Tropical tap water

Mexico City, Summer 2023... 

A cute young woman with short white hair and chartreuse eyes clad in blue cargo capris, white sneakers, a white bra top, and a white jacket loosely draped over her shoulders giggled as she did her makeup. This was Diana Donbus, a vlogger here on a trip with family after winning a raffle. The only problem was that she was a certified asshole with eccentric whims to boot. 

"Cómo estás, bitches! That's right, I'm in fucking Mexico! Sombreros, tacos, tap water! We bout to lose ourselves to party town! I don't know jack about this place, but since I won the trip here in a lottery, we here.  You don't know me? Uh, Diana? The girl with the short white hair, big boobs... You're acting like you don't know me. Well how about we acquaint ourselves with some skin-to-skin contact!"

Thus, Diana shoved her phone into her breasts... still filming. 

"Liking the exclusive view? Well now I'm your momma and you're all my babies. Now let's go find the most authentic Mexican tap water and chug it with our tacos!" 

Thus, Diana began running around the streets of Mexico City like an idiot, annoying locals with her cringe-worthy Spanish, and jerkish persona. 

"We're here with Paco. Paco uh..."

"It's Pablo-"

"PICASSO! Matisse did nothing wrong!"

"What are you-"

"CHUPACABRA! We found da chupacabra!" 

Pablo pinched his forehead in annoyance as Diana ran off. "What a lousy tourist. I actually don't think my conscience will nag me if I don't warn her about those delinquents that came to town. Hmm, then again, they aren't exactly deadly. Maybe they could even teach her some humility."

As if on cue, a chain suddenly wrapped around Pablo's neck and dragged him to the ground. 

"Huh? Da fuck you sayin' bout us, huh!?" a female voice snarled. 

Pablo attempted to rise, but a converse to the chest prevented any such hope.  All he could do now was stare up at the masked girl with long multicolored hair. 

"Oi geezer, you ignorin' us, huh? We're the Santasukeban gang! We run this city now, huh!" 

"No, please. We just want to live in peace."

"Peace is for shitheads!" the girl fumed as she launched Pablo into the air and hurled him into a trashcan. 

Pablo twitched for a bit, but then went eerily still. 

"He's dead... You killed him!" a pink-haired girl in a karate outfit and sneakers cried. 

The masked girl didn't seem to care, and kicked the can over, sending Pablo rolling out and into a nearby stall. 

"You'll pay for killing grandpa Pablo!" the pink-haired girl glared as she took a combative stance. 

From inside a nearby restaurant, Diana gawked as a completely hairless bespectacled woman with a blue flame tattoo on the side of her head arrived at her table. 

"Hello, I'll be your waitress today," the woman groaned. 

"What's with the shaved head!?"

"Manners... I'm poor. I'm poor and in order to get money, I had to let some evil monkey shave my head, my eyebrows, pluck my eyelashes, wax me, tattoo me... It was humiliation," the waitress groaned as she stopped herself from tearing up. 

"Cool story sis. Tap water."

"Tap water?"

"Yeah, from the tap, pull up the handle, water flows in. Tap water."

"I- If you insist."

The waitress left and returned in almost a minute with a glass of water.  "Why did you specifically request tap water? You know how bad a reputation it has?" the waitress asked as she set the glass before Diana. 

"Uh, what fool doesn't come to Mexico to chug the tap water?" Diana scoffed. 

"Lots... Lots actually."

"Well I'm not lots, I'm the whole damn lot!" 

And with one mighty chug, Diana gulped down the glass of tap water before slamming some money on the table. "Keep the change," she huffed as she strutted out. 

The waitress stared down at the money and sighed. "Monopoly money... We did just serve her tap water... Better than nothing I suppose."

Yet as she more closely examined the money, her eyes widened. "There's a $100 bill folded up and taped to the back of one of the Monopoly bills! But, why... Ah, I could cry. I've never received such a tip!" 

Outside, Diana shuffled through her pockets. "Where the fuck's my hundred? Fucking panhandlers must've pickpocketed me." 

"What are you complaining about?" a voice called out. 

Diana looked up to see a blonde-haired girl clad in a light green floral one-piece thigh-length dress shirt skirt and a pair of red sneakers. This was her sister, Elzbieta Donbus. 

"Look, my sister who looks nothing like me, probably cuz she's from another mother or adopted," Diana gawked. 

"Oh I wish! I'd love nothing more than to say my only ties to you are that I was raised in the same household, but no, we're fraternal twins." 

Unlike her asshole of a twin sister, Elzbieta was a respectful and stern young woman. 

"I drank tap water, but I lost my hundred. Spot me."

"You drank tap water!? Are you stupid!?"

"No, you are."

Slap!

"If you get sick, it's all on you. I won't be waiting around for you at all."

The two walked for a bit before reaching a shady looking stall with two barber chairs. There weren't any humans around, but there was a creepy little monkey manning the stall. 

"Welcome to Paco's palm spring paradise. I am the magical monkey of Paco's. They call me, Esteban," the monkey stated as sparks appeared to fly out of his back. 

"Holy shit, it's a talking monkey! What shit you sell!?" Diana grinned. 

"Diana,  sparks were flying out- Mmph!?"

"Shh, shh, shh. We do not speak about my robot monkey," the monkey menacingly whispered into Elzbieta's ear as he wrapped his long arm around her mouth. 

"Whoa, sick! Wish I had a monkey that did that," Diana smirked as she sat down in one of the chairs and crossed her legs. 

"Then would you like premium service from Paco's? Clean head shave with eyebrows included, hot wax and eyelashes plucked and we pocket your pockets with mucho dinero."

Elzbieta desperately tried to refuse, but Diana was totally down. 

"Shave that bitch smooth like the one from the restaurant."

"Coming right up," the monkey cackled as he restrained Elzbieta in a chair. 

Elzbieta began to scream and protest, but it didn't stop the monkey from shaving all her hair off nor Diana from filming every second of her misery. In no time flat, the blonde bombshell was bald and browless. 

"I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!" Elzbieta cried as she stared at her hairless state in the mirror. 

"And the woman is bald. Would you like us to pocket you with more cash in exchange for a tattoo?" the monkey asked. 

"Can you do her like one of those sugar skulls?"

Elzbieta's jaw dropped. 

"MOST CERTAINLY!" 

...

As Elzbieta was uncapped, she slowly rubbed her bald and completely inked head. The monkey had done a flawless job, but flawless, didn't mean it was wanted.

"I hate you," Elzbieta trembled as she got up and ran away in tears, allowing Diana to pocket all the money the monkey was to give her. 

Returning to the hotel, Diana found poor Elzbieta curled up on a chair. Her well-being wasn't of any concern though as she sat down at the desk and began reviewing her footage from the day. But as she did... 

"Huh? Why the hell is everyone crying!?"