Volume 1 – Chapter 17

I sat on the floor. Curled. Folded. Broken.
Only tears – heavy, wet – kept me from breathing.

I couldn’t remember sitting down. Couldn’t tell how much time had passed since the stream. There was only one thought left: it’s over. I ruined everything.

My phone buzzed, flashed, trembled. Messages poured in – every two or three seconds. The chat icon blinked red.
I didn’t open it. I couldn’t.

My heart pounded as if it wanted to break free.
Each breath felt like lifting a concrete slab off my chest.
I couldn’t breathe fully. Couldn’t exhale.
I just… existed. Sitting. Shaking.
Like a child hiding in a closet.

Then – a real call.

I looked at the screen. The name: Senior Manager.

– …I can’t… – I whispered. – I’m not ready… I can’t…

But I answered. My fingers trembling.

– Mirai, – came her calm, professional voice. – I just wanted to say… I saw the stream. And… Karen was out of line. That’s clear. We won’t discuss details now – we’ll talk tomorrow. But… I understand. That was a hard situation.

I opened my mouth, barely managing to whisper:
– I’m sorry… I… I didn’t mean to…

And suddenly everything hit me – all at once.
The words. The faces. The promise to Senpai. The promise to myself. Everything I’d broken.
How I let everyone down.
How I betrayed him.

Disgust flooded me. My breathing faltered – really faltered.
It wasn’t just crying anymore – I was suffocating.

– I’m sorry… I… can’t… – I gasped, my voice rasping, the sound drowning in my head’s ringing.

– Mirai? Are you okay? Can you hear me?

I couldn’t answer. The phone slipped from my hands.

I curled tighter, forehead pressed to the floor. My chest tightened.
Each breath broke off in jagged bursts.

– Is this… – I choked. – Is this really…

So this is how it ends – I thought.
Dying on the floor, from a panic attack.
Alone.
With a broken career.
A broken promise.

I’m weak. Too weak.

My body trembled. My fingers went numb. A high-pitched hum filled my ears.

Then – a sound.
A ping. A message.

The phone, somehow unbroken on the floor, lit up:
“On my way.”

I blinked.
For a few seconds, my mind couldn’t process it.
Who…?

Another message followed:
“Mirai, I’m here. Open the door.”

I closed my eyes.
And for the first time in an hour – breathed a little deeper.
He’s here.
Senpai.

He came.

I almost fainted from relief.
A single thought flashed through my mind:
Maybe I should just stop fighting? Stop breathing? Stop feeling this pain and shame?
Stop disappointing him… disappointing everyone…

But no.
Senpai had done so much for me. And I was failing him again.

No… I had to open that door.

Clinging to that thought – that tiny reason – I forced myself to move.

I got up. My legs were numb, my knees shaking. But I walked. Slowly.
Down the hallway. Through the dark apartment.
Every step like pushing through a thick sea of shame and fear.

I stopped by the mirror. Looked at myself.

Makeup smudged. Eyes swollen. Lips trembling. Hair tangled in messy knots.
There you are.
That’s what he’ll see now.
Ugly. Pitiful. The real you.
Can someone love this?

If he walks away now – I’ll understand. I deserve it.

My hand touched the doorknob.
I held my breath.
Opened.

He was there.

In his business suit, shirt slightly wrinkled, hair a little messy.
In his eyes – worry. Real, deep worry.

– Mirai… – he whispered.

I didn’t even have time to speak. He stepped forward.
And hugged me.

Silently. Carefully.
As if afraid to hurt me more.
As if I were a porcelain cup with a crack running through it.

– I wasn’t watching live, – he said, still holding me. – I was at work. I caught the ending on my way here. That Karen…

He sighed.

– I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner. Forgive me. But now… I’m here. I’m with you. It’s over. And… we’ll handle this. Together.

I closed my eyes – and started crying again.
But differently.
Tears not from fear – from relief. From warmth. From the simple fact that he came.

He left work. Rushed to me.
He’s… so kind.

– Thank you… – I whispered weakly. – You’re… you’re really here…

He pulled back a little. Looked into my eyes.

– Of course, – he said softly. – I’ll always be here. Until you get tired of seeing my face.

I pressed my forehead to his chest.
And when my breathing finally steadied, I murmured:

– I’m sorry. I… broke my promise. You asked me not to say anything… I let you down. I’m sorry.

He cupped my face in his hands. Gently.
Looked straight into my eyes.

– Hey… – he whispered. – I was surprised at first, yeah. We did just talk about it this morning.

Then he smiled faintly.

– But when I saw you… the way you spoke… how honest you were – how much heart there was in it – I realized you weren’t performing. You were speaking from the soul.

He brushed his thumb along my cheek.

– And you know… it made me happy. Not because you said “I love you.” But because I saw you. My Mirai. Real. Alive. You’re incredible.

He paused. His voice grew softer.

– I thought I already loved you as much as possible… but I think I love you even more now.

And I cried again.
God, how does he do that?

Just when you think you’ve reached the limit of someone’s kindness – he goes beyond it.

I hugged him tighter. Almost desperately.
Afraid that if I let go, he’d vanish.

– Thank you… – I whispered. – Thank you for being here…

He stroked my back. Slow. Gentle. Patient.

– I’ll always be with you, Mirai.

And I thought – I love you.
With all my heart.