. Qg5 f5

12. Qxg7#