Chapter 16:
Super-Bullet-Special-Chapter! (Or Something)
Bullet Gloryhole!
“Uff… alright… we’ve had about… uh…” I scratched the back of my neck, trying to remember.
“Sixteen chapters, Hiro,” Aya added, sitting on the other end of the couch.
“Right, right, so much shit happens I forget. Damn, who’d think we’d spin our wheels for sixteen chapters?”
“I would…”
“Cher, no… not a question… rhetorical…”
“Mhm.”
“You don’t know what rhetorical means?”
“Guess is more important to explain the situation than teach Cher new words.”
“Boring… let me see that damn notebook. Got reader questions? I want reader questions,” I said, while Aya handed me a small notebook. “Not a single fucking question?”
“Nope.”
“Ungrateful motherfuckers… you know, the line to suck my dick starts on the left, get in and when you're th—” Cher hooked her arm around my neck while Aya clapped a hand over my mouth to stop me.
“Ahem… alright, to the important stuff… first, ignore Hiro, he’s in a pissy mood and we just got vacation.”
“Probably ‘cause the author’s writing some cheap romance fic. How the fuck am I not gonna be pissed?” I said, squirming against Cher.
“Hiro, please, I’m trying to keep this professional—for the readers.”
“Readers? Ha! So we got those?”
“Six, I think,” Aya said.
“Knew it, knew we’d end up niche…”
“Any ideas, genius?”
“No. I just follow the scri—” I blanked out, flipping through the notebook. “Hey… girls…”
“Now what, Hiro?”
“This thing’s fucking empty.”
Cher snatched the notebook and flipped page by page. “Yep, not a note, nothing.”
“Fuck my mother, this idiot’s improvising every chapter. You sure there’s nothing? No torn pages, anything?” I asked, leaning back.
Was I trying to see the notebook? Yeah.
Were Cher’s tits blocking the view? Yeah.
Am I complaining? Hell no.
“And… uh… what’s the point of all this?” Aya asked.
“Might be better to ask Ashley—she’s weirdly not here, and she’s not an extra.”
“Probably sleeping.”
“Surely, or reading yaoi doujins…” I said, kicking my feet up on the round table I swear wasn’t there when this started. “Or stabbing people…”
“Or both,” Aya added.
“Definitely both,” Cher said from behind me.
“Anyway! Shit… point is, our author gave us unpaid vacation, ‘cause of course the cheap bastard wouldn’t pay us jack…” I said, dropping my head onto my knees. “Wanted to use these days to buy shit I totally don't need but definitely want… damn it…”
“Come on, Hiro, you’re a whiner when you’re off-script. Think about the next chapters—things’ll get crazy as fuck, that’ll be awesome.”
“The author probably doesn’t even know what’s next…” Cher said, shaking the notebook like something might fall out. But no, no chance, ain't happening folks.
“Well… Hiro and I are hitting an otaku con in cosplay to find Ashley,” Aya said, spinning on the couch.
“No shit, really?”
“You weren’t there those days—Ashley kidnapped you. Catch up,” I said, grabbing the notebook back.
“Didn’t kidnap me, I turned myself in—that’s different. How about a thanks?”
“Keep waiting,” I said.
“He didn’t give us a bigger couch, Hiro. Want me to wait on the floor?”
“No… just a saying. Haaa… damn, let’s wrap this up… wanna go play Umamusume...”
“Alright, alright, alright! Here’s the deal—we’re out for a few days, but the Cher rescue arc is right around the corner!” Aya said, smacking the wall with her palm.
Weird, ‘cause I swear the chapter started with the couch in the middle of the room… but whatever, I don’t call the shots.
“And a new character.”
“New character?” Cher asked, leaning over me.
“Yeah, damn, don’t you read the memos? Whatever… new arc. Do they count as arcs if they’re this short?”
“Told you size doesn’t matter,” Aya said.
“Not the time, Aya.”
“My bad.”
“Yeah, totally out of place.”
“Who’s this new character?” Cher asked again.
“Uhh… had it written down…” I dug through my pocket. AA battery, gum that’s probably toxic, death threats from offended otakus, and a folded note. “Here… Haru.”
“Haru?” Aya tilted her head.
“Yep. Haru. Don’t ask—I got no clue how the author’s shoving people in… but anyway, that’s the announcement.” I clapped to end it.
“Hope the gloryhole line’s still going around as sticky as always when we're back,” Aya added, starting to clap.
“Don’t forget to check the stories Ashley and Haru wrote—makes us wish they were our authors,” Cher said, thoughtful at first, then joining the group clap. “Why are we clapping?”
“Reference… I think…” Aya stepped up.
“What? Thought we’d go with the hospital one, huh? Alright. CUT!"
“Sixteen chapters, Hiro,” Aya added, sitting on the other end of the couch.
“Right, right, so much shit happens I forget. Damn, who’d think we’d spin our wheels for sixteen chapters?”
“I would…”
“Cher, no… not a question… rhetorical…”
“Mhm.”
“You don’t know what rhetorical means?”
“Guess is more important to explain the situation than teach Cher new words.”
“Boring… let me see that damn notebook. Got reader questions? I want reader questions,” I said, while Aya handed me a small notebook. “Not a single fucking question?”
“Nope.”
“Ungrateful motherfuckers… you know, the line to suck my dick starts on the left, get in and when you're th—” Cher hooked her arm around my neck while Aya clapped a hand over my mouth to stop me.
“Ahem… alright, to the important stuff… first, ignore Hiro, he’s in a pissy mood and we just got vacation.”
“Probably ‘cause the author’s writing some cheap romance fic. How the fuck am I not gonna be pissed?” I said, squirming against Cher.
“Hiro, please, I’m trying to keep this professional—for the readers.”
“Readers? Ha! So we got those?”
“Six, I think,” Aya said.
“Knew it, knew we’d end up niche…”
“Any ideas, genius?”
“No. I just follow the scri—” I blanked out, flipping through the notebook. “Hey… girls…”
“Now what, Hiro?”
“This thing’s fucking empty.”
Cher snatched the notebook and flipped page by page. “Yep, not a note, nothing.”
“Fuck my mother, this idiot’s improvising every chapter. You sure there’s nothing? No torn pages, anything?” I asked, leaning back.
Was I trying to see the notebook? Yeah.
Were Cher’s tits blocking the view? Yeah.
Am I complaining? Hell no.
“And… uh… what’s the point of all this?” Aya asked.
“Might be better to ask Ashley—she’s weirdly not here, and she’s not an extra.”
“Probably sleeping.”
“Surely, or reading yaoi doujins…” I said, kicking my feet up on the round table I swear wasn’t there when this started. “Or stabbing people…”
“Or both,” Aya added.
“Definitely both,” Cher said from behind me.
“Anyway! Shit… point is, our author gave us unpaid vacation, ‘cause of course the cheap bastard wouldn’t pay us jack…” I said, dropping my head onto my knees. “Wanted to use these days to buy shit I totally don't need but definitely want… damn it…”
“Come on, Hiro, you’re a whiner when you’re off-script. Think about the next chapters—things’ll get crazy as fuck, that’ll be awesome.”
“The author probably doesn’t even know what’s next…” Cher said, shaking the notebook like something might fall out. But no, no chance, ain't happening folks.
“Well… Hiro and I are hitting an otaku con in cosplay to find Ashley,” Aya said, spinning on the couch.
“No shit, really?”
“You weren’t there those days—Ashley kidnapped you. Catch up,” I said, grabbing the notebook back.
“Didn’t kidnap me, I turned myself in—that’s different. How about a thanks?”
“Keep waiting,” I said.
“He didn’t give us a bigger couch, Hiro. Want me to wait on the floor?”
“No… just a saying. Haaa… damn, let’s wrap this up… wanna go play Umamusume...”
“Alright, alright, alright! Here’s the deal—we’re out for a few days, but the Cher rescue arc is right around the corner!” Aya said, smacking the wall with her palm.
Weird, ‘cause I swear the chapter started with the couch in the middle of the room… but whatever, I don’t call the shots.
“And a new character.”
“New character?” Cher asked, leaning over me.
“Yeah, damn, don’t you read the memos? Whatever… new arc. Do they count as arcs if they’re this short?”
“Told you size doesn’t matter,” Aya said.
“Not the time, Aya.”
“My bad.”
“Yeah, totally out of place.”
“Who’s this new character?” Cher asked again.
“Uhh… had it written down…” I dug through my pocket. AA battery, gum that’s probably toxic, death threats from offended otakus, and a folded note. “Here… Haru.”
“Haru?” Aya tilted her head.
“Yep. Haru. Don’t ask—I got no clue how the author’s shoving people in… but anyway, that’s the announcement.” I clapped to end it.
“Hope the gloryhole line’s still going around as sticky as always when we're back,” Aya added, starting to clap.
“Don’t forget to check the stories Ashley and Haru wrote—makes us wish they were our authors,” Cher said, thoughtful at first, then joining the group clap. “Why are we clapping?”
“Reference… I think…” Aya stepped up.
“What? Thought we’d go with the hospital one, huh? Alright. CUT!"
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