Just whose death is it anyway?

"2 years, 2 months, 2 days, and 2 minutes. Not even a blink off. A new record."

I looked at the all too familiar sight of a rather irritated lady seated on a white throne. Her purple hair swayed while her iridescent eyes pierced into my very soul. Her usual white clothes were missing and she instead donned a rather stunning red dress adorned with what appeared to be rubies, clattering with her every breath. Perhaps she seemed slightly more annoyed than normal because I interrupted a party?

“In my defense, it was not my fault this time.”

Really, it wasn’t. I could barely walk. Even if I could, how was I supposed to do anything about the entire house sliding off a mountain, sailing into the air, doing a triple spin, and landing in a river just as a flash flood decided to pass by?

“I can understand your two-minute run where you managed to die because a bee stung you on your way out. I can even understand how in two hours, you managed to die from your nurse, slipping on a pool of hazardous stomach fluid, tossing you out of a window. So, remind me. What exactly happened on your two-day reincarnation?”

I glanced away from the lady’s stare. Not that there was all that much to stare at with the pure white walls.

“So?”

And it certainly did not seem like our gracious lady would allow me to dodge the question.

“That might have been my fault, but only a little bit. It is not like I knew that babies couldn’t eat honey and there just happened to be a jar of honey sitting next to me.”

“Somehow, you manage to die from just about everything. I have to wonder if I might be at fault. We gave you a nice bonus because you originally died from sacrificing yourself to save someone in need—a brave and noble action, certainly—however, you’ve managed to prove that either something beyond the capabilities of the gods to foresee is after your life, or the bonuses are somehow killing you.”

It really was a nice bonus. I got to keep my memories and select a perk from a huge book. I don’t even know how long it took me to read the entire book, much less choose my perk. Unfortunately, it seemed that I was doomed to never have a chance at using said perk given my penchant for dying early.

“This is the last time you can be reborn if this keeps up. As such, I am taking the liberty of taking your memories for safekeeping and I am changing your perk. I won’t tell you what the perk is because you won’t remember.”

“Well, I have to thank you for that. I’m not trying to die on purpose.”

“I’m sure you aren’t.” The nice lady sighed as she gazed at something, then she continued speaking, “Look, there is this really peaceful world that has regular openings. Something to do with the residents randomly being sent to other worlds and almost never returning. There is no magic there, but at least it is reasonably safe as a result.”

Safe sounded good. A nice, peaceful life. One without any fighting would be great. Of course, I accepted that offer right away. I still remember that smile, and her final words to me.

“Hey, Mari, you should wake up.”

Wait…