Chapter 598:

Elephant in the room

En Passant Grandmaster

Back in the playing hall, the stress from what happened with Mimoko ate at Yuusuke as he opened his game against Ichiko by moving his pawn to e4. Ichiko didn't seem phased at all though as she moved her pawn to e5. Yuusuke attempted to continue business as usual by moving his knight to f3, but Ichiko had other plans.

"Ara, ara. I heard this was rather effective last round, let's see if it's a stale joke or not," Ichiko thought as she moved her pawn to d5.

Yuusuke scowled in disapproval, capturing the pawn at e5 with his knight.

"Ara, ara. Bad move, little mouse. Oh wait, Elephants are supposed to be scared of mice. Oops," Ichiko thought as she bashfully smiled and moved her bishop to d6.

"The hell is she smiling about!? Is she actually behind this!? If so... I'm gonna destroy her!" Yuusuke thought as he launched his queen to h5.

"And you've just become the joke, and without me even rubbing my shiny bald head. Hmm, wonder if my lack of eyebrows and eyelashes heightens the luck factor. Oh well, I'll just get it waxed again at Punk Maiden, maybe get an oil massage and facial to go with it," Ichiko thought as she mentally declared victory and moved her pawn to g6.

She then gave her head a good rub, which paid off better than expected for her as Yuusuke's rage got the better of him and saw him capture the pawn at g6 with his knight, yet Ichiko didn't capture it. Instead, she moved her knight to f6, panicking Yuusuke as he frantically moved his queen away to f3.

"Ara, ara. Ya dun goofed! And you can't run, you can't hide, cuz your bald teacher's coming- Hmm, do I count as a teacher? I'll write that one down for my show here tonight," Ichiko thought as she captured the pawn at e4 with her d-pawn.

Yuusuke grimaced and moved his queen to b3, watching as Ichiko decided now was the time to mop up his knight at g6 with her h-pawn. "Knight down. Shit, that bullshit with Inoue's really thrown me off. And after that loss two days ago. I thought I'd be fine after the rest day... Fuck, I can't lose!" he thought as he moved his queen to e3.

Ichiko smiled, closed her eyes, and shook her head as she castled king's side, further agitating Yuusuke as he brought his knight out to c3. Ichiko mirrored him and brought her knight out to c6, leading Yuusuke to lash out and capture the pawn at e4 with his knight. Ichiko happily captured said knight with her knight, frustrating Yuusuke, who began to lose reason as evidenced by his play of pawn to d4.

"And that's a queen for me. Hmm, is polygamy legal here? Well, I don't even have a lover so I guess I'm fine to flirt," Ichiko thought as she moved her rook to e8.

"You're not trapping my queen," Yuusuke thought as he moved his bishop to e2.

"That won't work. Now don't tell your homeroom teacher, but I'm about to flirt with another girl behind her back. Check," Ichiko giggled as she moved her bishop to b4.

Yuusuke's jaw dropped in confusion at what he just heard. "Um... uh, what?"

"Shh, silence is golden."

"Right," Yuusuke nervously nodded as he moved his pawn to c3.

Just as quickly had confusion found it's way to Yuusuke, so too did despair as Ichiko captured the pawn at c3 with her knight, meaning he'd either lose the queen or stumble into a matting net no matter what he did. "Fuck," he thought as he captured the knight at c3 with his b-pawn.

Then it was bye-bye queen as Ichiko captured the queen at e3 with her rook, but Yuusuke retaliated by capturing the bishop at c4 with his c-pawn.

"Ara, math clearly isn't your strong suit, nor was it mine. But I know 6 is great with 9, I mean greater than, oops, it's actually less. Guess I better... check," Ichiko smiled as she captured the bishop at e2 with her rook.

Yuusuke facepalmed both at the joke and his own pitiful position as he captured the rook at e2 with his king.

"Don't cringe, or was that not a cringe. Better check again," Ichiko chuckled as she captured the pawn at d4 with her knight.

This time it was clearly a dejected scowl as Yuusuke moved his king to f1. Ichiko gave chase and moved her knight to f3, but that appeared to be a blunder as Yuusuke instantly captured said knight with his g-pawn.

"Oh no, I became a joke, not. Check," Ichiko smirked as she moved her queen to d1, forcing Yuusuke's king to g2. "No running when it's curtains in 10. Check," Ichiko laughed as she moved her bishop to h3.

Yuusuke desperately captured said bishop with his king, but was quickly met by another check and corny joke from Ichiko as she captured the pawn at f3 with her queen, forcing his king to h4. Then came the king's time to shine as Ichiko marched it up to g7, prompting Yuusuke to move his bishop to e3.

"My, you really wanted to get out of the theater. Just let me check your ticket before you go," Ichiko pouted as she moved her rook to h8.

"Oh forget it! I can't stand this shit anymore, not now, not with what happened to Inoue, fuck you, check!" Yuusuke fumed as he slammed his bishop down on h6.

"Well someone's cranky. Probably because you're not getting an allowance check. Payday's not till next week I'm afraid," Ichiko frowned as she captured the bishop at h6 with her rook.

All Yuusuke could do was let out a frustrated groan as he moved his king to g5.

"And the joke's on you. Checkmate," Ichiko smiled as she moved her pawn to f6, winning the game.

Once the handshaking was over, Yuuske got up and stormed out immediately. "Fuck, FUCK! Why's this gotta happen? That flashy kabuki girl, I'm gonna kick her ass next time I see her," he thought.

The full game:

White: Yuusuke Shousen (1909) Black: Ichiko Rojas (2063)

1. e4 e5

2. Nf3 d5

3. Nxe5 Bd6

4. Qh5 g6

5. Nxg6 Nf6

6. Qf3 dxe4

7. Qb3 hxg6

8. Qe3 O-O

9. Nc3 Nc6

10. Nxe4 Nxe4