Words Of Aoi:At All Costs,A Promise Recalled

It is an awful sensation to be powerless.
The hissing of pain that comes from The Handsome Writer Man makes my heart ache,it has been in question by many even often by my father if I ever even had a heart.

I suppose this pain is proof of it.

I growl through the thick glass of the RESPO tank I am in and the doctor hears me,he always hears it but never so much as deigns to look my way but briefly to smirk at my sudden show of affection.
"Weakness.....it is a damning thing loving something."
He always said to me when I would be in the tank for longer periods when I first was brought back,when I was barely a vegetable that could only look at noises but barely understand the meanings of it.

I was the second of us and the only success that regained full function and even merged so successfully with the mixture that I became stronger.Yet the price they had not expected.
Dying in less than six months without constant RESPO is tiresome,the only reason I kept returning to this evil hold is so I can stop the victims,stop this evil man.

To keep my promise to their ancestor.

1880
The warriors,the rebels they will not stop following me....
I look to and fro and can not find him.
Where are you father?I ask in my head careful to not speak it aloud,adopted or no I have not been a popular sight amongst the remnant of the shinsengumi that were loyal to my father,many that serve the shogun will not forgive him for taking on a daughter of a faithful loyalist.
"I vowed to that young man that his baby would not know the taste of death or to be slain for a cause she had not pledged herself to.If my actions are too much for you to bear then slay yourself or I will do so gladly."
My father said that to a fellow Shinsengumi over a fear of my future,that I would destroy them someway.
I never even got to know my blood father but this man...he is a decent man,a father to be proud of.

That is why my terror will not abate.
"Father!"I shout for him,running the town streets detesting the tightness of wearing a kimono with the legs shut,how do normal women bear such discomfort is maddening but I run still on nonetheless until I pummel into a woman wearing a kimono of cherry blossoms,sunflowers and covered in so much old blood and her eyes are the eyes of a woman utterly haunted but fiercely determined to act.
She takes my arm hard as I apologize to her and begin to run again,I pull away"Release me now!I am trying to find my father and am in no mood to be vexed by some lonely,blood and drink addled woman!"

The woman actually somehow pulls me back to her,my body feels like my insides are coming out and I see blood streaming out of my finger nails like a bottle being poured out and emptied.
My cowardice suddenly makes an appearance and I scream my heart out,I try to pull out my dagger and swing wide out towards her but she somehow uses that blood to propel me up in the air and sends me swaying on blood strings back and forth in between the houses of the village street while I hear many men cry out in battle,or some in victory.

Meanwhile.
"Release me you witch!!"
She only observes me,she smiles softly like a mother would."You are truly your fathers daughter,both of them really you are much more like your blood father in ways you would not expect.He was a man of pure fire and fury but had an intensity that could melt any cold soul.A better friend I could not have asked for and that is why you are here,why I am forced to do this.Child I hope you can forgive me for this,and the future."
My eyes find hers,she gently brings me down and I rush to her,aiming my dagger across her neck and she smiles when I do not slice.
I can not slice.
Her hand covers my free hand and she smiles softly.

"When the time comes,you will have an awful choice to make.I do soon as well.You have no call to trust me but I promise you.This act i implore you to perform one day will save your father,both of them and the lives of many,only it will come at the cost of your love as it will mine,my son and grandson too...."
The woman who only seemed to be in her early twenties in age suddenly became as though an elder in moments by the change in her eyes.
She fingers a locket made of wood with an engraving of a tiger and cherry blossoms.
I believe her and I am clueless why.

What I hear next though.....
I understand now.
Nonetheless understanding this does not change the fact knowing these things and being forced for the greater good to do them....
Still breaks what is left of an Onnamusha heart