Volume 1 – Chapter 16

When you’re a VTuber – you wear a mask.
You put it on every time the camera turns on. You smile, even when everything inside is falling apart. You say cute words, jokes, reactions. You learn to be who everyone expects you to be – even when, that day, you’re someone else entirely.

But today… today I felt that mask cracking from the very start.

We began the stream at the usual hour. On the screen – a bright key visual: me, Karen, and Mimi in silly costumes, like we just jumped out of an anime opening.
– Ahoy, sailors! – I greeted them cheerfully, in my usual playful voice. – Tonight we’ve got… an explosive lineup!

Karen, with her red-and-black succubus avatar, scoffed:
– Oh, definitely. Especially when the only thing exploding here is the captain’s ego…

I nodded quietly. First jab. Okay. We can handle this.

– Haha! Let’s not fight, – chirped Mimi. – It’s a fun night! Cards, games, chatting! Hugs, right? Marissa? Karen?
– Only if I get to use an axe, – Karen muttered.

Second jab. Sharper. And already tugging somewhere inside.

I tried to stay cheerful. Smiled. Threw out my usual jokes.
But the whole time I felt Karen’s words scraping at me from the inside – not drawing blood, but cutting deep.

We laughed, all of us. And yet the tension grew.
Karen was like an overtightened string – vibrating just before it snaps. I knew she wasn’t having fun.
I knew she’d been irritated for months – my rankings, my merch, my growing streams.
Once she’d been above me. Now, she was standing in my shadow.

“Tonight will be rough,” I thought.

…

Half an hour passed. We chatted about random things – favorite foods, bugs in games, embarrassing stage moments.
Karen kept dropping little barbs.

– Of course Marissa doesn’t know how to make soup. Her diet’s made of donations.
– Look who’s talking, – I replied quietly. – Yesterday on stream you tried to eat a plastic banana.
– At least I’ve had a real man before. Have you? Or do three-dollar boosted fans count?

“One more warning,” I told myself.
But I stayed calm. A promise is a promise. I made it to Senpai.

Then, when the topic turned to “romance,” I already knew what was coming.

– So, Mimi, – Karen teased, – does someone already call you hime-sama in private?
– E-eh?! I-I-I… I-I don’t know! – Mimi stammered, laughing. – I-it’s a secret!
– Sure, sure… – Karen smirked. – And you, Captain? Secret too? Or is your fiancé from One Piece?

I wanted to defuse it with a joke. Something like: “My boyfriend’s a ¥10,000 superchat – reliable, silent, and always there for me.”
But I didn’t get the chance.

– Not that it matters. Hard to imagine anyone being into you. You’re like… what’s the word… an abandoned pirate ship – dusty, creaky, unwanted.

Mimi froze. The chat first burst into emojis – then went silent.

– Karen, maybe that’s enough? – Mimi said softly.

– I’m just being honest. We met at the agency, remember? Some people, honestly, look like… you know those scarecrows farmers put in the fields? Exactly that. Marissa without filters – that’s a visual hazard.

– Stop it, – I said. My voice trembled. I didn’t know if the mic caught it. Probably did.

– No, really. Even if someone did love a girl like that… that’s a diagnosis. Needs treatment. Guys, should we pitch in for her therapy? So Marissa can afford a psychiatrist? Ha-ha!

…

Silence.
That heavy kind of silence, when even the world forgets to breathe.
Inside me, something fragile just… cracked. No anger. No explosion. Just a quiet break.

You promised. You promised him.
You said it yourself: I won’t tell anyone. I won’t put my career or his name at risk.

And then the words escaped.

– I… fell in love.

I exhaled it, like surfacing from underwater. My voice was soft – stripped of stage, of mask, of armor.

– With someone. A man who doesn’t belong to this world. Not to mine.

I inhaled again, steadying my breath.

– He looked at me when I was lost, tired, with messy hair, no makeup, no persona. And he said, “You’re real. You’re beautiful.”

Mimi stared at me wide-eyed. Karen said nothing.

– He’s never asked for anything. Never demanded recognition. He just… holds me. When I cry – he’s there. He’s not afraid to see me weak. He gave me a hairpin – shaped like a ship. And a pendant – with a message inside.

I swallowed hard, because even the memory hurt and healed at once.

– I opened it at home. Inside it said: “You’re needed by many people. And I’m one of them. Always.” And I… I realized he believes in me more than I do.

My voice broke. I wiped my eyes, but the words kept flowing.

– He became a place where I’m not afraid. He’s not a partner, not a contract – he’s simply a person who holds my trembling hands. He showed me I don’t need to be strong to be worthy.

I looked at Karen.

– And you know, Karen… I’m not angry. Really. I just hope someday you’ll meet someone like that too. Someone who won’t let you keep being angry at the world. Someone who’ll hold your anger – and turn it into light.

…

The stream went still. That deep, dense kind of stillness where even the light feels wrong.
Karen and Mimi froze, unable to believe what they’d just heard.
The chat – which a moment earlier had been filled with emojis and jokes – fell silent.
Everyone watching understood instantly: Mirai had just broken the unspoken rule, crossed the invisible line where only truth exists.

The shock was so heavy that Mimi, regaining her voice first, spoke hesitantly into the mic:
– T-that’s… all for today. Thank you, everyone… see you next time…

The stream ended.

Silence filled the room. No chat. No voices. Nothing.

I sat alone. Face buried in my hands.

– I’m sorry… – I whispered. – I’m so sorry, Senpai.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I sobbed – loud, raw, like a child who’s broken her favorite toy. Like someone who’s just betrayed everything she loves.

– I didn’t mean to… I really didn’t… I just… I couldn’t…

I wiped my eyes with trembling fingers, but the tears wouldn’t stop.
Every word I’d said on stream was real – and yet, every word was a betrayal.
Of my promise. Of his trust.
Of you.

I covered my face again.

– I… broke it, – I whispered.

The promise.
To Senpai.
To my manager.

I’d broken it – out of emotion, out of pride, out of myself.

And I cried again – not out of anger, but shame.

I pushed the chair aside, curled up by the desk, my tears dripping onto the keyboard.

– I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… – I whispered. – I didn’t mean to. I just couldn’t stay silent…

I pressed my palms to my chest and, for the first time in my life, truly felt what it means – to betray someone.
And how much it hurts when that betrayal might destroy everything you love.