Homeroom, Apparently

Something close growled softly. Followed by a hiss, a whisper, finally, glowing eyes. Too many eyes ofdifferent shapes blinked in the dark.

Mutsuki froze. ‘Yo...Youchan.’

‘Yes?’

‘Did the lights ‘‘being fixed’’ part include ‘’also haunted by feral spirits’’?’

Before Youchan could answer, something small launched at Mutsuki’s side. He stumbled and lost balance comically. With arms flailing and all, as random shapes scuttled or floated closer.

‘Oh no,’ Youchan sighed. ‘Not again.’

‘Not again what?!’

‘New sensei’s here!’ a tiny voice squealed.

‘What the—?’

‘HONEY, GET OFF HIM!’ a sweet voice shouted.

‘He smells funny!’

‘I DO NOT.. wait, who said that?’

‘Gon!’

‘I’m innocent!’

The lights flicked half-on. Chaos erupted. Mutsuki froze mid-yell. He was too stunned to even defend himself. He turned to Youchan, who was calmly casting a magical barrier behind them. As if shutting the door, but worse.

‘Youcha… Wow…’

‘Teehee.’ Youchan very adorably knocked on her head, as if she just hadn’t trapped someone underground with a bunch of unidentified magical energies.

You gotta be kidding me… Mutsuki could only stare at Youchan with a deadpan face.

Under the dim light, surrounded by giggling, floating, bickering creatures, some he could only see by their glowing eyes, Mutsuki realized one devastating truth.

‘I should’ve taken the banishment.’

Youchan giggled. ‘It’s too late for that now, Sensei.’

So I am a sensei now huh? Mutsuki sighed.

‘Charming as always, Maria.’ He could practically hear his cousin’s smug voice whispering, ‘‘The assistant is lovely. She’ll keep you in line.’’

The lights blinked on and off to reveal a hint of the chaos incarnate. Tiny yokai of every kind filled the room. A kappa floating in a watery cloud. An oni perched upside down from the ceiling. A yet to be clearly seen tiny shape scribbled on the whiteboard… in charcoal.

A small human boy blinked up from where he’d tackled Mutsuki and said cheerfully, ‘Are you our new sensei? You smell weird!’

Ok, ok… At least there is one human here… Wait a minute… Wouldn’t be the only human child be in grave danger being surrounded by yokais?

A small tanuki and fluffy kitsune hovered near Mutsuki’s unreadable face.

Mutsuki just laid there for a moment, staring up at the spinning ceiling lamps. Deep in his thought. Maybe thinking about which tiny creature he was already familiar with or which ones he haven’t seen yet prior to today. Maybe wondering how to escape.

‘Welcome to your class,’ Youchan said with a serene smile.

‘…Right. Of course. This is my life now.’

Youchan helped dust him off, though her shoulders trembled slightly. Either from suppressed laughter or secondhand despair.

‘I’ll leave you to introduce yourself,’ she said part stifling a giggle and part apologetic.

‘Introduce myself? To them? They tackled me!’ I don’t even know what type of folklore beings some of these children are!

The tanuki raised his paw politely. ‘Only a little. The Honey was meant to give you a hug. You are just weak.’

Mutsuki’s jaw fell on the floor. Taken aback by such a simple yet truthful statement. Even in other forms of life, kids doesn’t lie indeed.

The ex-idol mask slid back into place with a smirk of surrender. He spread his arms dramatically as his voice slipped into a performance tone.

‘Good morning, my little nightmares. I’m Mutsuki… Your new sensei. And I sincerely hope you’re all better at being students than I am at making life choices.’

Silence.

‘Yeah… I don’t really deal with kids this young a lot… That much is obvious…’ Mutsuki tried to hide his hurt. He liked being popular after all.

A small maneki neko giggled. ‘You’re shiny! Your soul is shiny!’ 

The others nodded in solidarity.

Mutsuki closed his eyes and exhaled. ‘...This is worse than the Tokyo Dome.’

Maybe Maria was right after all. “This was either going to save him or end in fire”.

Either way, it was going to be an interesting change in Mutsuki’s life. Before he could finish, something tugged on his sleeve. Then his skirt. Then his hair.

‘It’s shiny!’

‘He smells like strawberries!’

‘Is he food?’

‘He’s prettier than Sensei #1!’

‘Sensei #1 exploded!’

‘Sensei #1 what?!’

‘Oh yes,’ Youchan said innocently. ‘I should mention! The previous instructor was hospitalized.’

‘You left that part out on purpose!’ Mutsuki hissed. ‘Do I even ask how they got hurt?’

‘You looked nervous enough,’ she replied sweetly. ‘Now, everyone, introductions!’

The light flickered on fully.

Children toys floated on air. Walls either scratched or colored. Or both. All tables had mismatched wood. A sign of being repaired over and over. Clouds covering the ceiling threatened to rain over.

Mutsuki’s eyes widened. ‘This isn’t a classroom. It’s a magical battlefield disguised as a daycare!’

A Tanuki with a magician’s hat, not the usual kasa hat, was taking toys after toys out from his hat as if it doesn’t have a bottom. A Kitsune with three fluffy tails was striking dramatic idol poses while juggling chalkboard erasers with his tail. 

A Kappa princess sat on a floating cushion of cloud like a tiny empress. A Maneki Neko was wiping puddles with alarming determination. A trembling Oni hid under a table, hugging a bat. A small boy with fluffy blonde hair was clinging on Mutsuki’s leg, and in the corner, a child was slowly but surely turning into a Werewolf.

‘This,’ Youchan said brightly, ‘is your class.’

Mutsuki stared with his jaws on the floor.

‘Mon,’ she began, pointing at the tanuki, ‘from the Goyama clan, a tanuki family known for illusion arts. His hat? Bottomless storage. Do not let him pull things from it unsupervised.’

Mon tipped his hat. A unlit firework fell out. A bewildered Mutsuki took a second to react but he eventually raised his hand to make the firework pack float towards him.

‘I don’t know about school safety but I am sure no flammable things are allowed.’ Mutsuki nonchalantly said as he tucked the confiscated item in his bag. This gesture garnered him a little bit of respect from the students.

‘Gon,’ Youchan continued, ‘kitsune, youngest from the Kurama clan. Can transform into any human he wants for a few seconds, though he prefers female presenting idols. Currently a Mutsuki fan.’

Gon sparkled, transformed into a mini Mutsuki, and posed. ‘Sensei! I already memorized your choreography!’

‘Please don’t,’ Mutsuki covered his face and pretended to be unpleased. Deep inside, he was very excited that he was still loved.

‘Sumire,’ Youchan said, gesturing to the floating cushion, ‘our kappa princess. No head bowl, no weakness. Please do not challenge her to arm wrestling.’

Sumire flipped her “hair” (seaweeds) elegantly. ‘Weakness is for commoners.’

Aren’t Kappas known to have a concave space on their head for water? And if you get them to spill it, then you can make them follow you. Without one, Sumire is basically without a weakness... Hmmm… However, there could only be one princess here, little Sumire. 

Mutsuki nodded to himself vigorously as he got lost in thought.

‘Weirdo!’

‘Hey! Who said that?’ Mutsuki spat without a beat.

Mutsuki could be childish at times. In fact all of the time. He was already looking to be a promising fit for the school of tiny misfits.

‘Meow,’ Youchan whispered to Mutsuki, ‘Maneki Neko. Reportedly brings bad luck.’

The light bulb above them flickered and died.

‘See?’ Youchan said.

Awwww surely not. Mutsuki could also be sweet. As long as things doesn’t bother him directly.

‘Honey,’ she continued, smiling at the boy still attached to Mutsuki’s leg.

‘Human with a bear spirit. Very affectionate. Very destructive and heavy. Please survive.’

Bear? Not the popular bear catching salmon carving souvenirs from Japan. But like, the most destructive spirits of ancient Japan BEAR!? Holy s***!

Honey grinned. ‘You’re soft, Sensei!’

‘That’s my bones cracking!’ Mutsuki groaned as he gently removed Honey and placed him on the seat right in front of the class. 

Very heavy and feels like rocks inside the soft body of a child. Seems to be the real deal. Time to hit the gym…

‘Kishin,’ she said, pointing under a table on the back, ‘our Oni boy. Strong when calm. Crybaby when stressed. Currently…’

*sniff sniff’*

‘…crying.’

A crybaby Oni? That’s new. Mutsuki was surprisingly quite knowledgable about magic, yokai and the other hidden side of the world, despite being a spoiled brat.

‘Akashi,’ she nodded to another human child, ‘werewolf. Can shift anytime, anywhere, usually when irritated. Please don’t irritate him.’

‘Already am,’ Akashi muttered as small fur slowly start to cover him.

‘And Kojiro, our Tengu.’

Waaiiit a minute!! Are we just mentioning Akashi in passing? Boy is slowly getting possessed in the corner! Mutsuki’s eyes were very much wide open that his contact lenses almost popped off. Yet Youchan continued.

‘He’s aloof, proud, and definitely judging you,’ she said as the crow from earlier landed neatly on her shoulder, flew atop a table and turned into a masked boy with sharp eyes and dark wings.

‘That was you!’ Mutsuki exclaimed. ‘He’s been judging me since the stairs!’

Mutsuki, despite being thoughtful, was also easily distracted.

Youchan clapped her hands once more, smiling. ‘And that concludes the introductions. Children, this is Mutsuki-sensei! Magical prodigy, vampire, ex-idol, and your teacher from now on. Well, maybe temporary.’

Mutsuki blinked. ‘Wait… temporary? How temporary are we talking?’ So I can leave?

I thought Maria said in passing, something about me being dragged into family business once and for all, if I don’t get these kids, all of these kids, to graduate?

‘Temporary… meaning, for as long as you can survive,’ she said with a bright smile and stepped back through her barrier and out.

‘Youchan!’

‘Good luck, Sensei.’ She daintily giggled as she zipped the barrier closed. 

Silence fell. Dozens of eyes glowed at him again.

Honey the human with bear spirit tackled hugged him. Mon the tanuki pulled a trumpet from his hat. Gon the kitsune started a dance-off while cosplaying a small idol Mutsuki. And tiny 100% werewolf Akashi was biting his table.

Mutsuki sighed. ‘From screaming fans… to screaming children. Fantastic.’