Fishing Trip Part 4

“Bwah!” Kishel sputtered as a large wave slammed into him and swept him off his feet. Rimea laughed and Sori cheered. “Um...big sis Mari?” One of the other boys on their side of the river asked. “Isn’t it kinda unfair to use magic?” Opposing them, the other team of children stared with open mouths at the waterlogged Kishel.

“A-are you okay?!” “Still alive!” Kishel raised his arm as he floated face-down in the water. Mari smirked. “Nah, even if it’s a water fight, there’s nothing unfair about using what you have at your disposal.” “Yeah! Come at us bro!” Sori yelled, shaking his fists, but looking completely ridiculous with a bucket on his head as a battle helmet.

Azreal took a sip of lemonade. "I didn’t realize that you were into such chaos.” Sariel commented. “You’re so quiet, I would have thought that this sort of thing would stress you out.” “Well, having a little brother acclimates you to craziness. Sori’s a lively kid. Though he's a bit more...hyper than usual today.” Azreal swirled his glass. “And I don’t dislike kids just because they're loud. Honestly, I love playing with them. I don’t feel nervous or anxious around children the way I do other adults.”

Azreal still felt on edge because he genuinely didn’t know what to expect from his comrade. Sariel was so emotionless and detached that Azreal hadn't anticipated him inviting himself to join in on he and Mari’s picnic with the kids. That was shocking, and the fact that Sariel seemed to be enjoying himself made Azreal wonder if he'd lost his mind! Sariel had explicitly told Azreal that there was no need for them to be friends as long as they got their shared job done, so why did he want to just...hang out with Azreal's family? Maybe it was just the fact that, other than when they were recovering from their failed mission,  he’d never seen Sariel display emotion and couldn’t comprehend the idea of him being friendly, but Azreal was shamefully inclined to suspect Sariel of intending something suspicious. ‘I’m not feeling any negative intent from him.’ Azreal noted. ‘If he wanted to do anything to Mari or Sori, he would have done it while I was gone, and he would have ambushed me on my way back if he was after me.’

“Is anything wrong?” Azreal asked bluntly, trying to assuage his nervousness. “You’re normally not this friendly with anyone, let alone me. You’re here because you have a message, right?” Sariel nodded. The two men were sitting on the blanket at the edge of the riverbank, watching Mari and the children have a water fight. “Yes, but it’s nothing incredibly urgent. I was summoned before the king to talk about the...incident. He wants to make sure he hears everything right from the source and that he doesn’t miss anything in the ‘overly bureaucratic paperwork’.” The pale man explained. “I get the sense that he has the beginnings of a plan in motion, but he wants to make sure to cross all his T’s and dot all his I’s first since this is a situation where the slightest misstep could cause hundreds of deaths. In any case, he wants to talk to you in person, too, and sent me to tell you to visit him in the capital.”

“That’s it?” “Yes.” “Then why are you still here?” “Oh, do you not want me? If I’m ruining your day off, I can move on.” “No, that’s not it!” Azreal sighed in frustration. “I don’t get it! You hate me, so why would you want to spend time with me and my family? It’s weird and uncomfortable for me!" Sariel stared at him in with an eyebrow raised. “When did I ever say that I hated you?” “Back before...then...you said that there was no reason for us to be friends. That we were only working together out of mutual obligation, and there wasn’t any reason for us to need to socialize beyond that. Besides,” Azreal looked Sariel dead in the eyes. “We’ve known each other for over two years, and you’ve never talked to me beyond what was necessary for work. You never stepped in when Scath was harassing me, unless you thought he would turn violent. What else is that going to make me think, other than that you don’t like me? What reason have you ever given me to think that you’re any different than the others?”

Azreal knew it sounded harsh; a cruel part of him wanted to lash out like a bludgeon with his words and hurt Sariel. The man had never actively wronged him, but his silence and complicity by omission hung heavy over Azreal and made him more uncomfortable than the raw malice that he’d been surrounded since childhood. Sariel made him feel like a bug trapped under a microscope, not knowing how he was expected to act or what the other man would do. Azreal had been dealing with maltreatment from the other mercenaries for years but, aside from the last time, Sariel had never outright objected to their behavior. True, he never joined in or approved of their behavior, and in fact kept the whole group at an arm’s length, but he’d watched Azreal deal with years of harassment and never once intervened for his sake. ‘Even if I deserve it, even if I can bear it, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt me. It doesn’t mean that I wasn't secretly praying for someone to help me and for my pain to lessen. The fact that the one person in the mercenary group who treated me like a human still didn’t care...it makes me feel worthless, like he's looking right through me.'

“I’m...sorry...” Sariel looked off to the side, clearly uncomfortable. “I’ve never really liked other humans at all and I became a mercenary for my own selfish motivations, so I’ve never thought much about anyone but myself before. A pathetic excuse, I know, but I swear, I don’t hate you. I assure you that my failure to care has everything to do with me being selfish and nothing to do with you personally as an individual. You’re...not wrong. I should have said something. You’re our leader, after all, and the only one with basic humanity.” Sariel’s words came out in an uneven, hesitant tone, as if he was trying to figure out what he should say, and Azreal sensed his genuine discomfort.

‘He’s...like me.’ Azreal realized. ‘We aren’t the exact same, but he’s no better with people than I am. As far as I can remember, he’s never mentioned having any friends or interests even in passing. Ever since he joined the team two years ago, he’s been living at an inn, too. Has he really not done anything but train and do mercenary work all this time?’

“Wait, do you not have any friends or family at all?” Sariel shook his head. “My parents passed away when I was a teenager and, ever since then, I’ve been training so I can make sure no one else goes through the same thing. Being a knight and following rules was never for me, so that’s why I took up the mercenary profession. I’ve never had time to focus on anything other than getting stronger, and I live at inns to make it easier to move around for work so...no. I have no friends or family. My  job is my life.” Sariel shrugged. “I’m living my life the way I want but...in a way it’s made me an entity separate from the rest of humanity. It doesn’t bother me, exactly, but I’m beginning to realize that it puts me at a disadvantage and has made me into a rather unpleasant person.”

“Well, I guess I have to forgive you, right?” Azreal gave a slight smile. “My feelings might be hurt but...you’re the one person who treated me decently so I can’t be too mad. Besides...” The image of the dead men flashed in his mind. “We’re all that’s left. Cryph might still be alive but-” “-he acts like he’s above us and is content to let us do all the dangerous work.” Sariel completed his thought. “He may be physically present, but he’s not truly a part of the team or doing the dangerous work. It's really only us left.” “Yeah, but he’s not any less sadistic or scary than he was when I was a kid.” Azreal shuddered, wanting to chase off the memories that had been carved into his flesh.

Sariel’s eyes flickered, clocking his companion’s fear, but he left the subject alone. “But, still, why did you want to hang out with us?” Azreal couldn’t resist pushing the topic again. “It’s not like you cared to talk to me before and, you said it yourself that you don’t like people. Why would you want to be around a bunch of screaming kids?” “I... don’t know...” Sariel admitted; a clear look of confusion on his face. “I didn’t like people but...I can’t explain it other than that having a near death experience and being faced with the power of pure evil changes things for you. I wanted to spend time with you all, but I can’t explain why I wanted to or why I’m not hating it. Does that.... well, it clearly doesn’t make any sense, but can you accept that? I know it’s not a real answer to your question, but I don’t know myself.”

Azreal could understand and accept that answer. It was akin to how he’d longed for connection and companionship for so long but could never understand that that was what he was looking for until after Nanny and Sori had come into his life. ‘He says he’s selfish, but he still has a human heart. He’s not some disconnected machine.’ Azreal reflected on the conversations they had had back in the palace medical ward. ‘He genuinely felt angry on Scath’s behalf that his uncle didn’t care about his death. And he was kind to me when I was blaming myself and about to fall into the pit of guilt and doubt. He might not understand it but...he probably just wants to connect with other human beings, just like anyone else.’ “Of course. I think I understand what you’re feeling. I was alone for most of my life, after all.” Azreal shrugged it off.

The two men watched Mari and the children play in silence. “So, what’s the deal with your girlfriend?” Sariel asked suddenly. “When Scath told me that you had a woman living with you, I thought he was making things up again, but I stand corrected! It’s odd, you never stuck me as the kind of person to get involved in a romantic relationship. And your girlfriend is a unicorn, of all things!” Azreal’s face felt hot. “S-she isn’t my girlfriend! Yet, anyway...” Sariel merely raised an eyebrow, inviting him to elaborate. Azreal sighed, embarrassed at having to explain his personal life to someone he’d only begun talking to for real a few moments ago. “We met when I was returning from helping with the evacuation in Ibis. Believe me, encountering a unicorn at all, let alone in their true form was not something I ever thought would happen to someone like me! You of all people could understand how ludicrous that would be!” Azreal looked to Sariel, who’s thoughtful expression reassured him that the pale mercenary was listening. “But it happened, somehow. It was a blessing, something that could only be explained by God because I don’t know how I’d ever be worthy enough to see such a holy creature. I was lucky but I assumed that was it.” He let out a little laugh. “Well, it wasn’t! I still can’t understand how or why, but Mari says it was love at first sight. A few days later, she showed up out of nowhere in her human form declaring that we were soul mates and that she wanted to stay with me forever.” He couldn’t help but grin and shake his head at the recollection of the sheer determination of the white-haired woman who was currently splashing around in the river like a child. “She clearly wasn’t going to leave, so what choice did I have but to let her stay with us?”

“And you love her, too, now?” “No! Well, yes! Ugh, it’s complicated!” Azreal slapped his forehead in embarrassment. “She’s one of my most precious people and I do love her and don’t want to lose her but...” He looked down at the ground in disbelief that he was talking about this with Sariel of all people. “I don’t know if I can ever truly love someone,” Azreal said softly. “I barely know anything about love at all, let alone romantic love. I know I love Mari in some way but...” He trailed off, unsure how to explain it. “She says I’m her boyfriend and destined soul mate. I have no idea what it is exactly that I feel yet.” He watched as Mari leaped in the water, shrieking for joy without any shame or self-consciousness and acting just as childish as the actual children. ‘She’s my light and my joy. She makes me smile and feel human.’ A slight blush crept across his face.

“Oh my. You really are as pure as the driven snow, aren’t you?” Azreal turned a deep crimson and hissed at Sariel. “What does that have to do with anything? I shouldn’t have opened my mouth! I have enough problems and don’t need you to be making fun of me, too!” Sariel let out a short laugh; the most expression Azreal had ever witnessed coming from him. The icy mercenary seemed truly amused, but it wasn’t a capricious sort of amusement. “What makes you think I’m going to make fun of you?” Sariel asked. “I’m just surprised and curious, that’s all. You’ve always been strange to me. You’re an odd sort of person to be a life-long mercenary, so I shouldn’t have been so surprised that you have a girlfriend. There’s nothing wrong with being in love. Or not in love.” He quickly added to avoid further protests. “It’s interesting to learn something new about you, that’s all.”

“Hey!” Droplets of water splashed Azreal’s face, causing him to jump. “Ah! Mari, you scared the crap out of me!” Azreal exclaimed heavily as the unicorn girl stood giggling in front of him.

“Sorry!” She grinned, clearly not sorry at all. “It’s your turn to play with the kids so I can tap out and take a break.”