The Dark Lord's first day out!

Today is Saturday, it was supposed to mark Eve’s first day outside in the new world. However…

“Can you repeat that again?”

“I said I’m not going out.”

Well consider me flabbergasted, she seemed so psyched before. Why does she suddenly not want to-Oh, it has to do with “that” doesn’t it.

“Eve, my aunt’s bed isn’t that comfortable, is it?”

“It is, compared to those cramped bindings or that box I was in, this is heaven in comparison. Please don’t ruin this for me.”

She looked at me with puppy dog eyes, I swear she’s gotten common day mannerisms down to a T. How am I supposed to get her out of bed? Wait, I could try that!

“Well shucks! I was just about to enjoy the most important meal of the day!”

“...Most important meal of the day?”

Eve raised her face to look at me, hook line and sinker!

****

“THESE GRIDDLE CAKES ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD! I WANT MORE!”

“They’re called pancakes nowadays, and are they really that good?”

“YES! THEY ARE SO SOFT AND FLUFFY!”

Currently Eve is eating some pancakes I made for her, I simply made myself some toast with jam. I gave her an old T-shirt and some jeans to wear, she also has my old shoes and jacket. I wish I could keep giving her my old stuff, but this is the safest option. If I keep lending her my clothes, eventually I’ll have nothing to wear.

After Eve finished her breakfast, and begged me for more for five minutes straight, we made our way outside. I hoped that everything would be fine the moment we stepped foot outside but-

“The grass is so green, the air is so fresh, and the birds chirping are so beautiful! I’VE ESCAPED HELL! I’M FINALLY FREE!”

Eve started going crazy the moment we got outside, are you trying to make me look bad. I looked across the street to spot the neighbors watching us, crap! I immediately grab Eve and tell them that everything was fine. After they smiled and nodded at us, I took Eve around the corner and gave her an ear full.

“Eve listen you got to keep it together, if you keep acting like that in public you’re gonna cause a scene. I don’t want to bring you back into the house-”

“NO! YOU’RE GONNA TORTURE ME AGAIN! SOMEONE HEL-”

I covered her mouth and started looking around frantically, when I looked back at her she was giggling as my hand covered her mouth. I swear this girl, she’s gonna take years off my life if this continues. I decided to talk to her again, gently this time.

“Please Eve, you don’t want people to get involved with our lives right. Especially if some hero or something finds out a Dark Lord is here-”

“Easy, I'd kill them!”

Eve made a small dark lighting bolt between her right thumb and index finger. Is that your impression of a taser? You’re enjoying this way too much, you know that right?

“Eve please, if you behave yourself I’ll give you a treat later.”

“...Fine, but it better be something sweet.”

“Don’t worry, I have a place in mind. However, before anything else, we need a cover story for you.”

I then formulated a cover story for Eve, now the question is will we be able to pull this off.

****

It was going so well, things were going so well! Why did she have to start up again!

“What’s that thing over their, why are the birds eating seeds out of it? Why’s the man in those strange garbs putting a box in that metal box? Why’s that woman pushing her baby in a mine cart?”

People watched Eve as she ran around like a kid scanning for strange creatures. Hopefully my excuse works, I start walking around and excusing her stupidity.

“Sorry, my cousin just got cleared from a long stay in the hospital from overseas. She’s never really been out before, please excuse her behavior.”

People surprisingly bought into it, an old couple even patted Eve’s head and gave her a hard candy. Eve looked at me for a moment and asked what that was about.

“They think you’re a patient who’s never enjoyed the light of day.”

“Oh, so this is a pity candy.”

“Yes.”

Eve tried to run after the old couple while shouting curses, I grabbed her and shoved the candy into her mouth. Upon tasting its sweet flavors, Eve finally calmed down. After a few more mishaps, we finally made it to our destination, the white courts mall. This shopping mall was the best place to take care of our errands, and give me a place for a nice walk to. That said, I also decided to give Eve that first treat I mentioned.

“It looks amazing, I almost don’t want to eat it. Wait, how do I eat this?”

“You lick it, but not too hard otherwise it’ll break apart easily.”

Eve was staring intently at the vanilla ice cream cone I bought her, meanwhile I was enjoying a frost rocket popsicle. After a while, Eve went for a lick. For a moment it looked like she ascended into heaven, wow all that over an ice cream cone? The girl immediately started tearing into the cone, even the ice cream girl who made it for her looked scared. When Eve finished, the ice cream was gone and her face was dripping vanilla. I took a napkin and cleaned her face. I really am her parent now aren’t I?

After her treat I dragged Eve to our first stop. That’s when she got sidetracked, then again it’s partly my fault. I forgot this shop was close by, the shop in question being the store “Just for me”. As for the reason behind our current troubles-

“NO WAY! THE COMPLETE SEASON ALL ON DVD! THEY EVEN HAVE FIGURES!”

“Eve, you’re embarrassing me.”

Eve hugged the store window looking at all the merchandise, they had video sets for the animes she watched. There were even figures of the characters too, I guess I finally understand their tagline now. Just for me, a store where you can buy entertainment items just for you! If only this shop wasn’t fighting to become my worst nightmare. I grabbed Eve by the hood of the jacket I gave her and brought her to our original destination. That being the clothing store, Cold Subjects.Realizing that she was being pulled away from her precious idols caused her to enter a frenzy, but her expression changed seeing the items the store had for sale.

“Hey, that shirt over there, it has my demon dog prince on it!”

“I had a feeling you’d want one of the Anime Tees.”

Cold Subjects deals in clothing for anime nerds as well as goth-like styles. Knowing Eve’s taste I felt that this was the best store to suit her needs. That said time to lay down some ground rules.

“Alright Eve, you can choose three shirts, three bottoms, and three sets of pajamas.”

“That’s not really a big number to choose from.”

“Well I’m trying to budget, life comes with unknown expenses.”

The bills are handled by the government due to the job my aunt and uncle have. However, I’m only given one thousand to survive off of a month. It sounds like a lot, but the number starts dropping when you add expenses such as: school supplies, groceries, travel fare, hospital fees, and etc. Then there’s also maintaining the house, for example if I need to call the electrician to fix the electricity. Keep in mind, Eve is basically as curious as a cave man. I hope for the house’s safety, but saving some money for repairs won’t hurt. While thinking that, Eve started to look at me strangely.

“You were thinking something rude weren’t you?”

“You’re imagining it, anyway what’s your size? The sooner we get this done the bet-”

I immediately got punched in the face by Eve, and fell flat on my rear. I began holding my cheek and looking at her trying to figure out why she socked me, that’s when I noticed she was beet red. Oh right, girls hate being asked about those topics. Then again, I can’t help her if I don’t know.

“Listen, I understand why I got punched but I can’t help you if you don’t-”

“Pervert…”

“I’M NOT A PERVERT YOU LITTLE URCHIN!”

I could see the sparks flying between me and Eve, however our little spat got interrupted.

“Um, excuse me, is there anything we can do to help you two?”

Eh! I turned to see a shop employee watching us, she looked worried at the spectacle that was about to take place. I apologized for the scene and decided to put my cover story in action.

“Oh I see, so you’re trying to buy some clothes for your cousin. *Sniff* That’s so sweet, please if there’s anything I can do to help just let me know!”

“Hmm, actually is there anyone you can help my cousin choose a few items? Since I’m a guy this is out of my element.”

“I’LL GLADY HELP, PLEASE YOUNG LADY RIGHT THIS WAY!”

The clerk immediately got behind Eve and grabbed her shoulders, the result was Eve letting out a surprised yelp. The clerk then lifted Eve and carried her away, the result was Eve shouting back at me.

“HEY! DON’T JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! YOU LITTLE BASTARD, I WON’T FORGET THIS!”

Good luck soldier, I salute you

****

Five minutes later, I was wandering around the store looking around. I’m honestly amazed by the merch this place has. Even the keychains look pretty nifty, I guess all those weird items I’ve been getting has made me a bit weird myself.

“I must look like a child for getting intrigued by things like this. I wonder how Eve is- Huh?”

I looked to my right and realized I was close to a danger zone. That zone being the underwear section for women, what if someone saw me and thought I was up to something. Crap, I don’t want to get spotted here! Then I really would look like a pervert! I got to leave before-

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THERE!”

I froze for a moment, only to turn around and see something out of my worst nightmare. It was Nina wearing her casual clothes and Stacy was with her, they both had bags in their hands. I just want to curl up in a ball right now, Eve I blame you for this!